


Greek God, good God

by gotbahp



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Greek - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Twelve Gods of Olympus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), greek god au that no one ask for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:08:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 46,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21558304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotbahp/pseuds/gotbahp
Summary: Renjun had hoped that two weeks would be sufficient for the human to move on since their encounter. And yet, at exactly a month since then, he remains a lasting impression in Jeno’s head, the guy still keen on locating the boy he met in the burger joint.For Renjun. The. God. Of. First. Connections. The irony is baffling.A pseudo-Greek Mythology AU.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, some minor pairings as well
Comments: 32
Kudos: 143





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When I simply wanted to write a noren fic and word vomit happened...  
> This is going to be quite a long journey.
> 
> I've taken a lot of liberty in writing this, though still following Greek Mythology as closely as possible.  
> 

It has always been known of the Olympus realm that it started with just the twelve Gods. Yunho- the God of all Gods, Junmyeon- the God of the Sea, and Boa- the Goddess of Wisdom, to name a few.

The realm saw an influx of new gods and deities only about seven hundred years ago. The realm began to grow when the principal Gods demanded Zeus to provide some respite on their overwhelming duties. They complained that their godliness duties have been spread too wide, and matters complicated when their duties overlapped. So to placate them, Yunho gave the gods authority to choose mortals for immortality, effectively becoming gods that work under each specific principal God. The Olympians were satisfied with the arrangement and proceeded with choosing worthy mortals for grooming and transfer of duties.

The story returns to present times in the divine realm, where there are now hundreds of gods and messengers in existence, each with their specific role. 

This is a story about Renjun, The God of First Connections, one of the many gods who works for Aphrodite.

Ψ

Renjun snaps his pencil in half when he reads the report on his desk in the morning. He takes his job very seriously; as the God of First Connections, he works with other gods in his department and receives direct messages and orders from the super mysterious Moirai, the Gods who control fate.

So for this specific mortal to fail again is considered a personal attack to him especially, because like he said, he takes his job _very_ seriously.

“Hey Donghyuck, come look at this.” Renjun beckons the God of Charms, his colleague and also best friend of many hundreds of years. 

Donghyuck skids his chair down and takes the report, scanning through the document. “Ahh, him again?”

Renjun runs his hands in his blonde hair in frustration. “Yes, him again! This time I’ve made sure his first impression is going to be a positive encounter, and the God of Mutual Attractions has already given his word. The human should statistically be in this relationship for at least a year!”

Donghyuck muses as he spins around in his rolling chair. “Are the gods over at the Mischief department not sending in notices again? They could have forgotten to send it here, those imbeciles.” He clicks his tongue in disdain.

“No, I’ve triple checked and Chenle swore on Yunho’s name they wouldn’t be involved this time around. So there’s no way it’s them.” Renjun explains with a frown.

“Maybe you need to take a trip down the mortal realm and see for yourself what’s going on, Injunnie.” 

Renjun mutters under his breath about pollution and the sheer number of people making him claustrophobic whenever he makes a trip down.

“Hey, wanna join me? I’m sure-”

“Good luck!” Donghyuck cuts him off and waves goodbye for good measure.

“Fiend.” Renjun mutters under his breath.

Ψ

Lee Jeno, nineteen years old. He’s considered handsome, with his striking face and lean muscular frame captivating enough to attract perhaps half of Seoul’s singles population, in Renjun’s honest opinion. Can hold a conversation, considered fluent in the skill of flirting (thanks, Heechul), and have passable social cred like any other normal adult. And yet… the man is notorious for the number of failed matches in his report.

So even though it’s rather annoying, he has to pay the mortal a visit. And thus Renjun’s hard at work, examining the human with keen eyes; invisible to the man who seems to be working hard at his papers. He peers around and sees the shelves of books and other humans working similarly. He must be in the library. Renjun nods in approval and writes a note in his pad.

Another human walks over to Jeno’s desk and plods down loudly, earning a few stares from a few strangers. 

“So,” The man whispers. “I heard your date flopped.”

“Fuck off, Na Jaemin,” Renjun flinches at the foul language and scribbles again in his notepad. “Go away, I’m never going on dates anymore. I’m a celibate now.” Jeno solemnly announces.

“What’s wrong this time? Did you scare her off with your bad jokes again?” Renjun raises his eyebrow at that. He’s never heard jokes can cause relationship pairings to fail, he would have to ask the God of Jokes and Jests when he’s back in the realm.

“I was adequately funny. She laughed a few times.”

Jaemin appears doubtful. “Wendy is the nicest person I ever know, laughs at almost everything. There’s no way this wouldn’t work.” 

_The human named Jaemin understands!!_ Wendy was a _god-send;_ practically the purest and brightest human being since years and nope, Jeno still didn’t score that.

“Thanks, that makes me feel much better about myself when you said it like that.” Jeno gruffs out.

“I don’t know why you even try to be funny. You can be as boring as a brick, and people will still like you for your looks. You can’t have the best of everything, Jeno.”

“Did I detect a hint of compliment somewhere?”

“That wasn’t even the point.” Jaemin deadpans.

“Maybe I just haven’t found the right person.” Jeno mumbles.

“The right person,” Jaemin parrots with an exasperated look on his face. “You’re such a romantic.” He snorts sarcastically.

“You may not think so, but there’s always a right person for everyone. I just haven’t found mine yet.”

Aww. Jeno sounded so corny, but indeed he’s right. Soulmates do exist, and partners who match are _perfect for_ each other _,_ like puzzle pieces that fit, two halves that form a whole, that sort of thing. An idea pops in Renjun’s head. Risky, but he weighed his options. It’s doable.

He snaps his fingers at both men, and their eyes glazed over, gold reflecting in their irises.

“I know a friend from out of town, do you want to meet him? I think you might like him.” Jaemin says monotonously as if reading from a script.

“Yes,” Jeno says automatically.

Renjun snaps his fingers again, and both men’s eyes returned to normal.

With that, the plan is set. He has thought this through; meeting Jeno under the guise of being Jaemin’s friend is crucial and necessary, he has to survey him in closer proximity if he has been so unsuccessful with all his matches. After all, he’s the God of First Connections, which means in nature he has to deal with both sides of the party. He can provide better chances for a relationship determined by fate, but there are always cases where destiny, something that gods have no control of, shapes the course and of a human’s life. 

Then the human would not fall under his problem. It’s his destiny to be single.

-

“You did what?” Donghyuck spats his glass of wine, staining his ivory silk robes in the process. Renjun tuts in disgust. He waves the stains away.

“I was just working! You said to see for myself what kind of person he is. So I am.”

“I did not mean setting yourself up on a date with him, did you even cleared it with Aphrodite?” Donghyuck hisses.

“Keep it down!” Renjun hushes quickly. “I’m just studying the mortal. This fake date allows me to understand him better, which means I will be better at my job and create better possibilities with my future cases.” He supplies. “Besides, it is just a few hours. What can go wrong?”

Donghyuck shakes his head in worry. “Your plan sure will make Baekhyun proud.”

“I am different from the God of Mischief.” Renjun retorts indignantly. “I’m not like them, I’m doing good. For the human.”

“For the human.” Donghyuck echoes. “I think you meant your perfect track record.”

“They mean the same thing to me.”

“Ahh.” Donghyuck pauses and sips his wine knowingly.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Donghyuck smiles saccharine sweet.

“I can literally see your gears turning. Do you have something to say?”

“Only good luck and may the blessings of Yunho be upon you!” Donghyuck exclaims, holding his wine glass in a toast.

Renjun sighs, and clinks his glass.

Ψ

He has set up the dinner to be a casual affair. The burger joint downtown where the university kids like to hang out would be the best location. He stands near the door and sees him already seated, and that scores a bonus point in his book. Good, dates should arrive not too early, and never too late.

Before he forgets, Renjun changes his white flowy tunic to fit the current trends; he shouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb after all. He tries a friendly smile and walks in.

-

Jeno scratches his head in confusion. Did he agree to this date? Didn’t he swear not to go on dates anymore just days ago? That’s weird.

He sips his soda as he waits for… he doesn’t know who exactly he’s waiting for. He must have been too preoccupied with his essays that he forgot to ask Jaemin about the name, or what kind of person he will be meeting. The only thing he knows is that he’s not of this town, and the person’s a male. It doesn’t matter to Jeno anyway, he has been on dates with both men and women.

Relationships are so complex nowadays. He’s way past casual dates, _hookups,_ and just wish to have someone he can simply fall in love and would reciprocate his affections back. He doesn’t want to wake up in someone else’s bed, tiptoeing out of the house like an intruder.

Sometimes he wonders if he gives people the impression that he's only interested in flings. Maybe a year or two back he was, but he’s not now. Seriously, swear to god, he’s not.

It’s when he looks up from his phone typing a text to Jaemin that he sees an unfamiliar face at the door staring at him. His breath hitches. _Could he be?_

The boy smiles and paces over most peculiarly, his steps light and almost like he’s levitating inches above the floor. His blonde hair shines even under the dim lighting of the burger joint, and Jeno thanks the higher powers that he chose to wear one of his better shirts today.

“You’re Jeno?” The boy stops in front of him and asks. His voice light and clear amongst the light chatter. He has a pretty sounding voice.

“Y-yes!” Jeno replies a split second later. “You are?” Jeno asks.

“Oh!” He balks. “I’m Renjun, I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself right away.” He laughs a little.

“That’s all right, I went on a date before and I think I wasn’t clear when I introduced myself, she kept calling me Jemo. I didn’t get to correct her even at the end.”

Renjun nods along and smiles, quite blindingly. “I know.”

“You… know?” Jeno asks, a puzzled smile on his face.

Dumbass, Renjun screams internally. _He doesn’t know you know literally everything about him!!_

“I-I mean I know… these things can happen. My name is easily mispronounced too!” Renjun chortles out a laugh quickly.

“I see!” Jeno agrees easily. “Are you from overseas?”

“Uhh, yes. Sort of. My family moved around a lot.”

He makes a sound of understanding when the conversation lulls. Both of them appear visibly relieved when the waiter comes with the menu. As they browse in silence, Jeno peeks at the man across him, his chestnut-colored eyes scanning the menu, his eyelashes long enough to cast a shadow on his cheeks. Secretly wishing the date to be a success, he says a silent prayer, in hopes that any higher being can hear.

-

Truthfully, Renjun enjoyed the human’s company more than he expected. He has anticipated worse, but the man proves pleasant and engaging enough for Renjun to forget he’s actually working at times.

“Renjun?” Jeno asked, and Renjun snaps his head up.

“Sorry, did I bore you?”

Renjun shakes his head wildly. “No, I was distracted by... uh, your eyes. They.. smile.”

_Shitshitshit. What was that? That was fucking lame and stup-_

“That was supposed to be my line.” Jeno admonishes with a wink.

In that second that Renjun recognises the look of mild attraction on the human’s face, he realised meeting him might have been a mistake. He is treading on dangerous waters, and he has to leave before the human makes any plans that might alter his destiny. That would be dreadful, and he would have to face many gods for questioning. He can hear Donghyuck say “Told you so!” even from down here.

His anxiousness bubbling over, he studies his watch on his wrist he procured just seconds ago and gasps audibly. “Wow- would you look at the time. I’m sorry but I have to go, this has been wonderful. It has been great knowing you!”

Jeno jerks up in disbelief at the sudden change of events, his face written fully in shock. “I-I-,” He stammers. “Uh me too? Wait- Hold on just a second. Are you sure, do you want me to send you home?”

Renjun wishes he could just disappear into thin air with just a snap of his fingers, but it would freak out everyone in the restaurant, and that is not something in his agenda. “No it’s fine. Bye Jeno!” 

He doesn’t turn back when Jeno calls his name a second time. Renjun disappears just seconds before the human runs out of the restaurant, only specks of golden flames left where he last stood before he snaps his fingers.

Ψ

“I swear he is the strangest person I ever met,” Jeno says with his mouth full of fries. “I can’t believe he left like the fairytale chick who lost her slippers. What’s her name again?”

“Cinderella.” Jaemin supplies. Jeno points a fry in Jaemin’s direction in acknowledgment.

Jeno sighed as he chews his fries in thought. “When I’m talking to him I just feel like I’m out of my league. How do you know him anyway?”

Jaemin appears borderline bored at the question. “I told you so many times, he’s just someone I know long ago. I have so many friends I usually forget how I even know them in the first place.”

“And you don’t have his number.” Jeno comments.

“As you said, he moves around a lot. I haven’t seen him… For a long time.” Jaemin sips his coke loudly. “He’s like a friend of a friend of a friend... or something like that.”

“Right.”

“Come on, I have been asking almost everyone I know, there’s bound to be a person who has his number, I’m sure. Renjun isn’t it? It’s not a hard name to remember.”

“But honestly,” Jaemin adds, “Don’t spend your time on him, there is plenty of fish in the sea! Don’t get cooped up on just one.”

“Doesn’t hurt to make a friend.” Jeno mumbles.

-

Renjun had hoped that two weeks would be sufficient for the human to move on since their encounter. And yet, at exactly a month since then, he remains a lasting impression in Jeno’s head, the guy still keen on locating the boy he met in the burger joint. 

For Renjun. The. God. Of. First. Connections. The irony is baffling. 

He doesn’t even want to think about the worst-case scenario where he has to resort to wiping the man’s memories of him. That would require an audience with several high-level gods, and he can’t bear the embarrassment and shame when Aphrodite looks at him in disappointment. He was one of the earliest gods to serve her after all! What would other gods think?

“What am I going to do?” He wails sadly to Donghyuck. “I can’t make any changes to his file, the system keeps overriding my commands. It’s not like I can ask the Moirai for help.”

Donghyuck puts his hands on both sides of his shoulder firmly. “Get a grip. You can’t delay this any longer, you need to tell her what happened. Do you want to get banished and sent to the mortal realm, or worse, serving Hades in the underworld?”

“NOOO!!” Renjun practically screams out. “I like being a god. Above the clouds and all...” He sniffs and wipes his runny nose. Donghyuck regards him with a pained expression.

“I’m sure she has a solution for you. Go, right now.”

“Okay. Fine. I’m going,” Renjun says.

“To my downfall.” He mumbled unhappily.

-

Renjun climbs up the marble steps up to the high altar, where Aphrodite can be found working in her office. He passes the message to seek an audience with her to one of her guards. He views the intricate design on the closed stone door as he waits, a monumental fresco display of seashells intertwined in a rose vine. The thorns around the vines seem to gleam under natural light. The effect is both spectacular and unnerving at the same time.

The stone door opens and the guards move back for him to pass. Exhaling out a shaky breath, Renjun marches in with all the courage he can muster.

Although gods will never age in appearance, it seems that the Goddess of Love is even more beautiful and graceful since the last he saw her. 

“Your humble God of First Connections seeks your advice and guidance,” Renjun shakily says when Aphrodite emerges from her chamber. 

“Please rise Renjun, and spare me the formalities, we have been gods since forever. Call me by my name.”

“Y-yes, Irene. I apologise.”

“And you are here to seek my advice. What is the matter?” Irene asked, her face gently tilted in question.

Renjun wipes his palms on his lap nervously. “Well, you see… I decided to do a little research on a particular human.. his problem was his multiple failed matches... but his first impression to others should pose no problem for attraction to happen! I wanted to see for myself what could be wrong with this specific case.”

Renjun takes a quick glance and Irene signals for him to continue.

“I met him under the guise of a human and had a quick meetup.. It was really quick.” Renjun emphasises with absolute certainty. “But after that day, he has been in search of me, and I thought I could retract what I’ve done by setting up another person for him. But when I tried to access his file, it was locked.” Renjun’s explained, his heart beating furiously as he waits for Irene to reply.

“Oh, my poor child,” Irene says with a shake of her head. “This would never have been an issue for other gods in the realm, we could simply wipe his memories away and nothing would have happened.”

Dread sinks in his chest as the sentence registers in his head. _For other gods. Excluding him._

“First Connections and love don't come hand in hand from the instant, but all blossoming of love and attraction starts from the very first meeting, where fate decides.” Irene recites. “An old rule set by the Moirai has worked against your favour, God of First Connections.”

“I wasn’t aware of this rule,” Renjun says, his face contorted.

“It seems the Moirai has pulled a terrible trick on you. They have decided to intertwine the mortal’s fate and yours, without you and me knowing.”

Renjun can’t believe what he’s hearing. His fate, intertwined with a mortal? Can this even happen? So many questions threaten to burst from his mouth, and he grabs his robes tight in anxiety. He’s queasy with so many emotions he’s afraid it’s going to spill out in his tone. There’s a pregnant pause as he musters some control.

“Why would the Moirai do this to me?” Renjun grits.

Irene reaches out her hand and an ancient-looking book flies from her chambers. “Well, I’m sorry you have to hear this, but the Moirai, are a nightmare to be in the same room with. They only answer to Yunho. The principal Gods made Yunho pass an edict to prohibit the Moirai from meeting other gods. We fear they may, on a whim, play with everyone’s fates. It would be a catastrophe.”

Renjun takes in the information, but he doesn’t know how that helps him solve the issue at hand. “I still don’t know what I need to do to break our fates.”

She flips through the pages of the book and hums a tune. “Well for a start, you need to meet the mortal again.”

Renjun widens his eyes, shaking his head in protest. 

Irene scowls sympathetically. “It gets worse.”

Ψ

After his meeting with Irene, he has come to terms that he has to be the one to break off their so-called intertwined fate. The solution is to scheme a plan to make the human fall in love with someone else for good so that their fates will never ever intertwine again. 

The first step of his plan is to enroll himself at the university where the human studies. He signs himself up for Classical Studies, just for laughs. He gawks disapprovingly at the numerous concrete buildings and large smoked glass and stifles a sigh. _Such ugly buildings for an educational institution._

“You look miserable.” Renjun hears the voice behind him. He whips around in surprise and sees Donghyuck, face split into a smirk.

“Donghyuck?” Renjun shrieks in surprise. “Why are you here?!”

“What else? I’ve come to be of assistance for your task.”

Renjun regards his best friend fondly, but quickly rearranges his expression to distrust. “Wait, you can’t fool me. I guess someone put you up to it?”

Donghyuck laughs out awkwardly. “Fine, Irene sent me here.”

Renjun rolls his eyes at the confession. “I knew it. Like you would leave the realm for me.” Renjun grumbles. “You’re like, the laziest.”

“Well, I’m here anyway. You can thank me later when you finish clearing your mess.”

“I’m going to, you just watch me.” Renjun retorts. “A millennium later, no god will remember this.”

“You better,” Donghyuck says, suddenly serious. “There’s a running bet, and I wagered against the Erotes siblings, so you must succeed.”

Renjun widens his eyes in shock and slaps him on the shoulder. “Ow,” Donghyuck whines. “What was that for?”

“Gods, I can’t believe there’s a bet, it’s my divinity at stake!” Renjun crosses his arms in displeasure. “What are the odds? I demand to know!”

Donghyuck gently pushes Renjun to the direction of the lecture hall, “Come on, the class is starting soon. You don’t want to be late for your first ever mortal taught lesson, right?”

“This discussion is not finished.” Renjun grits his teeth when a group of humans passes their way.

-

He’s queuing for fish and chips with Jaemin when the boy appears in the cafeteria with a friend. Jeno feels his stomach lurches, and he stops in his tracks. It has been nearly two months (not like he’s been counting) and he thought he wouldn’t see him again. He closes his eyes tightly and opens it again. Yup, it’s definitely Renjun, in the flesh!

Jaemin turns around when he sees his friend stand still like a statue, with a dumbfounded look on his face. “What are you doing just standing there…” He walks back and follows Jeno’s gaze. “What are you looking at?”

“That’s Renjun. He’s right over there.”

Jaemin scans the crowd but doesn’t see anyone familiar.

“Where?”

“The blonde. He’s beside the water coolers.”

Jaemin spots the blonde mop of hair.

“Ren..Jun?” He mutters. The name rolls off his tongue easily, but it’s bizarre how the face doesn’t seem to bring up any memories in his mind. What a coincidence it must be, when the exact moment he uttered the name the boy instantly meets eyes with him in a sea of people. The boy looked strangely afraid for some reason. Bewilderment starts to creep up, and confusion starts to fog in his brain.

His eyes follow the blonde’s rising arm, increasingly transfixed. In precise motion, he sees the boy snaps his fingers, and everything goes dark.

-

“J-Jaemin, hey buddy!” Jeno shakes Jaemin as he slowly starts to regain consciousness. “My God, are you okay?” Jeno says, worry etched on his face.

“W-wha… What happened?” He surveys his surroundings and realise he’s in the infirmary. He clutches his pulsing head and winces in pain.

“You suddenly fainted and I freaked out because no matter what we did you wouldn’t wake,” Jeno says hurriedly. “And then Renjun helped and we brought you here. The nurse said you had a minor concussion when you fell, but you should be alright after some rest.”

Jaemin spots Renjun standing a slight distance away.

“Hey Jaemin, long time no see.” Renjun says.

_Snap._

Like a clearing fog, his mind clears.

“Hey Renjun, it’s been so long.” Jaemin smiles widely, and beckons for him to come closer. “How have you been? Are your parents well?”

Renjun smiles, the relief on his face unmistakable.

_-_

“So,” Jeno clears his throat. “Thank you for your help today. There were so many people around just now, it was so chaotic. Please help me thank your friend too.” Jeno smiled. 

Renjun is honestly disheartened; nothing ever goes to plan after knowing Jeno. He had wanted to work in invisibility as he works on breaking their fates, but it’s not even been a week and he’s already talking to him as they walked out together after visiting Jaemin at the infirmary.

Renjun plants a smile on his face. “Oh, my friend’s name is Donghyuck. And don’t worry about it.”

“So, what brings you here to my school?” Jeno asks conversationally.

“I enrolled! I’m sick of moving around, so I decided to stay in this town with Donghyuck to finish our studies.” He lies, and he doesn’t miss the surprise in Jeno’s eyes. 

“That’s really great! I guess I will be seeing you more often from now?”

Renjun sighed internally. “Sure! We can hang out when we’re free. Though it looks like our classes are really far apart.”

Jeno blinks, amusement written on his face. “You went to check how far apart our classes are?”

Colour drains away from Renjun’s face. Trust him to let it slip.. he might as well reveal he knows almost everything about the mortal. Maybe the human would think he’s a creep and flee for his life. That would be extremely helpful.

“Um, I just wanted to know what’s the distance… in relation to the buildings... I might… venture later on. I’m a slow walker.” He explains lamely.

“I’m pulling your leg,” Jeno says, his eyes turning into crescents, his arm nudging at Renjun’s gently. Renjun immediately flinched at the contact and takes a step back. _He’s so warm._

Renjun coughs loudly when it’s apparent Jeno’s slightly taken aback by his reaction. Thankfully, the human doesn’t probe, because he really wants to crawl into a hole right now. It’s so difficult being around humans for so long. He doesn’t fear that his true identity might get exposed (it seems the mortal world doesn’t believe in the existence of gods, deities, the like nowadays). He’s mostly scared of their volatile minds. The unpredictability, their flippancy, it unsettles him.

“I forgot, Donghyuck’s still waiting for me. I’m going now. I will see you around?” Renjun says as he picked up his pace.

Jeno waves goodbye with a look on his face, and Renjun felt as if he kicked a puppy.

Ψ

Sitting through just three lectures for his course has admittedly been a dumb move on Renjun’s part, he realises. There were many times he sorely wishes to correct the lecturer on his teachings. While he wasn’t one of the first gods to set foot on Mount Olympus, he was one of the first mortals granted immortality by Irene, so he thinks he’s qualified enough to say that the lessons have been nothing but codswallop.

“My essay is overly imaginative and too opinionated. What does that even mean? I wrote exactly what happened!” Renjun mutters to himself as he slams his books down on the wooden table. He kicks a pebble in anger, causing the nymphs in the grass to hiss at him. He scans the splendid garden personally attended by Hegemone herself. The lush landscape and magnificent variety of flora only help dissipate his anger just slightly.

“Someone’s in a pissy mood.” Donghyuck materializes before him, sensing Renjun’s mood right away.

“The human professor was nothing but a fraud. He didn’t even get the important events right! If you were there, you would have reacted the same.”

Donghyuck stares at him, incredulous at the reason for his anger. “Injunnie, tell me, were you down on earth, to discuss ancient history with the mortals? Rather than actually working on completing your task, you got yourself heated up over that?”

“Er...” Renjun mumbles, embarrassed at his outburst. “No, of course not.”

“Have mercy for the humans and don’t get your knickers in a twist!” Donghyuck nags with a disapproving tone. “Focus on your task, the human doesn’t have infinite time for you to waste, remember that.” Donghyuck slaps Renjun on his shoulder.

“Fine, fine. I get it.” Renjun whines as he slumps down, face hidden into the table.

“What’s your plan? Are you going to wait out until the mortal moves on? Because that would be a cowardly move.”

Renjun raises his head from the table. “I’m not going to do that! I’m waiting for the right opportunity to create the first link. It takes time.” He pouts.

The first link is a decisive moment when strangers meet, and they can end up remaining strangers, or evolving as friends, best friends, partners, enemies… the list goes on. All human connections are interconnected, spun by the web of fate.

To create the first link, Renjun just needs to make a connection happened. However, for Jeno, he needs to make a lasting connection that evolves beyond the first link, creating a stronger string of fate. The string that connects himself and the human would slowly thin out through time until it disappears entirely once both parties don’t work on continuing the relationship any longer.

“Who’s the chosen one?” Donghyuck asks.

“Thought you’ll never ask.” Renjun cheekily says, pulling out a scroll from thin air. “She is the most promising.” Renjun says with conviction.

“Yeri.” Donghyuck reads the name on the paper. “You sure about her?”

Renjun thumps his chest in confidence. “I’m positive.”

-

It took some effort on Renjun’s part to choose the right location and time for the first link to happen. He’s already thought about the perfect first scenario, a classic in human’s books. He would rather die to admit he’s actually a hopeless romantic.

Of course Yeri and Jeno have met many times before, as passersby, as mentioned names simply heard and forgotten… But this time, with Renjun laying the foundations, they will finally get to meet.

Their fated first encounter would only happen next year, but with Renjun’s influence, they would be able to meet each other just a bit earlier. He spots both humans a distance away, walking towards each other. Staying invisible, he follows Yeri closely as their distance steadily decreases. 

As expected, the two of them don’t seem to notice each other, both distracted when they pass by separately. Renjun wriggles his fingers and whispers an incantation at Yeri’s backpack. The fabric tears and her belongings spill out immediately.

“Shit- noooo!” Yeri shrieks loudly and makes a grab for her belongings.

Jeno turns around at the noise. He sees a girl, with her ripped bag and scattered books, files, and pens. He bends over and picks them up, one by one.

 _Score!_ Renjun beams happily. He mutters a few more enhancement spells around them and waits for their imminent contact to happen.

“Here you go.” Jeno passes the items to Yeri, who looks up in gratitude at the kind stranger. Renjun waits with bated breath as their eyes finally meet. The first link is finally created.

-

They remained like this, eyes locked for several seconds until she breaks contact shyly. A _handsome_ stranger, her mind seems to say.

“T-thank you so much.” Yeri shyly says. Her backpack’s too torn to be used anymore, and she fumbles around with her armful of belongings, looking uncomfortable. Jeno pulls out a recyclable bag from his backpack that he occasionally uses when he buys groceries.

“Here, use this for now.” Jeno offers and opens the bag wide for Yeri to deposit her belongings.

“Thank you again… I’m Yeri.” She trails off, her head tilt sideways in question.

“Hi Yeri, I’m Jeno. Nice to meet you.”

Yeri chuckles, her laughter girly and bright. “I owe you for your help today.” She pauses for a second and braves her heart. “Can I treat you to coffee or tea? If you’re not too busy?” She says, her cheeks flushed.

Jeno glances at the girl he just met, her big round expectant eyes and body language that signals something akin to interest.

“Sure, coffee sounds good. We can do tea after if you like.” Jeno answers, smirking at the girl’s overjoyed expression.

Unbeknownst to the humans, the God of First Connections roars in victory, and he breaks into a victory dance, his arms flailing around in exhilaration as both mortals leave together for their date.

He leaves immediately for the divine realm, but not before picking up a series of Japanese comics for Heechul. The God of Flirtations sure did some fine work on the human.

Ψ

Since Jeno’s file can’t be accessed anymore, Renjun has to travel down the mortal realm to check up on him. He visits one month later, trepidation accumulating as he searches for him in his usual hangouts.

He finally finds him at a cafe he is documented to usually visit, and he’s with Yeri (“Yesssssssss!” Renjun cheers), and judging from their expressions they seem to be happily chatting. 

It would be impolite not to say hi to the lovebirds since he finds no harm in revealing himself now. He steps in and walks straight ahead, beaming at them.

“Hey Jeno!” Renjun says, and Jeno’s eyes glance over after hearing his name called. 

“Renjun! I haven’t seen you around since the last time. Where have you been?”

“Ohh, I have been busy with essays, submissions, the usual headache-inducing work…” Renjun drawls on convincingly like a stressed-with-studies student. He gives a sideways glance to Yeri’s direction, and he purposely takes glances back and forth at them, just to be dramatic.

“Shouldn’t you be introducing me to your… girlfriend?” Renjun cocks his head in question.

Both of them appeared stunned and burst out in laughter, and Renjun stares at them intently, waiting for confirmation he has always wanted to hear.

“Hi, I’m Yeri, and I’m not his girlfriend. We’re not dating.”

Renjun’s jaw would have preferred to drop on the floor of the cafe if it could. His eyes flick from Yeri and Jeno in search of answers, but it is futile. His self-control cracks and he pulls a chair and prods himself down, earning the surprise of both humans.

“Why not? I think you guys are soooo compatible with each other.” He bluntly asked, ignoring the incredulity formed on their faces..

“I mean, we did try at first… but afterward we decided that we’re better as friends.” Yeri says with a light blush.

Renjun rubs at his temples, feeling an impending headache coming.

“Renjun, are you okay?” Jeno asks.

“I’m fine.” He grits his teeth, frustration bubbling in his stomach. _No, he’s not fine,_ he’s angry, perplexed why his plan doesn’t work, has in fact never work with this particular human. He’s back to square one, all the effort for naught, and for the very first time in his eternity as a god, he wishes he was doing something mean, something diabolical. How easy would it be if his job is to create mischiefs like Chenle and his colleagues? Right now he would very much prefer to make him fall flat on his face, instead of the impossible task of finding love for him.

His anger spiked considerably when he thinks how pathetically ignorant humans have lived, how fickle-minded their minds are.. that he can’t look at the two without contempt in his eyes.

Of course, the sky would rupture in a series of lightning and deafening thunder, a total reversal of the clear skies less than a minute ago. An angered god has caused an effect in the skies.

Both humans jumped at a particularly ear-splitting thunder that rumbled deeply for several seconds.

“The weather sure is spooky.” Yeri winces when another lash of lightning slices the sky. 

“What’s wrong with Jeno?” Renjun drills on, the topic still not forgotten. “What is he doing wrong you’re not dating him anymore?”

Jeno looks offended at the remark. “Renjun, stop this.”

“Haven’t you heard of the tale? If the skies suddenly turn it means that humans have made the gods mad. And the humans, who are disruptive and unruly would get struck by lightning.” Renjun utters snidely as if they will understand it is implied at them.

Yeri sucks in a breath and doesn’t meet Renjun’s eyes. Jeno’s silence and Renjun’s abrasive tone has caused the atmosphere to turn ominous.

“What is your problem?” Jeno snaps when Yeri leaves in a haste, citing a sudden matter she has to attend.

Renjun rolls his eyes. “You’re the problem.”

Jeno raised an eyebrow at that. “Enlighten me, because I barely know you to be honest. We’ve only met, like two times.”

 _This little shit,_ Renjun screeches in his mind. He’s so deep in the soup because of this intertwined fate nonsense and he can’t believe he’s so disrespected by this human.

He’s this close to snapping his fingers to punish Jeno, he doesn’t care about hiding his identity anymore when Donghyuck appears without warning behind the human. “Injun, don’t.”

Jeno shoots up in his seat, frightened by a sudden appearance. He didn’t even hear footsteps!

“Come on, let’s go.” He beckons.

“No.” Renjun seethes in anger. “This human needs a lesson.”

Jeno appears baffled. _Human?_

“Irene seeks you.” Donghyuck simply says.

“She knows?”

Donghyuck gives a tiny nod.

“It’s all your fault!” Renjun points an accusing finger at the Jeno. He groans out in frustration and makes their way out to the exit, paying no attention at Jeno who is shouting at them to stop, rightfully nonplussed at the abnormal turn of events. “Hello? What is this! Are you guys just fucking leaving without any explanation?”

Renjun lets out a long-suffering sigh. He simply snaps his fingers and vanishes with Donghyuck in plain sight.


	2. Chapter 2

When he arrives back to the divine realm, Irene’s guards separate him from Donghyuck, and he hangs his head low, already knowing what’s coming for him. Unlike his last visit to Irene’s office, he’s on his knees this time around. He’s grateful that he’s spared from the shame of public prosecution.

Irene appears and lets out a sad sigh at the sight of her God of First Connections. “Oh no, Renjun.”

Renjun bows down miserably. “I know I've failed you.”

Irene shakes her head, offering her hands to pull Renjun up from his knees. “That is untrue. Disappointing yes, but you’ve not failed.”

Renjun looks at her with uncertainty. “I’ve not failed?”

“Not exactly.” Irene musters a smile.

“I wish to understand.” Renjun implores.

“I’ve told Yunho about your case, the unfairness of it all. He has spoken with the Moirai, and they have agreed to cease with their antics. You don’t have to work on your task anymore.”

Renjun raises his head as tears of gratitude fall from his face. What did he do to deserve such a kindhearted and understanding principal god?

“Although you’ve served under me for so many millennia, I still forget at times you were barely twenty when you gained immortality. You were so young when I found you.” Irene says.

Mortal-born gods have wiped the slate clean, only given the fact that they were once human. They have no residual memories, nothing to remind them of who they were. The principal Gods are perhaps the only ones that remember their history. All mortal-born gods must have at times been curious about what kind of lives they led in the past, but no one truly invests their time to find out. Why would they, when they are bestowed the highest glory to view humankind from above, away from the peril of time and the human plight?

“Sometimes I wish Yunho allowed me to retain the memories of the gods in my temple, because how do we bring love to mankind if we’ve never experienced love ourselves?” She trails off in thought. “But that’s for another discussion for another time, I suppose.”

Renjun nods, focusing on her words with bated breath. 

“I'm sorry you have to hear this, but a deal has been made. The Moirai had agreed to back off, only if you live fully as a human for four years, without any interrupting divine powers. You can only return when four years is up.”

Time stopped then for him as the words reverberated in the room. Renjun felt like he was punched in the gut, succumbing to the despair as he falls on his knees. Even Irene could not do anything to save him from the Moirai's ploy. There’s no fight left for him when he’s utterly powerless at the whims of the ruling gods. The only thing left to do is to accept.

-

He wasn’t even given time to mope around in his misery. Made to travel down after the week, the other gods hastily planned a not-really-farewell farewell gathering for the God of First Connections.

“It’s not forever,” Donghyuck says encouragingly. “It’s just four years, Injun. Time will be up before you know it. Besides, we are even allowed to visit you!”

Heechul swirls the wine in his goblet in contemplation, his crimson locks hair flowing in the breeze. “You know, some gods here actually thinks you have the long end of the stick.”

“What?!” Renjun spits his wine in disgust. “I am banished! How am I benefitting by being a human? I have to subject myself to human frailty and its vices. I don’t see how it is a win for me!”

“There’s beauty in impermanence and value in volition. You get to experience new things, and you’re unrestrained by divine laws. There is an appeal in that.” Heechul replies as he sips from his cup. “Loosen up, young one. You get to play!”

“Wow, when you said it like that…” Donghyuck scrunches his nose. “Sounds like you're gonna have an exciting time down there, Injunnie.”

Renjun doesn’t have any reply to that. There's no point in debating when he has barely enough time left. His eyes wander around at the realm, taking in the sights he's used to for all his eternity, and he sighs despondently. “I’m going to miss this place and you guys. Promise to visit me often?”

“Aww.” Chenle coos. “Group hug!” He shouts piercingly, and Renjun tries not to cry as he gets engulfed from all sides in a tight embrace.

-

_“My child, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from the Moirai.” Irene said regretfully. His mind wanders back to Irene’s chamber as he turns back to observe the closing golden gates of Mount Olympus one last time. He wipes a stray tear off his cheek._

_“I will be back soon and serve you well. It will be like I’ve never left!” Renjun said as cheerily as he could._

_“You will soon find that the mind and heart don’t always have to agree,” Irene remarked as she comes closer. Renjun doesn’t understand, but he daren’t ask when she’s so near. She takes his palm in his hands and flicks her hand up in circular motions. A necklace materializes and falls gently on his hands. Renjun gapes at the seashell pendant and discovers that a delicate rose lays within._

_“Wear this necklace when you’re ready,” Irene says cryptically._

_“Ready for… what?” Renjun asks._

_“Time will reveal everything.” Irene whispers, the enigma apparent._

Ψ

Renjun finds that life as a human is excruciatingly inconvenient, exactly how he imagined it to be.

He discovers that he still has to retain his disguise as Renjun, a university undergraduate of Classical Studies whose parents he barely sees as they constantly work across countries. He keeps his head low during classes, never speaking to anyone. It makes him feel vulnerable and exposed, with no one to seek advice from, no one to report to. It’s unnerving that he’s now on his own.

Nothing also happens anymore when he snaps his fingers.

Thankfully, he isn’t banished to the wild mankind with nothing in his name. He finds that everything has been prepared for; a modest two-room apartment, money for him to survive comfortably for the whole duration he's here, and his favourite books and music all courtesy of his friends.

School, apartment, rinse and repeat.

He starts the count to the end of his punishment.

He finds he can only sleep with the lights on.

-

It is uncanny how the least person he hopes to see, would be the first person he has to talk to. Obviously, they would have to cross paths some way or another, but good Zeus, it came so soon. 

“Renjun!” The human (Jeno, Renjun reminds himself) calls when he spotted him in the cafeteria. He stiffens when he recognises the voice, his face automatically distorted into a grimace. It disappears when he turns around, a polite wave in greeting as Jeno skips his way to him.

The incident in the cafe has already been wiped from his and Yeri’s memory. That was also the last time he still had his powers, he recalls with a dull thud in his heart.

“Are you alone? Where’s your friend?” Jeno asks.

“Oh..” Renjun remembers Jeno has met Donghyuck before. “He decided to study overseas, so it’s just me now.” Renjun carefully explains.

“That’s a pity... Do you want to join my friends and me for lunch? I promise we won’t bite!”

Renjun makes a motion to refuse, but Jeno doesn’t even wait for his reply. He wraps his hands around his wrist and drags him along, and soon he locked eyes with Jaemin and two other guys he doesn’t know.

Jaemin. A pang of guilt settles in his chest just by looking at him.

“Hey guys, this is Renjun!” Jeno introduces, and the guys greet him in unison. Renjun nods awkwardly. 

“He recently moved back to Korea and he transferred here! He knows Jaemin when they were young, and I know him from… well, from Jaemin. R-right.”

He resolutely ignores Jaemin’s shit-eating grin.

“Hey, I’m Mark Lee, I’m a 3rd year majoring in Music Production.” The guy on the right introduces. 

“And this is Jisung, he’s a dance major. He has no respect for us even when he’s the youngest.” Jeno makes a face at the guy beside Mark.

“My respect needs to be earned!!” Jisung hollers and Jeno sprints after him in circles around their table.

“What’s your major?” Mark asks casually, ignoring the commotion.

“Ooh,” Jaemin says with a wiggle of his brows. “He’s in Classical Studies, can you believe that? I heard only geniuses go there.”

“That’s great, we need someone with brains in this group, our conversations have been pretty basic, to be honest.” Mark guffaws.

“Right…” Renjun mutters, slightly panicking when the others argue over each other on who’s the dumbest of the group. How is that something to argue about anyway?

He's slightly taken aback when Jeno returns from his chase and pats him on his shoulder lightly. “Hey! Have you ordered your lunch?”

Renjun shakes his head dumbly, brain overload from the chaos and buzzing chatter all around him. It’s too much conversation, too many people, too much all at once!

“Let's go!” Jeno pulls him along with a warm smile. “The curry here is the best here, you have to try it.”

Renjun makes a face when he gets pulled, and he pointedly ignores the hand around his wrist again as he's dragged away again. 

Ψ

Three months. An approximate 90 days in human life. Enough to accustom himself in the mortal world, Renjun thinks. 

A few virtues he's learned in the 3 months of being included in Jeno’s group are kindness, tolerance… mostly just tolerance. The test came too early for comfort, which he also failed instantly the moment he opened the door. 

Because how can he maintain a straight face when they showed up at his doorstep, not a single one of them explaining how the flipping heck they managed to find his address and why they think it’s fine to visit anyway and what are they even doing peering around his shelves and opening the drawers of his flat????

“What are you guys doing here?!” He shrieks, closing the opened cupboards doors in his kitchen and pulling Jisung away from his pantry. Too late, he’s already opened one of his snacks.

 _Evil incarnates, beastly creatures…_ the list is endless as he scowls unhappily at the lot of them. He pinches the bridge of his nose, a slight headache forming.

When they spoke of visiting his apartment awhile back, he has adamantly refused, citing all sorts of reasons and changing the topic to steer the thought away. He has never thought of inviting anyone to his humble abode, it’s his personal space in this unfamiliar world, where he can be who he actually is.

“Wow, I know you’re a classical study major and all, but this is almost a fetish?” Jisung offhandedly remarks, pointing at his collection of ancient scrolls and pottery pieces on his shelves. Renjun pales. They are choice pieces that he brought down from the divine realm so that he could reminisce whenever he misses life above.

“It’s… to acquaint myself with the historical age I’m studying right now. They’re… fake!”

“Who cares if it’s real or fake? It’s just papers.” Jisung laughs out, and Renjun grips the handle of his chair tightly. One day he’s going to teach Jisung a lesson; the kid always has his way with words that always make him feel he’s half-witted.

Jaemin waves Jisung dismissively. “Try and get a house like this and you can put whatever shit you want. You’re just jealous.” 

That was totally backhanded.

“Your flat is amazing! Your family must be loaded.” Mark adds, slapping Renjun on his back.

“Er... my… parents work overseas most of the year, so they thought it would be good to have my own place.” He quickly conjures, and Mark inclined his head in understanding.

Jaemin wagged his eyebrows suggestively. “I see that you have an empty bedroom. Do you need a roommate?”

Renjun widened his eyes, at a loss for words. Jeno appears at the right moment and punches Jaemin on his shoulder. “What’s wrong with being my roommate? You chose that place!”

“Look at this place and tell me you don’t want to move out of our shithole too.” Jaemin retorts.

Jisung interrupts their discussion by pointing at the TV. “Hey Renjun hyung, where’s the remote control for the TV?”

Renjun searches anxiously for something that resembles somewhat like a remote control. How would he know? He never considers switching on that thing.

“Erm, the drawers perhaps? Honestly... I don’t watch much TV.”

“What about games? You kept it somewhere?”

“Games?” Renjun repeats, his face in a twist.

Jisung exhales out a breath. “What a nerd.” He mumbles.

 _I’m going to shove that remote control in your mouth one day,_ he fantasizes spitefully just as Jeno sends a pillow flying to Jisung’s face before he can dodge it. The boy sulks and rubs at his face.

“Pay no attention to them, he’s uncultivated and it shows.” Jeno tuts.

“Can I talk to you… in private for a moment?” Renjun mutters, his head pointing towards the spare bedroom. 

Jeno follows him into the room and once Renjun closes the door shut, he shoots his palms up in surrender. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t tell them where you live... if I know you’re uncomfortable about it.”

“It’s you!” He yells, his hands clenched up in frustration. “How did you even find out where I live?”

“I saw your school letters in between your books the other day… and it had the address on it.”

“Is it like a thing around here? Visiting people’s places without consent?” Renjun grumbles bitterly.

Jeno’s face falls quickly. “I’m sorry we didn’t ask you... We all thought surprising you was a good idea… but it’s definitely rude of us. We can leave.”

Jeno's looking at him for a reply, and Renjun tries not to crack with whatever conciliatory look he's trying to channel. “It’s fine. Stay.” Renjun resigned with a long exhale. “I’m just sensitive when people visit. It’s just... I like to keep my flat private.” He fumbles out part of the truth. 

How could he explain to him that the truth is he wants his space untainted by Jeno and his friends, and all of humankind? Is that so much to ask?

“Are you sure? We wanted to pop by and leave anyway, they were saying there’s this movie that they wanna watch. We thought of coming round to ask you to join. Do you want to grab something and watch a movie later? My treat!” Jeno appeases with an apologetic look on his face.

Fine. Anything to get them out of his apartment.

“You’re paying.”

-

Right. Why did he think joining them was a good idea?

If only he knew they were watching a horror movie, he would have bolted out the door as fast as his legs could run.

He has never watch anything from this genre ever. The last human-produced film he saw was The Wizard of Oz, back in… 1939.

He hadn’t made any comment about the movie they’ve selected because he hasn’t had a clue about the film. He’s more fascinated with state-of-the-art facilities and quality of the theaters, a total improvement from the old movie theaters at Wisconsin where he watched Dorothy and her friends travel to Emerald City to find the wizard… in blurry quality. It wasn’t that enjoyable watching the whole length of the film when the seats were stiff and the rows too narrow. But now times are different. He’s seated comfortably in the plush seat between Jeno and Mark on both his sides, a tub of popcorn in his arms. This is fun.

But clearly, the customs to his hard and miserable life has to continue running somewhere. Thirty minutes into the movie he regrets leaving his house for this macabre shitshow that promises nightmares for days. 

His hair stood on end when the possessed antagonist in the picture starts his killing spree. He involuntary jolts in his seat when the guy corners a woman who’s weeping for him to spare her, her hands defensively covering her bloated stomach. She’s pregnant, Renjun gasps, too engrossed in the movie. He shrieks out when the guy charges at her, slashing at her body with even more fervour. 

A look at the others and his blood run cold; Jaemin and Jisung don’t even seem to be affected by the disturbing scenes, sporting looks of disinterest when the character slashes the next character like butter. Mark’s the only one making sounds… _whooping_ sounds of delight that frightens him even more immensely.

He hides his face behind his hands, cowering and folding his body in half when he hears more screams and slashing sounds from the speakers. 

Perhaps he’s not ready for the modern production of films; scenes too real that it’s feeling like sin watching it play out as time passes. He's sick to the stomach when a loud piercing scream fills his ears, and yes, the murderer managed to find more victims to dismember.

He feels a nudge on his arm and he tilts his head up. Jeno stared at him, in the dim light, he could see his lips are cracked up in amusement. “Are you okay?” He whispers. “You’re shaking.”

Only when it’s mentioned he found he's indeed trembling with fear, and he winces with a small jerk when manic laughter plays out. Jeno looks at him incredulously.

“Are you scared of the movie? This is… this is like a B-rated movie at best.” He whispers.

Renjun furrows his brows tightly, what does he care or know about ratings. The movie is scary but the people that’s watching it… is even more terrifying.

“I’m going to throw up if I watch another second of this.” He says in a hushed tone. Jeno looks at them like he’s joking.

“There’s still an hour and a half to go.” Jeno softly stares. There’s an ‘shh’ in the background and Jeno stops talking, his attention back on the screen though he still turns to look at Renjun in amused concern at times.

There’s not much to do but nibble on popcorn when he’s already given up looking at the screen. At least he could straighten his back when the killer has to flee when the cops arrive, giving him about 15 minutes to compose himself.

The second scare comes too soon, too repulsive, and absolutely impossible for Renjun not to react as the possessed human sheds his decayed human form and reveals itself as an image of a demon.

There are so many errors in that scene, because demons.. or originally daemons, are benevolent deities that are unlike gods or humans, and they work as guiding spirits in both realms. But history progressed and Christianity happened, and by the Byzantine period they have viewed daemons as demons, demented and evil souls under Satan to spread evil.

He would also go on to discuss how Hades have been absolutely unhappy all these years with the false portrayal of the underworld and the fabrication of the Satan dude, but he would leave that for another day. Particularly because he’s scared out of his wits when the demon hunts for a new human to possess, this time a woman. Add it with a particularly horrifying death and Renjun can’t stop himself from shrinking into his seat and reach out for something, anything to calm the beating of his heart. He sinks his nails into Jeno’s arm and buries his face into his shoulder without hesitation. Jeno recoils and prods at him incessantly, and Renjun curls his hands even tighter.

“Ow ow ow,” Jeno whimpers, trying to pry Renjun off. “My shoulder... It fucking hurts!” He whispers, a grimace scrunching up his face.

Renjun weakens his hold just so slightly and Jeno sighs out relieved. 

“You should have told us if you’re scared of this type of movie,” Jeno’s voice reverberates, the vibration of his voice a soothing distraction. “A cartoon movie might have been better.” He snickers. Renjun’s head rises up and in the proximity, he could see Jeno’s eyes glint teasingly. He pinches him on his skin in retaliation.

“Ow okay okay, sorry.” Jeno laughs inaudibly.

In this new arrangement, he finds it easier to endure the movie; he would hide his face in Jeno’s side when gruesome scenes appear, and Jeno would alternate between patting him lightly on his head or squeezing his arms in comfort.

When the demon eventually gets defeated and the credits rolled he finally extracts himself from Jeno. Being scared is also pretty exhausting. He just wants to slam his face on his bed right now.

“Come on, scaredy-cat.” Jeno grunts, his hand outstretched for Renjun.

Renjun shoots daggers at him but still takes it. Jeno pulls him up, a chuckle escaping his lips when he ruffles his hair fondly.

“So cute,” Jeno mutters, but Renjun doesn’t hear him exactly when the theater is drowned with the pounding and sonorous bass of the credits song coming from the speakers.

“You said something?” Renjun asks when they are out of the theater.

“Nope.” Jeno says, a secretive smile on his face.

Ψ

The bell ring signals the end of the exams semester and the start of the long-awaited vacation, and all the students left the campus to catch up on their overdue sleep debt and crippling social life.

Meanwhile, they have decided to celebrate the start of the vacation by visiting a club downtown. Sans Renjun's opinion of course.

“Do I have to wear this?” Renjun sulks when he sees the clothes Jaemin has picked for him. “I prefer my clothes.”

“Your loose-fitting clothes do not belong in a club, Renjun ah.” Jaemin pulls a shirt from the pile and drapes it on Renjun’s chest.

“I just want to stay home,” Renjun mumbles, but Jaemin hears. He always hears.

“School’s over and you just want to stay home.” Jaemin nags, “Perhaps you're actually an old grandpa inside this body.”

He’s fairly certain he’s much older than all the mortals living on the planet. He snorts inwardly at the thought.

Jeno appears at the doorway of Jaemin’s room, the apartment shared between the two. Jeno’s wearing a black turtleneck with skin-tight leather pants, and the clothes fit Jeno so well it accentuates the curves and angles of his rather toned body. Renjun averts his gaze quickly when Jeno stares at him with his hands on his hips in exasperation.

“Why are you still in your clothes?” Jeno peers around and Jaemin shrieks an agreement. “Mark will be here any second.”

“Oh my gosh, I haven’t even styled my hair!!” Jaemin gasps as he makes a run for the bathroom. “Take over, Jeno. He only listens to you anyway!” He pushes Renjun over, and he sputters violently when he crashes into Jeno’s arms and at the statement.

“I don’t listen to anyone!” He protests, taking a step back.

“Come on, you don’t have all day.” Jeno grins affectionately and ruffles his hair. He directs Renjun to the pile of clothes Jaemin has pulled out for him.

Jeno closes the door for him to change, and Renjun frustratedly groans out loudly enough for both of them to hear.

“Brat!” Jaemin screams out from the bathroom.

-

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Renjun is his new favorite friend out of his group, coming in a close second after Jaemin, because the dude’s still his childhood friend after all. He earned that spot.

The fact that they originally knew each other first as potential matches have always stuck in his mind. However, Renjun has never mentioned or make any further comment about that, and since they are such close friends now, Jeno doesn’t think he should distinguish explicitly the kind of relationship they have… when there’s never been one other than just being friends. So he keeps the thought to himself.

Renjun comes out from Jaemin’s room minutes later, decked in a white shirt that he pairs with a leather jacket. He wears a sensible pair of fitting black pants and Jeno unconsciously stares for a little too long. He’s... stunning?

“I thought you’re gonna need help with your styling, but you do know fashion after all!” Jeno remarks when Renjun caught him staring. He wraps his arms around him… just to keep it casual.

Renjun aims an elbow back on his ribs. “I know how to dress!”

“Then why do you drown yourself in those baggy clothes?” Jaemin comes out of the bathroom, smelling too much of hair spray. Renjun rubs his nose delicately.

“I like wearing them, they are comfortable..” Renjun trails off.

“Well, I think you look cute either way.” Jeno says matter-of-factly. He finds it amusing when Renjun’s cheeks flamed, a quick retort to his direction about how “He is so not cute.”

That only makes his cuteness amplified by a thousand times, but he’s not going to mention that, for fear of another directed aim to his ribs. Renjun can be a real terror sometimes.

-

Renjun winces at the full crowd, the music, the air of debauchery so acrid he thinks he’s gonna barf.

Renjun isn’t a prude, he knows a thing or two about clubs and parties. He doesn’t have a positive impression of such places, because first links created are mostly due to lust and physical attraction. Meaningful relationships hardly occur in these places.

The group proves to be popular when Jisung loses a dare and had to dance in the middle of the stage. As if he would embarrass himself when he literally majors in dance. The crowd hollered in excitement as he breaks into an impressive freestyle of sharp moves and cool footwork that Renjun can’t help but applaud and cheer for as well when Jisung ends in a flourish.

The group receives drinks, lots and lots of drinks, from both men and women who come over to their booth in interest. Some enjoyed Jisung’s performance and wanted to come over for a congratulatory toast, but there were a few that were just outright seedy and in search of an easy target. For instance, this man who eyes Renjun hungrily, looking like a predator who has chosen its prey. “Here,” The man scoots over to Renjun’s side and passes him a drink. “You seem lonely.”

Renjun barks out a laugh and makes no response to that. He sees through the human and his wanton desires, and in a challenge, he stares him down as he gulped down the drink without batting an eyelid.

The man somehow takes that as an invitation to come even closer, reeking of heavy perfume and cigarette smoke. Renjun has enough of the slimy git. He snaps his fingers as a force of habit, but nothing happens. He closes his eyes shut in annoyance. He has forgotten that he has lost his powers.

He finds hands wrapped around his, and his eyes snapped open in revulsion, thinking that the loathsome man has made his move on him. But he was surprised when he finds that it was Jeno’s hands around his, pulling him up from the seat.

“Come with me.” Jeno says, shooting an icy glare at the man. The man darts his eyes back and forth unhappily.

The man thankfully doesn’t cause a scene, his eyes already in search of the next target. Renjun follows Jeno along as he finds an opening in the dance crowd and they slide past to the bar where’s it’s quieter.

“Are you alright? You looked like you were dying.. with the sleazeball back there.” Jeno shouts above the noise.

“He only offered a drink, that’s all.” Renjun says, his head resting on his hand.

“And you drank it?”

Renjun nods simply, and that earns an incredulous stare from Jeno.

“That man could have spiked your drink.”

“I’m fine.” Renjun drags the last syllabus. “You have nothing to worry about.”

Renjun can see Jeno sulking even in the dim lights of the club.

“I can take care of myself Jeno.” Renjun repeats.

It’s exactly times like this; when it’s so frustrating to talk to Renjun. Having said that, it is hard to put it into words exactly what he’s so discontented about. The boy seems so utterly trusting and gullible of the world and its operations, yet on the flip side, he seems so unbothered that his mannerisms feel condescending at times.

Even when he shows concern and keeps an eye out for him, the dismissive and unreceptive behaviour Renjun projects when he has his guard up makes it difficult for Jeno, when he has already opened up about almost everything in his life. Maybe it’s just overthinking on his part, but that doesn't mean he's pleased about it.

“Is that right?” Jeno sneers, evidently annoyed. “Renjunnie can drink so well that he even accept drinks from strangers?” He crosses his arms, the alcohol in his system making him crabby.

He motions the bartender for a round of shots and he sets one glass in front of Renjun, his eyebrows arched in a contest.

“What are you doing?” Renjun asks, his head tilted, and Jeno’s heart lurches.

“Show me how well you can drink.”

“You’re so immature, seriously.” Renjun shakes his head in disbelief at the sudden provocation.

Jeno downs a glass immediately. “What are you waiting for?”

Renjun sighs and holds the glass up, clinking at Jeno’s empty one. “You’re going to regret this tomorrow.”

-

By the end of three rounds of hard liquor, the bar’s stacked with empty glasses. Renjun drinks the last three in consecutive order and observes Jeno’s pathetic passed out figure with a weary sigh.

Given an eternity of merry-making and wine drinking, Renjun, like many other gods, have too high of an alcohol tolerance that it can already be considered a superhuman ability.

“You’re still good kid?” The bartender gapes in astonishment.

“I’m good.” Renjun stands up without so much of a wobble in his legs. He heaves Jeno's shoulder up and wraps his arms around his waist for support, not forgetting to wave goodbye to the bartender. 

Ψ

Jeno gets roused up by the afternoon sun shining directly into his eyes. From the splitting headache and vomit taste in his mouth, he figured he must have drunk too much last night. Jeno finds a note and a glass of water on his bedside table, and he squinted his eyes to read the message.

_I’ve ordered some food, eat it when you guys wake._

_P.s. I won._

_Renjun_

It takes a few seconds for his brain to understand the meaning behind the message, and when he does, Jeno smirks reading the note. _Psh._ Who’s the childish one now.

He walks out from his room and rustles the rest awake after he cleans himself in the bathroom. They all woke up from various levels of hangover hell, all whimpering as they clutched their heads.

Jeno joined Mark at the table, who has already started eating. Mark looked the same as yesterday, and he remembers a beat later that he was their designated driver and therefore did not suffer from drinking too much. He pulls the lid off from the container, the soup still hot enough that it fogs up his glasses. He moans in happiness when the soup instantly makes his insides feel much better. 

“Remind me never to go to clubs with you guys again,” Mark complains, wiping his mouth with a tissue as he spares a glance at Jeno.

Jeno winces apologetically into his bowl. “Sorry hyung.” He takes a piece of kimchi and chews on it in slight contemplation.

“I swear, I’m not drinking anytime soon. Renjun’s a life savior. Where is he anyway?”

Mark makes a sound of interjection. “Oh boy, you don’t remember huh?” He says a beat later after seeing Jeno’s face.

“Remember what?” Jeno widens his eyes in alarm.

“You were shit-faced drunk! You puked all over Renjun, and he went back home in the morning to change after he washed and tucked you to bed. He’s such a _saint_ to tolerate your drunk clingy ass. I would have left you on your doorstep, in your dried out puke. And I would still be considered loyal.”

Bits and pieces of memory start to flash in his head. He remembers in horror feeling really nauseous on the ride home, Mark screaming he will end him if he dares to vomit in his car. He remembers snuggling his face deep into Renjun’s neck as he whines over and over again how Renjun never cares about him like he does, and the last memory is him vomiting onto Renjun’s shirt as they made their way up to his apartment.

“Ahhhh!!!!” Jeno shrieks out in anguish, throwing his spoon down in panic.

“Great, you remembered.” Mark comments as he throws down a piece of pork belly in his mouth.

Jeno’s face colours to the same hue as his kimchi stew and he hits himself on the head repeatedly in regret. “Why did I even drink so much……..” He wails.

“Yeah, why did you even drink that much?” Mark parrots purposely.

“Don’t ask.” Jeno cries.

“O-kay.” Mark responds apathetically towards Jeno’s suffering.

-

Jeno gazed at the opened chat on his phone for almost 10 minutes, the cursor blinking down at him. He sighed out and buries his face into the pillow. He’s deeply sorry and embarrassed that he had whined like a child and puked all over Renjun, but the more important thing is that he’s also very aware of the fact that Renjun has washed him, changed him… which meant he must have seen him in some degrees of naked.

He consciously touched his stomach, pressing on his barely-there pecks. He stares up despondently at the ceiling of his room. He should have gone to the gym more often.

Procrastinating no longer, he types into his phone and floods him with a series of texts.

**[Jeno has jam]** 1.13pm:

I’M SORRY!!!!!!111111

I REMEMBER EVERYTHING

I WAS A NUISANCE

Pls don't hate me?

Jeno’s almost fallen asleep waiting when he hears a ding and he scrambles to grab his phone. 

**[Renjun]** 1.37pm:

I will consider your apology

But don’t even dare call me if you guys are going to a party again

He snorts and types his reply.

**[Jeno has jam]** 1.40pm:

I swear I’m not going to drink for the rest of the year

Sober for life

Pls forgive me

**[Renjun]** 1.45pm:

You do know both of your sentences contradict each other right?

Jeno scratches his head dumbly. Oh right.

**[Jeno has jam]** 1.47pm:

Er I guess. Am I forgiven?

**[Renjun]** 1.52pm:

Hmm

**[Jeno has jam]** 1.59pm:

HMM????????

Ψ

The group gathers together again the following day, and they recount their crazy night with much amusement. Everyone in the group views Renjun’s with admiration when Jeno told them their little drinking challenge, though the reason for the game was conveniently undiscussed.

He’s snugged comfortably beside Renjun as they watched the rest play video games on the Nintendo. Renjun didn’t seem like he was annoyed or angry with him when he was talking about it, a thin smile on his face most of the time. He ventures by clasping his hand tightly into Renjun’s, a furtive look at his reaction.

“Are you still drunk?” Renjun mutters, an eyebrow raised in question.

“No, I’m not.” Jeno exasperatedly says. 

Renjun pursed his lips but doesn’t pull his hands away. They spend a few minutes in silence until Renjun speaks up again.

“I’m sorry too.” He mumbled out with a small voice.

Jeno draws circles in his palm absentmindedly. He finds he likes holding his hand. It fits so perfectly. “What for?”

Renjun fidgets in his seat, the topic evidently awkward for him to discuss.

“I didn’t know you had so many dissatisfactions about me,” Renjun offhandedly remarks.

“I… I know I can be seen unappreciative and aloof sometimes-”

“Sometimes?”

“Shut up. I just wanna say I’m sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings. I really don’t mean to.”

Jeno sits upright and stares at Renjun squarely, and the boy looks anywhere but him, his face flushed from the sudden attention. He could hardly contain his happiness when Renjun is so adorable when he’s embarrassed.

“I’m really happy. I don’t know why. I should get drunk again if that’s what it takes.” Jeno cheekily says.

“Don’t you dare.” Renjun shoots him with a glare and squeezes his hand forcefully. 

“Ow! Ok fine, fine.” He wails.

“I’m happy you’re here, with me. Us, I mean. Scratch that, I’m just glad that I met you.” Jeno says, sincerity in his tone.

Renjun looks at him with an unreadable expression, and he bites at his bottom lip hesitantly. 

“Me too.” Renjun softly replies a beat later. 

Jeno madly grins in response to that, his heart almost exploding with joy. It doesn't make sense that the bubbling happiness should persist even late at night when he drifts off to sleep. Yet it did, and he sleeps soundlessly, his consciousness disappearing with the faintest image of chestnut eyes swirling as he falls into his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed, but there were some parts where I draw from actual Noren moments. I just love them so much omgggg ok sorry im like.. so obsessed
> 
> Comment and kudos appreciated! ღ
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/dyoinjun) ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ


	3. Chapter 3

There’s a new arrangement in their friendship lately, courtesy of Jeno and Jaemin. That is, he’s going to their apartment more often than not, though he’s mostly compelled to.

He has to acquiesce to this concession so that he can shut Jeno up whenever he wants to come over to his house for a chat, a meal, or whatever reason he can cook up with. Jaemin just wants to be a part of anything that gives him the chance to irritate him. In his words, “Renjun is funny when he’s mad.”

Jeno’s in the bathroom when he arrives in their apartment, and Renjun places bags of takeaway on the countertop after Jaemin closes the door.

“Renjun! I’ve missed you!” Jaemin whines, purposefully draping his body on Renjun’s back. Renjun swats him off when he breathes in noisily on his neck. The concept of personal space is especially lost on Jaemin.

“I came by just two days ago. We also see each other in school every day.” Renjun deadpans.

“I know right? And I still missed you! Funny isn’t it?” He comments and makes a beeline for the food on the counter. “Fried chicken? Yum!”

Renjun snorts. Jaemin couldn’t make it any more obvious that he likes him around just for the free food.

He hears a click of the bathroom door and looks up unthinkingly, and Jeno comes out of the bathroom with his hair and torso still glistening wet, the towel on his hip tied dangerously loose. 

Renjun grimaces at the sight and puts a palm over his eyes. “Where are your clothes?!”

Jeno finds his reaction amusing and pads his way closer. He covers his eyes even more tightly when he feels Jeno’s presence.

“Haven’t you seen me naked already the other time when I was drunk? What’s with this reaction?”

Ugh, why does he have to remind him of that moment? It’s like he’s smelling the pungent stench of vomit all over again.

It was one of the worst moments of his life, coming in a close second of the day he learned he was to be banished down to Earth. He remembers everything that happened in graphic detail- the moment starting when Jeno projected puke on him as they made their way into the building. Mark took a long and hard look at Renjun’s aghast face and _helpfully_ stressed that Jeno would only be Renjun’s responsibility since he’s not going to stand anywhere near them. And so Renjun heaved Jeno into his flat, the puke mingling in the process, and it was absolutely disgusting and gag-wrenching to finally extricate himself out of his soiled clothes. As he slipped on any spare shirt he could find from Jeno’s room, he heard Mark’s cry for help, and he ran out to discover Mark holding Jaemin down when he wanted to climb up the bookshelves for absolutely no god-damn reason. It took approximately another 15 minutes of a game of tug-of-war with Jaemin until he goes quiet as exhaustion and the residual alcohol kicked in and knocked him unconscious.

Afterward, he recalled with a jolt that Jeno’s still in the bathroom where he left him, and so he scampered back, pulled Jeno out of his clothes, though he haphazardly cleaned, dressed and shoved him onto his bed right after. By the time he was done, there was a sliver of daybreak already in the skies, and so he fled hurriedly, desperate for the comfort and quiet of his peaceful flat. 

But sure, to answer Jeno’s question albeit in his head, it is impossible not to notice his body. He observed that Jeno’s much toner than he seems, and has a body frame he secretly envies when it is much more appealing compared to his scrawny one. Jeno indeed has a nice body considering the excessive amount of food he eats daily.

However, at that point, Jeno was a literal burden. And he was exhausted. So him being half-naked didn’t interest him in any way.

“Aww, are you shy?” Jeno beams, and he even flexes his body in a statement.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but your body... It only reminds me of how I had to scrub puke off your skin. And it was gross.” Renjun replies impassively when he uncovers his eyes. 

It was triumphing to see Jeno’s confidence evaporate in a second.

Jaemin guffaws out in deep resounding laughter and stomp his legs hysterically. “Fuck,” He spits, bits of chicken shooting out from his mouth in the process. “What are you going to do with your pecs now? Renjun thinks they nasty!”

Jeno groans out in chagrin and backs away for his room with his face coloured a deep red. “Shut up!” He shrieks, slamming his door close.

When Jaemin recovers from his bout of laughter, he warmly pats Renjun on his shoulder. “I’ve always thought you took rather long to warm to us, but I guess you’re just those tsundere types huh.”

“T-tsundere? What’s that?”

“Those who act all cold and blunt but turn out to be warm-hearted and soft. That’s what you are. You took such great care of Jeno, and as your second best friend, I expect the same when I get drunk the next time!” He giggles and goes back to his chicken.

“You wish.” Renjun retorts with a roll of his eyes.

He stares at Jaemin devouring the food, his mind increasingly centered on Jaemin’s words. _I expect the same when I get drunk the next time!_

He turns to view Jeno’s room, the door shut.

Of course, he would help out everyone, it’s reflective of his good and kind nature. That’s just the kind of person he is. There’s no denial in that.

-

Jeno may have a resting bitch face and gives off the impression he’s aloof and distant, but affections and skinship are a large building block in Jeno’s personality once people get to know him more closely. He categorises all his friends into this neat friendship scale constructed in his mind. The ‘Would rather touch Satan’s butthole’ to ‘hug you 4eva’ perimeters apply to all his friends, no exceptions. Jaemin is obviously on the higher scale, but he has to be careful with Jisung, the guy may just punch his face if he passed his limits. 

Renjun’s halfway, a steady improvement, all things considered. At this stage of their friendship, he discovers some of Renjun’s quirks, like when he gets really competitive in games and can become sulky when he loses, his face set in a pout. He also realized that the boy likes to twirl his hands and snaps his fingers absentmindedly, and sometimes talk with an uncommon vocabulary. Perhaps the major he studies have wired him a little differently.

“I’m glad Renjun’s closer with all of us now.” Jaemin states when they’re at their favorite burger joint after their classes one day.

“Yeah! I think he’s fun. I like that we’re hanging out with him.” Jeno says with a grin.

Jaemin sulks dramatically. “He better not replace my position as your best friend. I will fight him if he dares.”

Jeno barks out a laugh. “He will never, he’s like.. a different friend from you.”

“Different?” Jaemin echoes questionably. “How many different kinds of friends are there?”

Jeno gazes up in thought, increasingly self-conscious. “Well, I’ve never really said this out loud… Well.”

“Oh come on. Spit it out.”

“Well… We knew each other firstly as dates, and I just never seem to forget that fact about us. And…” His words tapered off.

Jaemin inches his head closer to scrutinize Jeno’s face, and realization paints his face several seconds later. “Oh my god, you want to date him.”

“But I like him as a friend too?” Jeno shoots immediately. He sincerely likes him as a friend, but at the same time, he’s increasingly more aware of the fact that he would be devastated if Renjun has a significant other that is… well not him. However there are just too many things at stake, and when they’ve only been friends for less than a year, he shouldn’t let his wavering emotions lead him.

“One question… how do you know if you like a friend enough to want to date them?”

Jaemin covers his mouth in shock, his eyes widened the size of saucers. “Lee Jeno, I can’t believe you’re asking me this. Haven’t you been to some hundred dates?”

“You’re making me sound like a harlot,” Jeno kicks his leg under the table. “You know my history. My relationships never last.”

“Okay, valid point. Maybe your emotional awareness just went haywire after all these years. Let me google this real quick.” Jaemin pulls out his phone and browses quickly. “Hmm, this list could work. Ready?”

Jeno signals with a hand wave to start.

“Is he the person you think about nowadays?” Jaemin asks.

“I guess?”

“No guesses, it’s either a yes or no.” Jaemin grunts.

“Fine. Yes.”

“Second question. Do you find yourself staring at him, or seeking his attention?”

“Yes.” A blush starts to form on his cheeks. Jaemin coos sickeningly at that, but makes no further comment.

“Do you imagine a future where both of you are together?” Jaemin questioned.

“What! This is too early to say-”

“I don’t write the questions, dumbass. Answer the question.”

“No,” Jeno grumbles. “But it’s just, I like the present. Whatever we have now. I don’t wish or want to be hopeful. It sucks when I-”

“Nuh-uh. No time for explanations!”

And Jeno soldiers on as Jaemin spits questions and more questions. The more questions he answers seems like a deeper revelation of his feelings, and it honestly scares him immensely because he has never been so hesitant and scared of the verdict.

“And we’re done!” Jaemin exclaims.

“So?” Jeno glances at his phone and back at Jaemin. “What’s the result?”

He didn’t even have time to react when Jaemin sends a fist flying that sends him back into his seat, and he rubbed his temple gingerly in pain. “Fuck, What was that for?”

“I can’t believe you’re really that thick. There’s obviously no final result after answering all the questions? Just be honest with your feelings, and think!” Jaemin shrills, frivolity went in his tone.

“I think… I’ve fallen in love with him?” Jeno gasps out at the realization.

“No points for guessing that, smarty pants.” Jaemin smugly replies.

Ψ

The best flower to represent him right now would be a sunflower, desperate and always facing the sun. At least that’s what describes him the best now, because if there’s anything Jeno does recently it’s taking glances at Renjun, secretly of course. As if ogling the boy will give him some respite for the thoughts running through his head when he’s the one causing it.

“Jeno, do you need something?” Renjun quietly says, catching Jeno in the act, without even looking up from his book. Jaemin snickers into his palm as quietly as possible, since they are in the library studying and the librarian is a frosty old woman who watches like a hawk.

“N-no,” Jeno mutters, extremely embarrassed. It’s difficult to focus on his notes when Renjun’s sitting directly opposite, his face in full view. He twirls his pen consciously, trying to calm the incessant beating of his heart.

There. The tell-tale signs that Jeno should have realised way before when he read an online article about _‘How to tell you have feelings for someone, and it’s not platonic’_ when he rustles in his bed and couldn’t sleep a wink yesterday.

Perhaps he also has a genetic disorder where his skull is too thick and brain too small to put two and two together. Granted that’s why it took him long to realize he’s catching feelings for him.

His heartbeat should have been a pretty obvious hint when it ridiculously quickens whenever Renjun makes eye contact. It doesn’t matter whatever kind of emotion it carries, because the shiny brown orbs always seem to pierce his soul into a thousand tiny pieces.

Jisung and Mark arrive just in time as a distraction from his study mates when he doesn't think he can bear another second of Jaemin’s pointed smugness and Renjun’s beautiful face.

“Yo,” Mark says, an octave lower when he sees the librarian disapproving stare. “Wanna hang out with Johnny, Doyoung and the rest of the seniors after? Johnny’s parents are out for the week and he’s having a simple boys night.”

“What the hell is a boys night?” Jisung retorts.

“It’s just code for a party, but he doesn’t want all the mess and ruckus after. It’s just people we all know.”

“No girls? Boring.” Jisung yawns.

“I’m 98% sure you’re gay.” Mark pointedly remarks.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the opposite gender.” He sticks out his tongue.

“Will Sicheng be going?” Renjun asks, and that is news to Jeno, who whips his head in his direction curiously.

“Yes, I think. Well, Yuta will drag him along if he doesn’t, so I think he most likely will be there.” Mark replies.

“How do you know Sicheng?” Jeno blurts out quickly.

Renjun gives him a puzzled look. “He studies History too?”

“You never told me you know him.” Jeno mumbles.

“Do I have to?” Renjun asks, his face set in bewilderment. Jaemin overhears the conversation and pinches his nose bridge in exasperation. “Ignore him. He got dropped on the head as a baby and still suffers side effects from time to time.”

Renjun took the opportunity and dramatically nodded in understanding, a sympathetic expression on his face. Jeno aims a book at Jaemin, but it misses and lands on the floor with a thud. He doesn’t recall Renjun ever mentioning he and Sicheng are acquainted, and that puts a sourness at the back of his throat. He takes a long sip from his bottle, and from his peripheral he sees the librarian striding over, and he remembers with a jolt that the book is still on the floor.

_Shit._

-

Johnny’s house is as remarkable as always. A 2-story terrace with the minimally designed interior, but fluffed up with the most up-to-date gadgets available. Most of the boys have already arrived as he walks in with Jaemin in tow. His eyes scan for Renjun immediately, who texted the group that he will be going to the party with Sicheng. He didn’t reply to his text. It was definitely not out of spite.

A smile tugged at the corner of Jeno’s mouth when he finds him. He gives a little wave at their direction in greeting; but Renjun doesn’t seem to have realised, still immersed in his conversation with Sicheng. His lips fall spectacularly into a scowl, the temptation to hurl something to their faces so strong when they are so chummy with each other. They shouldn’t be sitting so close together when Johnny’s 8-seater sofa is obviously spacious enough. He tugs at Jaemin’s sleeves.

“What?”

“Look at them.” He seethes out, head tilting to their direction.

Jaemin glances over. “So? They’re just talking.”

“Seems like flirting.” Jeno scowls.

Jaemin throws him a pained look and pinches his nose before dragging Jeno past the living area and to the kitchen. 

“Are you fucking serious? Yuta and Sicheng have been dating for the past year, why are you talking like you don’t know this fact?” Jaemin brings his voice down to a whisper when Jisung walks past with two trays of food.

“I don’t know!” Jeno throws his arms in frustration. “He doesn’t even look half as excited when he talks to me than with Sicheng. And they barely know each other!”

“Holy moly. Renjun can have a life of his own okay?” Jaemin shakes Jeno’s shoulder forcefully. “You’re being ridiculous now.”

“I know Jaemin, but I can’t help it! It’s like I have this magnifying glass in my eyes for Renjun after doing that stupid test with you. I get all sensitive and weird, it also drives me crazy!”

“You can’t go all psycho around him when you haven’t even told him how you feel. Be fair Jeno.” 

“I’m just terrified okay? Jeno whines, wringing his hands in a tight hold. “I don’t want our friendship to break down if I decide to ask him out and he rejects me. I don’t want whatever we have now to change. I don’t want him to leave us… me, do you know what I mean?”

Jaemin swore under his breath. He didn’t expect Jeno to confide to him, the conversation so brutally honest and private that he shoots his head up to see if there’s anyone nearby. “My god, you have to choose the worst place to tell me your deepest darkest secrets.”

“I feel better though.” Jeno sniffs.

“And I don’t,” Jaemin responds with a light punch on Jeno’s shoulder. “Keep this to yourself, get your act together until the end of the party. You can do this at least, right?”

“I guess.” Jeno eyes the beer on the countertop. “I so need this.’ He grabs the bottle and passes one to Jaemin.

“To your sanity.” Jaemin cheers, a light pat of support on his shoulder.

-

Jeno is hiding from him, he can tell. He can tell the way his glances fall flat, and that his sides feel oddly empty without Jeno’s constant company by his side. He’s sipping on his 3rd glass of wine alone. Yuta has pulled Sicheng away, perhaps to another makeout session elsewhere in this house.

He senses a presence; and he shifts around to find Donghyuck, the least likely person he expects to see in the party, sitting a slight distance away. He jerked up violently in astonishment.

“Hi.” Donghyuck mouths, a smug smile on his face. 

Gritting his teeth, he harshly whispers to Donghyuck, afraid someone might think he’s a weirdo talking to himself. “What are you doing here after 8 fucking months of no contact?!”

“Woah, your language! The mortal world has toughened you up, I see.” Donghyuck smirks, unbothered by the situation.

“Come with me,” Renjun says quietly, setting his wine glass on the counter. He makes a beeline for the bathroom and locks the door. He turns around and crosses his arms in disapproval.

“Miss me?” Donghyuck smirks.

“I hate you,” Renjun says, but his actions say differently. He pulls him into a tight hug, his eyes almost teary. Donghyuck rubs soothing circles on his back, and they stay in the same position for several seconds before pulling apart.

“What took you so long to visit?” Renjun whines, uncharacteristically of him, his voice resonating in the confined space.

“I’m sorry, I guess time really works differently for us up there, I honestly didn’t think it was that long.”

Renjun sighs out sadly. “When you’re here, everything is slow and arduous. A human’s lifespan isn’t even that long, but every day literally feels like a year.”

“The gods all miss you. We can’t wait for you to come back.” Donghyuck pats Renjun’s arm encouragingly. “The department’s a mess; there has been a dry spell in new love, and Aphrodite’s furious.”

Renjun misses this so much. The nostalgia comes back instantly, and he gnaws at his bottom lip to stop the floodgates from opening. “I’m sure I’ve left a manual for the department,” Renjun mumbles in a low voice.

“It’s just not the same,” Donghyuck says in a subdued tone. “The other gods’ roles are to assist your post in creating new relationships and sustaining it. Creating one with the how, when, where, why, et cetera, that’s your job. And no one has a successful track record like you.” Donghyuck explains, and it makes Renjun’s ears burn hot.

“What’s with you? You never compliment me.” 

“I can’t allow you to become all haughty around me if I compliment you too much… It wouldn’t be healthy, would it?” Donghyuck simpers, and then gives a once-over to Renjun. “But you look good! You’ve gained some weight!”

“Mortal food is mostly junk.”

“Give me a slice of pizza every day and I will be the happiest god alive,” Donghyuck licks his lips as he prods himself down on the bathroom floor with a yearning sigh, and Renjun follows suit. It’s somewhat pathetic for two gods to be hiding in a bathroom, albeit a well-designed and spacious one.

“So, how’s mortal life?” Donghyuck asks.

“Pretty difficult at first, but I’m more or less settled now.”

“All thanks to Jeno, I assume?” Donghyuck teases.

Renjun squints his eyes at the provocation. “It was mostly due to my effort,” Renjun maintains in a flat tone. “But Jeno and his friends helped of course. They are nice people.”

“Ahh.” Donghyuck injects considerably, a habit that Renjun has understood long ago to imply he has something more to say about the matter.

Renjun takes him time. He picks a stray thread on his shirt and flings it away. 

“I guess you have something else you wanna say?” Renjun gives in when he sees Donghyuck almost turning purple from suppressing himself.

Donghyuck coughs out, face visibly relieved. “Jeno has confessed that he likes you. Do you know?”

What. Renjun’s face instantly blanches. Renjun scrutinises Donghyuck for any hint of a lie but comes away with nothing. The smug confidence radiating from him is enough indication that Donghyuck spoke the truth. He has seen it from above.

To know that Jeno has kept his interest in him for so long… And that it has developed past mild attraction to grow into an actual liking for him makes him strangely happy for some reason. He quickly chides himself in his head, for it would be dangerous for this kind of thought to grow. He would have to cut those buds away, and establish more boundaries between them… because he has to protect Jeno. From himself, and his world. He cares too much for him to get hurt.

“That’s… wait. Shouldn’t you respect his privacy at least?”

Donghyuck shrugs non-committedly. “It concerns me when the one he likes is my best friend.”

“That’s what we are... we are also just friends,” Renjun says, though he can’t help but grimace at how it’s verbalized. It doesn’t sound convincing even to him.

“Oh really?” Donghyuck drawls.

Renjun gulps. He just can’t lie when it’s with Donghyuck.

Donghyuck shakes his head slightly in dissatisfaction with his answer and presses his index on Renjun’s temple. He gasps soundlessly as a flood of imagery infiltrate his mind. Renjun recognises the scenes, it’s a collection of the various times Jeno and him were together… just from Donghyuck’s perspective. 

It’s proof and more proof, there’s no denying about it. As the scenes run in his mind Jeno’s interest and liking for him got increasingly discernible. It was barely there at first, the small actions simply platonic. But as the scenes become recent there’s weight in Jeno’s glances, always lingering on Renjun for as long as he could. Even more apparent are his friendly touches that have shifted to touch more affectionate. 

But that’s not all that Donghyuck wants to show him.

The most revealing aspect of the memories, something that he’s forced to confront is the exact expression on his face. He carries them when he smiles fondly at Jeno’s jokes that always seem to fall flat. Even if he stares exasperatedly when Jeno pulls him into an embrace, the curve of his lips says differently. And no matter how many times Jeno has held his hand and he complains about it… he never actually refuses it.

Renjun doesn’t respond for several seconds. “What are you trying to show me?”

“Admit it. You like him too.”

“This will end terribly.” Renjun whispers.

Donghyuck narrows his eyes. “Injun, it isn’t taboo for a god and mortal to fall in love. You know that.”

“But I’ve never…” Renjun swallows, his eyes darting uneasily.

“You are afraid because you’ve never fallen in love.” Donghyuck answers for him easily. “But why does it matter? It is obvious that the feeling is mutual.”

He’s skeptical of course. It’s still his path to lead, his choice to make, and whatever Donghyuck sees, that’s just it. There’s so much to lose – their friendship, the boys… there’s so much at stake.

“But it doesn’t matter if the feeling is mutual. I’m not from this world. I have to leave him one day.” Renjun says, a sad smile visible.

Donghyuck contemplates on his words and pulls out a rose from thin air. He offers it to Renjun and he holds it gently. He puts his finger on a thorn, feeling the sharp pressure on his skin. “You could keep ignoring your heart and his feelings for you until your four years is up, but do you want that?” Donghyuck asks.

Renjun sighs and twirls the rose in his hand. Donghyuck scoots closer, clasping his hands around Renjun’s. “Love’s foundation can be frightful, arduous, and painful. But there’s nothing as courageous as that. You just have to follow your feelings and see where it leads you.”

-

Renjun leaves the bathroom after bidding Donghyuck a teary goodbye, and the God of Charms promised he will visit again soon. He walks out to the direction of the veranda, where the boys are milling around. Swift arms stop him in his tracks and he gazed up to see Jaemin, who makes a quick turn away from the group. He tilts his head up in confusion.

“Renjun, listen. Jeno’s drunk again.” Jaemin hurriedly says, and he doesn’t miss the incredulity on Renjun’s face. “He is spouting nonsense that I know he will dearly regret tomorrow, and I’m sparing him the shame of knowing everyone was present to hear it.”

“Where is he?” Renjun asks, concerned.

“He’s in one of Johnny’s spare bedrooms. He keeps wanting to leave the room, and I need your help to keep him there. It’s just… right here!” Jaemin says and he directs Renjun to a closed-door on the second floor.

“You’re the best!” Jaemin says and he scampers away quickly before Renjun can even say anything. Renjun lets out a long frustrated noise and warily opens the door, not forgetting to shut the door as he walks in.

“Renjunnie!!!” Jeno sprints to meet Renjun who almost got a fright at the sudden shout of his name. Air escapes his lungs as Jeno slams his body into a tight hug, the smell of alcohol on his breath. He makes a strangled sound when Jeno nuzzles his head into his shoulder.

It’s too early to meet Jeno like this when it was just minutes ago he was confronted with his feelings. It’s even harder to compose himself when Jeno is being clingy and hugging him so tightly. He raises his hands to pat Jeno’s head affectionately. “Why are you drunk again, human?”

He hears Jeno mumbled incoherently before he pulls apart. Jeno plods down on the bed and Renjun follows, laying down side by side, their gleaming eyes taking in the view from the glass ceiling. Only the moon shines down on them, the sky a dark void, twinkling stars nowhere to be seen today. Renjun wonders if Donghyuck is seeing them right now.

“I d-drank because I had a lot of things in my mind. Mostly you.” Jeno hiccups, his voice breaking. Renjun shivers when Jeno’s hand reached out for his, and they interlocked their fingers, an intimate moment shared between them. Words are at the tip of their tongues, but both are unsure, afraid to take the next step forward.

He is conflicted, worried, very afraid, but the truth is... underneath all the negativity there’s hope, anticipation and a yearning to experience the love he has created for the humans all his godly life. Renjun thinks about the rose, the love radiating in his heart, and he summons up the courage, perhaps brave enough to ask only when Jeno’s inebriated.

“Jeno, do you actually like me enough... to date me?”

There is a long silence that puts him on edge, his heart hammering against his ribcage. He feels movement beside him and flinches in surprise when Jeno rustles up from the bed and puts his body over his own, his elbows prop up beside his shoulders as support. He inhales sharply when Jeno pulls a stray hair away from his face.

Jeno’s eyes gaze down and Renjun experiments by running his tongue over his lips, causing Jeno to swallow harshly. His eyes instantly flicker back up, cheeks reddened when he’s caught for staring. Renjun feels his lips upturned; it is satisfying to catch Jeno’s desire for him; that a simple action has caused him so much discomfort.

Jeno’s body sways slightly when he closes his eyes in thought. “I was going to ask you the same question, but you beat me by a few seconds.” He mumbled.

Renjun smiles, his cheek raised. “Will we have the same answer to the same question then?”

In his view Jeno moves to close the distance between them, and he squeezes his eyes tight, his lips parted. He opens again when he feels Jeno falter, his elbow slipping from the bed. In such close proximity, it is apparent in Jeno’s eyes that the boy must have drunk too much. His eyelids are heavy and pupils unfocused, the alcohol overpowering his senses. Jeno closes the last inch of distance and their lips touched just faintly. A second later Jeno’s face slides past Renjun’s cheek, and the rise and fall of his breathing signaled that he has fallen asleep on top of him.

Incredulous at the turn of events, Renjun cracks up, his chest heaving from the force of his laughter. He waves up to the sky, Donghyuck must be laughing his ass out too right now. He squeezes out from the bed and tucks Jeno in properly, pulling the duvet to cover his body snuggly. 

“I do hope you remember you still owe me an answer.” Renjun whispers, taking in Jeno sleeping figure fondly. He would allow himself just once, sinking into his desire as he kisses Jeno’s cheek lightly. 

He glances at him one last time and closes the door silently.

Ψ

_He throws caution to the wind and makes a split-second decision. Closing in, he feels Renjun’s lips on his. He craved this so much, he wanted this all along-_

“Jeno!” A voice calls continuously, waking Jeno up from his dream. He groans loudly to whoever’s calling him, expressing his displeasure. He peeps out from his duvet and distinguishes Jaemin who has an equally annoyed expression on his face.

“What?” He croaks, his throat dry and irritated.

“What?” Jaemin squawks back spitefully. “You got drunk, and I took the opportunity to ask Renjun to take care of you, perhaps thinking something might happen in the room, but he came out within 10 minutes to say you passed out and he left the party after that. What kind of anti-climax bullshit is this?!”

“Stop shouting…” Jeno whines and he rubs his ears gingerly as he processes Jaemin’s words. “W-Wait, just give me a second to think.” He sits up and bends his head in serious thought. He remembers chugging down several glasses of beer, too stressed over his stupid feelings. He was on his fifth and it went down particularly hard on his empty stomach. He should eat something, he knows that very well; or he will get wasted too quickly, but the last sober and also stupid thought he had was to wash down the ickiness with another glass of beer. Jaemin found him terrorizing Sicheng at the counter, demanding the poor boy to give Renjun back to him, or else he would show him the deepest hell. Jaemin had to drag him by the collar, apologising profusely to a very befuddled Sicheng.

The last memory that takes shape in his mind is being swept away in euphoria, Renjun’s lips, and him passing out right after.

It wasn’t a dream.

He slowly touches his lips in a daze, and he finally makes eye contact with Jaemin. 

“I kissed him....” He says, open-mouthed.

“YOU KISSED HIM?” Jaemin shrilly echoes, his jaw hanging. “You finally confessed?”

Jeno shakes his head violently. “I only remember kissing him and passing out after, I don’t remember how we kissed. Oh my god, what if I force it on him when I’m shit-faced drunk?”

Jaemin shoots him with a repulsed glare, his head shaking in resignation. “I swear to god, Jeno, if you did, we aren’t friends anymore.”

“What am I going to do?” Jeno wails, his hands reaching out for Jaemin for some support. “Renjun’s going to think that I’m fucking playing him like some slimy git. And I’m not. I just haven’t found the right time to confess-”

“Wait. Let’s be clear. You are a slimy git. With feelings or not.” Jaemin quips.

“You’re never going to live it down huh.”

“Nope, because you’re an idiot. You deserve it.”

Jeno screams into the pillow. _Fucking alcohol._

-

He has a plan. A plan where he is going to apologize for kissing Renjun without his permission, actually confess sober, and then kiss him again only if Renjun allows him to. Jeno shakes his legs in anxiousness, re-evaluating his plan for any loopholes. Nope, he’s good… just for optimism's sake.

He texted Renjun that he was sorry for getting drunk again, and he promises him his favourite takeout dumplings if he would be so nice to come to hang out at his house. He replies with a simple ‘ok’, which admittedly worries the hell out of him because he doesn’t know if it is an ‘I’m coming over to beat your ass OK’, or a ‘Sure, I would like that OK.”

_Don’t overthink this. Just... Play it cool. Cool as a cucumber._

It also took him much effort to convince Jaemin it’s not like he’s a cheapskate, he totally can bring Renjun out for a fancy dinner date, but it’s just better if he approaches the topic in a more comfortable setting, where there’s no distraction and disturbance. He bids Jaemin a tense goodbye at half-past seven, the boy going over to Jisung’s to give him some privacy for perhaps the Most Important Plan of his life.

Any minute now. Jeno runs over to the mirror and gives his reflection a once-over. He’s wearing a simple hoodie and track pants, his hair combed up with a little mousse. _Okay, Jeno, you're awesome and don't look half-bad yourself,_ he tries to bolster himself from the panic threatening to spill out.

He hears a quick knock on the door and he sucks in a few breaths in quick succession, trying to calm the pounding of his heart. He opens the door and Renjun appears, standing on his worn ‘We come’ doormat, the letter L barely visible over the years. The doormat has served him well, though now it's a constant topic of puns-making for anyone that visits.

_Really now. Why is he fixating on his fucking doormat?_

“Hi.” Renjun cracks a smile, and his heart skipped a beat. How can he even appear remotely sane when he is locking eyes with the most attractive man, from the depth of his brown eyes to the gentle expressions of his face. He stared dumbly for several seconds, and the spell is only broken when Renjun breaks contact and coughs politely to remind Jeno he’s still outside at the door.

“I’m sorry, come in!” Jeno steps back for Renjun, and he puts his hands into his pockets sheepishly.

Renjun looks effortlessly handsome when he’s in a simple white shirt and faded jeans. He removes his cap to reveal his golden blonde locks, and Jeno’s in awe. He shakes his head and wills himself to focus. _Focus on the plan! His hair is nice… but that isn’t important!_

Renjun surveys the silent apartment. “Jaemin isn’t here?”

“I told him to give us privacy.” Jeno blurts out the thought in his head, without processing. He never does. He has to resign looking like an idiot as his ears flare-up in embarrassment.

Renjun sits at the dining table with an unreadable expression, the corners of his lips curved up just slightly. “Is that right?” He says as he opens the containers to reveal just-hot dumplings that don’t scald their tongues when they devour them whole. Jeno had made sure of that when he ordered them, timing the delivery just right.

He takes a seat beside Renjun and schooled himself into a guise of nonchalance, chewing a piece of dumpling, the silence between them almost suffocating. The tension is there, and gazing at Renjun’s eyes Jeno just knows with absolute clarity that they are treading on a very fine line, and any mistake would destabilize the fragile relationship between them.

“I called you here today, Renjun, because I have something I want to say.” Jeno starts.

Renjun looks up expectantly, his eyes inquisitive. 

“I know I’m always a pain in the ass when I’m drunk.” 

Renjun crinkles his nose cutely, and he decides he wants to kiss him on the nose too, right after his lips, of course.

“Indeed, you are.” Renjun agrees easily with a smirk.

“I know what I’ve done yesterday, and I’m so sorry about everything… I didn’t mean it, a-and I’m sorry if I’ve offended you.” He explains with a shaky breath.

There’s a fine crease between Renjun’s eyebrows, and Jeno wishes so much to smoothen it. “What do you mean when you said you didn’t mean it?” Renjun asks in a small voice.

“I wasn’t sober the whole time, and I remembered I tried to kiss you… It was fucking stupid of me... and it shouldn’t mean a thing to both of us. It wasn’t right, it was,” Jeno tries to think of a word to explain that the kiss shouldn’t count, because he wants to do it right, _properly_ , after his confession. He wants this for both of them because he is such a stickler for these things. It is important because Renjun matters a lot to him, so much so that his heart is going to explode in pieces.

“Meaningless, it was meaningless.” Jeno supplies. He spots the immediate hurt on Renjun’s face, the downturn of his lips as he sees him making sense of his words. Renjun puts down his chopsticks and pierces him with nothing but frostiness in his eyes. In a panic, Jeno puts his hand over his, and Renjun recoils, pulling it away like the contact literally burns him.

“Well, I didn’t expect your answer to be this, Jeno. I must have been mistaken.” He says, without making eye contact. Jeno blinks, confused. What answer? “Wait- Renjun, I can explain-”

“I think I understand you perfectly. I don’t need to hear it a second time.” Renjun spits out. He leaves his seat and retreated to widen the distance between them.

“Renjun, listen to me. Please don’t misunderstand,” Jeno tries, losing control of the situation, feeling like his plan has gone to shit. And he didn’t think a Plan B was necessary, fucking hell…

“I am telling you this because I want to make things right. I need to say this first.”

Renjun bites back the tears forming, and Jeno hates it so much when he’s the one causing it. He just wants to touch him, to console him, not like this when they are standing so far apart, like strangers.

“Well played, Jeno, well played.” Renjun snides, his face contorted in disappointment and anger. “I was right to be scared, to be fearful because I know how fickle-minded humans can be,” He grabs his cap to leave but Jeno stops him in his tracks. “Please, listen-”

“I didn’t realize what I said was meaningless,” Renjun says, his shoulders quivering. Jeno doesn’t understand a word he said, it doesn't make any sense-

“What did you say?” Jeno asks, his hands placed on Renjun’s shoulder to stop him from leaving.

“It doesn’t matter-”

“It matters!” Jeno raises his voice in frustration, his head in utter confusion. Renjun eyes him angrily, his hands still trying to pry Jeno’s own away from his shoulders.

“I like you, Renjun. I should have said this first, and there must have been a huge mix-up, but what was in my head all along, all night yesterday? No- scratch that, weeks?” Jeno huffs out hastily. “It’s to tell you I like you very much.”

Renjun stops squirming and stares up at Jeno’s eyes, searching for deception and trickery that could be hidden underneath. “You like me, but you don’t want to kiss me?” Renjun furrows his brows, evidently confused.

“What? No! I want to kiss you, but only if we establish what is between us, and I don’t think we did yesterday.”

Renjun’s eyes widen, and he appears amused, the anger gone from his face within seconds. “So you don’t remember how the kiss happened?”

“No, that’s what bugs me out. Come on, don’t leave me in the dark. How... why did we… you know, kissed?” He asks, aware of how close their faces are.

Renjun snorts out, a curve on his lips.

“But you said it doesn’t matter,” Renjun teases, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

“Renjun.” Jeno deadpans.

The way Renjun gazes at him intently, searching for answers for the questions in his head always makes Jeno squirm nervously. Renjun prefers to mull over the thoughts in his head, and Jeno wishes he could know what he's thinking in the pretty brain of his. _Let me in! I want to know!_

“I like you too.” Renjun says without preemption, his head tilted up cutely, and Jeno’s knees weaken from the confession.

He sighed tiredly, all his energy saped. “Can I hug you? I really need a hug. I almost blew this.”

Renjun nods with a snort. “Dumbass.” He chides him, no bite in his words. Jeno closes the gap between them, his hands circling his tiny waist.

“I swear, my plan worked totally different in my head,” He whispers, their breath mingling as their foreheads touched.

“Does your plan end with kissing?” Renjun ask, a faint blush on his cheek. Jeno’s eyes dart down at Renjun's lips, and he swallows.

“Yes.”

“Then it works.” Renjun leans in, and he presses into Jeno’s parted lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do hope you like this chapter, I had a fun time writing it :3  
> I was also crying my eyes out just being a part of the whole Noren v live episode.  
> sUCH gOOD WRITINg MATERIAL ugh
> 
> \----------
> 
> Updates might be slow for the upcoming chapters!
> 
> Thank you for all your comments and kudos!! ღ
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/dyoinjun) ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ


	4. Chapter 4

**-Eleven months later-**

Renjun awakes to sounds of the steady patter of droplets hitting upon his gaped bedroom window, the curtains willowing from the breeze. It wouldn't take long before the books and papers on his desk become soaked from the speckle of rain that bounces on the sill, but he can't bear to disentangle himself from Jeno when he is sleeping so peacefully with his arms enclosed around his body. Them cuddling together on the bed has become a common routine; only because Jeno complained he can only sleep if he has Renjun as his pillow of sorts.

He lay motionless with his fingers idly running in Jeno's hair, listening to the rise and fall of his breathing in tandem to the gentle beating of the rain. Rubbing the sleep of his eyes, he turns his head slightly over to see how his desk is holding up. It's unfortunately not doing so well when the wind accompanying the rain has become stronger.

He gently extracts himself from Jeno's hold, making sure he doesn't make a sound when he leaves the bed to shut the window. Pulling down his sleeve he dabs at the papers, and with a quick sweeping glance, he notices his calendar placed at the far end of the desk looking rather dampened.

He hasn't been using the calendar much because... truthfully it doesn't put a smile on his face counting down the days anymore. Turning the pages subconsciously to reflect the right month, it occurs to him that he's already at the halfway mark of his 4-year term.

Admittedly he has been procrastinating, delaying it as long as he could. But he knows, the longer he withholds the truth, the harder it will be for both of them. He has to tell Jeno about his real identity soon.

He still has time, he convinces himself. Just a bit more time.

His mouth splits into a wry smile as he recalls almost a year before; how he was quick to misunderstand Jeno, and how Jeno almost blew the whole thing up. But after that were Renjun’s happiest days, even days when they fought over small insignificant things that he has already forgotten. He’s so happy every day, and he loves him so much that it frankly scares him sometimes. It is not exaggerating to say Jeno is his favourite human. Favourite enough that he's willing to let him stay for long hours in his apartment, progressively even allowing him to stay over and sharing his bed. It's incredible to even think he would have someone to share a bed and cuddle with when he arrived on the first day of his term in the mortal world.

“Renjun?” Jeno croaks as he rustles, hands pawing around the bed. His eyes crack open when his search turns futile.

“What are you doing just standing there? Are you alright?"

"It's raining, and we didn't close the window before we slept."

"Oh," Jeno mumbles. "Are you done? Come snuggle with me.” He whines sleepily.

Renjun feels an inexplicable warmth, the fuzzy feeling a norm now whenever he’s with his... _boyfriend_. It took him ages to get used to the awkward term. It just wasn’t something he expected in his long godly life.

“Coming,” Renjun says softly and he dips down back to the bed and into Jeno’s outstretched arms.

He's never going to get used to the customary pecks on his forehead. He's never going to find better comfort than in Jeno's embrace when they go back to sleep, the warmth that radiates from his body making Renjun feel he truly belongs in this intimate and quiet space shared between the two. He closes his eyes to the sound of Jeno’s heartbeat and waits for the lull of sleep to take him into a peaceful slumber.

-

Nothing could prepare him for the day when he opens the door at the sound of the doorbell to discover Donghyuck and Chenle screaming ‘SURPRISE’ at the top of their lungs. He was extremely surprised if the screech of ‘AHHHHH!!’ was any indication.

They waltzes right in, forgetting the two large suitcases outside the door, which Renjun notices right away. “Guys? Why are there suitcases here?”

Donghyuck claps his hand in realization and waves his hand. The suitcases levitate across the walkway and lands gently in the middle of the living room. At the display of divine powers, Renjun can only sigh in envy. He missed how everything’s much more convenient with just a gesture of fingers.

Donghyuck pulls all of them in a hug, and Renjun misses them so, so much that he can’t stop the tears from falling on his cheek.

“Aww, you’re crying?” Chenle smirks, always stating the obvious.

“Shut up,” Renjun chokes and wipes the tears off. Donghyuck pinches his cheek affectionately, and the smugness on his face helped put the heartwarming sentiments to an abrupt stop.

“You guys still haven’t told me why there is luggage here. Are they things for me?”

“No, they’re ours.” Donghyuck and Chenle glance at each other simultaneously, and they snicker out in laughter. 

Renjun eyes them suspiciously.

“We are on a holiday in the mortal world until the rest of your human term!!” They screamed in unison.

“No way!!!” Renjun squeals, his hand flailing around in excitement as well. “You’re not joking?”

“We’re not!” They chortle, both of them stamping their feet in infectious energy, and within a few seconds they are jumping around madly, all three shrieking out in exhilaration. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say they must have shaken up the whole building with their ear-splitting screams.

“Oh my Zeus, I can’t believe this. How did you get authorisation for this?”

“Oh my half-god friend,” Donghyuck mockingly says, earning a slap on his shoulder. “We have been working so hard, and have never taken a break since centuries. We practically complained and begged our principal gods for a year before they even agreed to this.”

“Irene allowed this?” Renjun exclaims in surprise. “Wait… does she know about... um... me and Jeno?” He fumbles, which Donghyuck and Chenle automatically zero in, their eyebrows raised teasingly.

"Wow... Me and Jeno." Donghyuck echoes with a much dramatic effect. "How about you tell us everything about you.. and that little mortal boy first.”

“What’s there to say?” Renjun mumbles, his face flushed from their probing. “You can see everything from above anyway.”

Donghyuck makes a sound of complaint. “The thing is, Irene forbid us to use the sight specifically on you, saying how we should let you serve your term in peace. Besides, I have a job. I don’t stalk you every single moment alright!”

“Does that mean there’s really something between you two?” Chenle gushes. Donghyuck gasps, his eyes widen in recognition.

“Erm, yeah we are...” Renjun says, eyeing at the opposite wall as intently as possible. “Together.”

“Together as in, dating partners, or just fuck buddies?” Chenle asks, the question so befitting of the God of Cheeky Antics. Donghyuck roars out in laughter, his body contorting hysterically.

Renjun wishes the sofa can just swallow him whole. “Language, Chenle!”

“Hey! This is the current terminology used commonly in the mortal world. I’ve done my research!”

A long strangled noise leaves Renjun’s throat and he hides his face in his palm. “We are happy with whatever we are now,” his voice muffled. “We just haven’t… like.. have sex.”

He hears two loud gasps and hands immediately pries his open. Donghyuck's face is too near for comfort, and he glowers at him like he has grown another head. “It has been two years and you didn’t do the deed? Do you want to die of blue balls?!”

“My gosh, why am I talking about these with you two!” Renjun scoots backward to the end of the sofa. “Of course I will, just when I’m ready!”

“You are almost 500 years old, Injun. How ready do you want to be?”

“I’m 445 years old.” Renjun mumbles and both of them rolls his eyes in exasperation.

“Injunnie, look. We may not experience worldly desires up there, but we were once mortal. And when we are here for a long time, we can be influenced by the same mortal desires and needs, and sex is definitely high up on the list.” Donghyuck rambles. “And knowing Jeno’s history, he absolutely has no problem fucking you every other night.”

“He hasn’t even hinted or ask me about doing it!” Renjun squawked in panic. “We aren’t in a hurry!”

“My Zeus, you guys have issues.” Chenle eyes him sympathetically.

“I think it’s better anyway to tell him the truth before we proceed with anything serious.” Renjun tries to explain, wringing his fingers in a fluster. He would swear on Yunho that he’s not allergic or afraid of sex. Was it selfish or foolish of him if he wants to tell Jeno his real identity before they decide if they want to take their relationship a step further? He owes Jeno the truth.

Donghyuck’s face falls at the disclosure, and he looks like he wants to say something more when the doorbell rings. They are caught deer in highlights for a few seconds, and Renjun gasped in mortification. “Noooo, I forgot Jeno’s coming at this time. Can you two stay invisible, I can't reveal you guys, this is too sudden-”

“Of course not. We should be acquainted. Let him in.” Donghyuck nods his head encouragingly at Renjun’s panic-stricken face. “Just introduce us, it will be fine.”

Renjun gulps nervously, his eyes darting at the two gods who motions for him to open the door.

“Fine, but be as natural as you can. And be nice!” He warns them with a hasty warning before opening the door.

-

The lines etched between Renjun’s eyebrows are the first thing he saw when the door opens, and Jeno wraps his arms around him and gives him a light peck on his cheek. “Hey, you alright? You don’t look too well.”

“I’m fine! It's just.. my best friends from overseas are here, and they only arrived a minute ago. I'm just... still reeling from shock." He smiles thinly.

Jeno looks up to meet eyes with two of Renjun's friends who now resembles very much like meerkats, both eagerly waiting to be introduced.

“Jeno, this is Donghyuck and Chenle. We have been friends for a very long time.” Renjun introduces when they enter the living room. He shoots a glare at Chenle who looks close to saying something mischievous, judging from the twinkle in his eyes. He would know, Chenle’s well trained under Baekhyun after all.

It took Jeno a few seconds to remember one of the boys. “Hey! I remember you, you’re Donghyuck!”

“Wow, you have a great memory!” Donghyuck states, surprised.

“You helped a great deal when my friend, his name’s Jaemin, fainted in the cafeteria. I still haven’t thanked you!” With the mention of that incident, Renjun shot a glance at Donghyuck, whose eyes met his. _Tread carefully._

“That was nothing. Don’t worry about it!”

“It will be great if we can gather together for a meal, Jaemin always wanted to thank whoever helped that day.” Jeno gushes. “How long will you guys be here till? We can set a date.”

“Two years.” They say without missing a beat.

Renjun stifles a cry, mentally shaking his head at his friend’s stupidity. But Jeno only barks out a laugh in response, and he regards them with more apparent interest.

“That’s.. quite a long visit,” Jeno comments curiously.

Renjun shifts on his feet nervously, his eyes tersely darting back and forth at the exchange. Donghyuck doesn't falter, his composure still relaxed from the question. “Oh, we quit school because it’s just wasn’t for us. And then our parents were furious, so they threw us out," He pauses to shrug, and Renjun can only hope it sounds believable. "We decided to visit Korea to see Injun and find some gigs here and there.”

“Ahh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Jeno says.

“It’s fine! Injun’s going to take good care of us, isn't that right?” Donghyuck winks. 

Renjun startles at the question thrown at him. "Y-yes, yeah of course!" He says quickly.

Chenle beams, his eyes turning into crescents. “I think the following months going to be fun, don’t you think so, Injunnie?” He says, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Yes, it’s going to be awesome.” Renjun dryly says.

No, of course not. Who is he kidding? It’s going to be complete mayhem. 

Ψ

With Renjun’s friends bunking for two years (he initially thought he heard that wrongly) over at his place, Jeno realized with a slight frown that it meant he had to be more discreet when he goes over, and more importantly, he would potentially have lesser time with his boyfriend. All this time Renjun belongs to the same inner circle of friends as Jeno, but now that his friends are visiting for long, he’s worried he’s gonna have to settle with sharing time with them. That means he's going to see Renjun lesser.

Unfortunately, his guess was right. Though it doesn't seem like a big deal, it has been a record of three days that he hasn't met up with Renjun. Frankly, it felt like it had been a week. It's hard to cope without Renjun's presence, and he misses everything of him. He just got comfortable with their new routine where he can see him almost every other day, or when they decide to sleepover at each other's places whenever they feel like it, and best yet, having impromptu dates out of their usual meetings... It was perfect.

It's weird and absurd that he's missing him a crazy deal when it's not like Renjun's away for good. But he misses the smell of him, misses intertwining his hands and hugging the lights out of him, misses his lips, misses Renjun. Everything of Renjun, Renjunnie. _Renjun_. Shit. Now he's even mentally chanting his name.

 _Injun._ Oh right. Perhaps he should start calling him Injun.

His mind takes a swift turn when he remembers hearing Renjun's friends call him that. It's fine, they have been friends for ages and it can't be helped that he's not a part of it, and it's honestly pointless to be envious. Yet it doesn't change the fact that it is still fucking cute that his friends gave him a pet name. He sighs begrudgingly. Maybe he should think of a pet name for Renjun too.

He’s justifiably feeling sensitive, moody and fucking lonely, the apartment empty and dark except for the light coming out from the tv screen. _Pew pew!_ He shoots another enemy with his console and takes a bite of ice cream from the tub. He glances at his phone, and Renjun still hasn’t replied to his texts. He sinks deeper into the couch with a semi-permanent frown. 

He doesn’t react to the sound of keys and door opening, his eyes still focused on the game. A whiff of perfume and he knows it’s Jaemin who has come back after his club duties.

“Well well well, if this is an image of you I haven’t seen for a really long time.” Jaemin states and switches on the lights. He pulls the duvet cocooned around Jeno away and grabs the ice cream tub. He nestles himself in a nearby armchair and his eyes flicker over at Jeno as he puts a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

“You definitely didn't get dumped, or you would have bawled your eyes out. What happened? Why do you look so miserable?”

Jeno pauses his game and sighs intensely. “I haven’t seen Injun because he’s busy with his friends that came to visit from overseas.”

He's going to use the pet name. Whatever. He's going to invite himself into the group that uses that name, just because he feels like it.

“Injun?”

“His friends call him that.. and it’s cute. So I’m calling him that too.”

“Ugh, you’re so stupid. Love made you even dumber.” Jaemin gags into the ice cream tub.

“You know, his friends will be here for long, like really long. Two years!”

Jaemin absorbs the information and puts another spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. “That is indeed a long time. But what’s the problem?”

“They are going to be staying at his flat... and now he has his friends for company, I can't help but think I may have less time to be with him...” Jeno looked down uneasily and Jaemin blinks a few times, his mouth gaped open. Jeno squirms at the discomfiting silence.

“Aww, someone’s jealous of his boyfriend’s friends?” Jaemin says a few seconds later with a shit-eating grin.

“Fine, I am!" He shouts, admitting to it easily.

“Jeno, It’s plain as day that you two are totally whipped for each other. And I get that you may feel insecure about your place as a best friend, or boyfriend, whatever. But being together all the time, no matter how in love you guys are, can strain the relationship. And his friends, may I add, came at the most opportune timing. He must miss them, being alone in a country and all.”

“I’m always here for him. He shouldn’t feel alone? He interjects.

“Even so, you’re also his boyfriend. Of course, he has us too and we love him to death, but he must have missed his friends a great deal. They have known each other for so long, just like me and you. You know, the kind of friends that will always be on his side whatever happens.”

“So I guess you’re on my side?” Jeno laughs, his gaze turned warm.

“Duh.” Jaemin rolls his eyes. “But give it a few more months, and I might jump ship. Renju- no. Injun’s too adorable.” He guffaws and takes another bite of ice cream.

Jeno gives him the finger and crosses his arms, a thought in his mind. “Why are you such a love guru anyway? You haven’t been dating anyone yourself for quite some time."

Jaemin twirls the spoon in his hand points it at Jeno. “The thing is, my young child, I see things, and people tell me things. As a result, I know everything.” His eyes glints slyly.

“You’re so weird. Why are you my best friend?” Jeno deadpans.

"Birds of the same feather flock together, asshole." Jaemin snarks.

Ψ

No matter how many times he tries to calm himself, the thought of meeting Jeno’s friends today with Donghyuck and Chenle in tow has made him so jittery he couldn’t stop pacing around in his apartment. There are a thousand ways it can go very wrong, and all of them are due to. his. friends.

“Stop being a worrywart, Injunnie. You worry too much.” Donghyuck clicks his tongue in displeasure as Renjun paces back from the kitchen again. “I promise I will be on our best behaviour. But I can’t say the same for Chenle though.” He shrugs.

Chenle throws him a scathing look, his eyebrows furrowed in an accusatory frown. “Dude, how am I the only problematic one?”

Donghyuck throws out his arms, a loud gasp for intended dramatics. “You work at the Temple of Mischief, where the entire Mount Olympus know it is just a place for a bunch of unruly gods to wreak havoc, simply because the olden gods think the world needs to have a balance. You guys are this close-” Donghyuck emphasises with his thumb and index finger just a centimetre away from each other. “To having your own reserved slots at the underworld with the pandemonium you guys cook up with.”

Oh yeah, he forgot how much they bicker sometimes. He massages his temples as their spat continues, frustration etched on his face.

“We create mischief, not sins. There’s a difference.” Chenle glares, slit-eyed.

“Guys, we have a whole eternity to discuss the very foundations of the divine realm. Just not now?” Renjun flails his arms despairingly.

“Of course, I'm much more mature than him,” Chenle says as he joins Renjun. “I have better things to do than fighting with that God of Snobbery- oops. I meant Charms.” He smiles devilishly.

Renjun sighed in relief when Chenle’s hand is outstretched for him, seemingly as a show of reassurance. Renjun makes to grab it when all of a sudden, tiny swarms of spiders emerge out from his palm. He screams shrilly and holds his hand back, retreating as much as possible.

“Donghyuck was right! Your department’s the worst!” Renjun blurts out in shock. 

Chenle cackles piercingly, his body twitching from bouts of laughter. Donghyuck’s lips threaten to split apart, but he pulls himself together when he sees Renjun almost foaming at the mouth. The spiders disappear with a wave of his hand. He proceeds with slapping Chenle painfully on his back, and the boy whimpers out a cry.

“No powers.” Renjun seethes and squeezes Chenle’s hand as forcefully as he could.

“OW! Fine fine. I promise.” Chenle writhes in pain, and Renjun weakens his hold when Chenle puts his arms up in surrender. Clasping their hands together at last, Donghyuck mouths an incantation and they vanished in the twinkling of an eye.

-

“Travelling around for a god is so convenient.” Renjun makes a wry sound as they let go of their hands. They reappeared in a small alley that Renjun has located, just a block away from the hotpot restaurant. He hears a ping on his mobile, and he reads the text that Jeno has sent.

“They have reached,” Renjun says. “Let’s go!”

“So what are their names again?” Chenle asks conversationally as they step out from the alley, trodding their way to the restaurant.

“It’s Mark, Jaemin, and Jisung. Mark’s the oldest, and Jisung’s the youngest. Well, we look around their age, so your appearances should not pose as a complication.”

Chenle nods in understanding and his attention are immediately elsewhere, entranced by the peak hour crowd justling past them. The streets of Daerim-dong is truly a sight to behold. Chinese signs, traditional lanterns decorate the walls above, and the mix of Chinese and Korean can be heard from the shops and people as they passed. The neighbourhood has seen its share of crimes and shady characters, but that doesn’t deter him from going to the hotpot restaurant, a lucky hole in the wall find.

Though he has no memory of his past, Renjun reckoned he was perhaps a Chinese, or mixed mortal, judging from his name, his affinity, and preference for Chinese food, especially for hotpot.

“This place is coooool.” Chenle gushes, his eyes sparkling. Out of them, Chenle‘s Apotheosis* was the most recent, and after being a god he has never once visited the mortal world. Everything’s new to him, and he laps at everything like a curious puppy.

“Let's go, the restaurant’s just this way.” He says. The bell sounds signaled their arrival when he pushed the door, and the restaurant looks crowded, the spicy broth smell in the air making him salivate. The group’s already in view, and they waved excitedly for him. 

Jeno meets him when he’s halfway to the table, an endearing smile on his face, pulling Renjun straight into his arms. He reaches down to interlace his fingers immediately. “I miss you.” He whispers, his voice low and raspy that it sends shivers down Renjun’s spine. 

“It’s only been a week.” Renjun teases, and he chuckles when Jeno’s head slumps down pitifully.

“Get a room, god.” Jisung throws a piece of tissue at them. A glance at Donghyuck and Chenle takes Renjun back to reality, and he clears his throat.

“Guys, this is Donghyuck and Chenle, Donghyuck's the same age as us,” He motions to himself, Jaemin and Jeno. "Chenle is 1 year younger.” He recites verbatim. They worked on their profiles together and grilled them for days until both of them could respond naturally without missing a beat.

“Hey, my benefactor,” Jaemin hollers, calling Donghyuck's attention. “It’s long overdue, but thank you for helping me that one time I ever fainted in my life. I owe my life to you!” He pumps his chest with his fist in gratefulness.

Donghyuck coughs out a laugh. “It’s nothing! Just doing my part as a good _human being_.” He says with a teasing glance at Renjun, and Renjun’s jaw involuntarily clenches.

After they ordered enough food for perhaps a battalion, the staff arrives at their table with an array of ingredients. Plates piled high with fresh raw meat, fish pastes, and meatballs, including a wide assortment of vegetables skillfully placed on the table that should be creaking from the weight of it all. An enormous pot of hot soup follows right after, and they tucked in immediately, no time for banter. A clueless customer would think the group of seven was starved for days.

“Yo, so Donghyuck and Chenle, what course do you both major in?” Mark asks, starting the ball rolling. 

They have been through this, Renjun had taken it upon himself to make sure they have convincing backstories of their ‘human’ life. 

“I was a music major,” Donghyuck says between bites.

“And I majored in Management,” Chenle adds.

“I noticed you guys speaking in past tenses.” Mark chortles a laugh, his eyebrows up in question.

Renjun listens intently as Donghyuck explains their story; the exact one they told Jeno the other time. _Consistency is key!_

The expressions on their faces were mostly amazement. “You guys just upped and left?” Jaemin asks, his jaw dropped open.

“Yeah?” Chenle answered for both of them.

“Man I wish I have the dough to do that.” Jaemin pouts sadly. “I would have left on a plane this very instant.”

"But traveling around the world is simple for humans too, isn't it?" Chenle asks innocently. Warning signs blared in his head, and Renjun could see how peculiar the question sounded to the rest of the group when they gaze at Chenle strangely. He feels his cheeks turned hot.

Jaemin shrugs, "I guess if you're financially comfortable, yeah. But we are broke university students, so... it's not going to happen anytime soon."

“Say, how are you going to pay the bills these two years? There are so many expenses when you relocate to a new country.” Mark asks, an inquisitive question thrown at them.

The three of them dart their eyes back and forth, dawdling at this complication that has arisen because obviously, they haven’t thought much of the specifics and the inner workings of the mortal world in great detail.

“Well, we will find _work,_ ” Donghyuck naively explains, but it appears the group's just polite not to ask further, most of them seemingly still unconvinced. "But..." Donghyuck adds, and Renjun and Chenle listen with bated breath. “But Chenle… he's also rich?”

Renjun's eyes shifted to glare incredulously at Donghyuck. "What the hell are you talking about?" He mouths. Donghyuck shakes his head to dismiss him, the movement barely visible. _Just play along now!_ Renjun can only rub at his forehead in distress, beads of perspiration already forming. He supposes it can just be another new characteristic on Chenle's profile.

“Woah, that just blew my mind hearing you say it.” Jaemin burst out laughing. Someone has the bank to pull this off, what were you thinking Mark?” Jaemin rolls his eyes.

“It was a valid question-” Mark defends in the background, and Jaemin shuts him up by pressing his chopsticks on his lips. “Shh. Don’t talk.”

“Hey.” Jisung pipes up and takes a quick glance at Chenle who’s seating across him. “Chenle hyung, have this.” He picks a piece of cooked meat and puts it on Chenle’s plate. The gesture was not lost by everyone at the table as voices erupted across the table in indignance.

“Wow, for years Jisung has disregarded us and the moment Chenle arrives he pretends to be all mannered and polite, even calling him hyung.” Jeno slams his drink in mock anger. “I see what you are trying to do, you’re going to make Chenle like you so you can get free food right?”

Jisung splutters. “I do call you guys hyungs!”

“Yeah, only when you need something.” Jaemin side-eyes him as he swishes the meat to cook in the pot.

“My god this is so embarrassing.” Jisung puts his head down, and Chenle shares a quick smile with Renjun, both relieved that the small hiccup has passed over smoothly.

“This guy’s the same.” Donghyuck points at Chenle as he joins the conversation. “Most of the time it’s like he expects me to call him hyung. Preposterous.”

Renjun finally laughs in earnest at the banter thrown off easily across the table, and his body loosened in relief seeing his friends adapt effortlessly to the group. He turns his head to look at Jeno and realised he’s already looking at him.

“Why are you looking at me like this?” Renjun blinks, light enough only for Jeno to hear.

“I’m happy.” Jeno lightly placed his hand on Renjun’s thigh. He drums his fingers and Renjun tries to hold his gaze. “Because you are happy too.”

Renjun groans, his lips curved upwards in joy. “You’re such a sap.”

“Only a sap for you.”

Ψ

The frequent thought that pops out when he laid eyes on Renjun these days is... he has definitely used all the luck in his life, because how did he even found someone to love that looks so utterly beautiful and divine? Renjun always has an incomprehensible effect on him; the way his heart races when they share knowing glances, or the times they simply embrace and kiss his lips senseless. It's like he’s falling deeper in love with him again every time.

It’s just a week left to their first anniversary, and he has been in jitters, feeling anxious would have to be an understatement. It is his first since his past relationships never worked past that. He has been tearing his hair to find what people do on to celebrate their first-years. He googled to find answers like expensive dinners, commemorative jewelry, and commemorative sex… 

_Right._

Jeno has already known Renjun is never an affectionate person in personality, which he can make up for it in his place since Jeno likes to initiate the hugs, pepper Renjun with kisses, the like. He doesn’t mind that at all. In fact in the rare times Renjun does initiate contact, he is giddy with satisfaction, the intimacy even more treasured and memorable.

He has been taking the relationship slowly for his own sake as well because unlike the previous people in his life, the love he has for him feels special and very much different, and he doesn't want himself to be frivolous about it. Renjun's his own person, remarkably different from anyone he ever knows. Would he climb up the highest mountain and build a shrine in honor of his love for him? He totally would. So the culmination before _doing it_ is more important to him than anything, and he bids his time, fully enjoying their time just being together.

So it becomes this way, that when their makeout sessions get too heated up, their breaths ragged as they pulled apart to breathe, he would consciously restrain himself, stopping there and then. Even when he feels his brain would implode when he sees those swollen lips and the red patches of kisses he painted on Renjun’s pale neck, he still reined in, ignoring the arousal screaming at him to continue. Because he doesn’t want the sex to transpire so… insignificantly.

So Jeno settles for his own hands roaming downwards in the showers, or on his bed, as he chants Renjun’s name again and again like a prayer, his chestnut eyes the last image he sees before his mind goes blank white as he finally finds release.

But it's just not enough. Like the quintessential man who would succumb to the shoulder devil, Jeno finds himself not lasting much longer, the instinctive need overpowering his initial rationality.

Ψ

Renjun's book is opened, but he hasn't been reading it for the past hour, palm placed on the same page as he's distracted by the thoughts in his head. He removes his reading glasses and sighs inwardly, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly. He has been thinking about the right opportunity to tell Jeno the truth, and if he was honest with himself he has been mostly procrastinating. How should he even bring about the topic? Over dinner? Before they sleep? How about over a makeout session? Would that be better?

“Injunnie?”

“Yeah?” Renjun jolts and shoots his head up.

Jeno shuffles on his feet hesitantly. “It’s two more days to our anniversary.”

Renjun folds down the corner of the page and closes the book shut. “I see.” He answers with a small smile. He knows humans are big on milestones and meaningful dates, but since he has been around for centuries, anniversaries don't carry much significance to him. Besides, he has more important things to worry about, for example, The Truth™.

Jeno's face drops, sullen at his reaction. “How can you be so blasé about it? It’s our first anniversary.”

“I’m sorry!” Renjun shoots his palms up in apology. “I’ve never been good with remembering dates.”

“Yeah, like the time when I thought you gonna throw me a birthday surprise, but I waited the whole day in my pretty clothes and my hair styled. Jaemin laughed at me the whole week.”

Renjun crinkles his nose in a guilty grimace. It slipped his mind that humans have birthdays, and to humans, it is a rather important event to celebrate. “I was mean. And a bad boyfriend. I’m still sorry?” Renjun supplies with a tilt of his head, and he looks so incredibly adorable that Jeno's going to pass out. He shakes his head and focuses, re-channeling how butthurt he is.

“And that's not all! I wanted to plan the best birthday for you and make you feel even worse about yourself, and when I asked you for your birthday you said with the straightest face that it has already past.” Jeno walks up to Renjun with an exasperated expression. “You’re really something, Injun.”

Jeno pushes Renjun's legs away from the arms of the sofa, unceremoniously dropping down on his knees as he straddles between Renjun’s thighs. Renjun feigns a sigh and drapes his arms over Jeno’s shoulder. "I like you calling me Injun. It is weirdly hot."

"Hey, I'm still mad. I'm _so_ not feeling it right now."

“Fine. I’m indeed a bad boyfriend.” Renjun reiterates, their noses touching as he closes in.

“Uh-huh. You're definitely a devil in disguise.” Jeno adds.

“Oh, the irony.” Renjun snorts, his lips barely touching. Their eyes locked in a challenge, both quietly savouring the tension between them.

Jeno caves in unsurprisingly, his fingers brushing Renjun's lips. He drags his nail on the plump flesh and pulls down the bottom lip, revealing a row of teeth. Renjun smirks and teases him, deliberately brushing his teeth with a swipe of his tongue.

Jeno groans out and claims his mouth fiercely, his hand snaking below his shirt. He pulls him closer, their bodies touching; the insistence on his lips as he pushes his tongue in. Renjun moans as they deepen the kiss, his hands tugging on his hair. When they pull apart to breathe, Jeno’s heated gaze and desire radiating from his skin make Renjun decide to hold off from telling him.

 _Not now. I can't break it to him just yet,_ he thinks as he digs his nails into his shoulder blades to bring him back closer for another round.

“One more?” Jeno suggests, with a gleam of his eyes.

"You read my mind." Renjun whispers, relishing his dominance when Jeno whimpers in pleasure as he delves in.

The truth can wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Apotheosis: Glorification of any individual to a god-like and divine status, the divinization of a mortal.
> 
> \--------
> 
> Thank you to all my unwavering readers, and as usual, please feel free to comment and leave kudos!! ღ
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/dyoinjun) ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ


	5. Chapter 5

“Finally! The day you get laid!!” Donghyuck screeches, startling Renjun when he leaves his room. Renjun clutches his heart from the shock as Donghyuck's eyes rake over him from head to toe, and he whistles in approval. “I like your outfit. Very chic.”

Renjun looks down at his ensemble, a black leather jacket paired with a white graphic tee and the new pair of straight cut jeans that Donghyuck insisted he purchased the other day they went shopping. “Really? Do you think Jeno will like it?”

Donghyuck makes a face at him. “You could be wearing dishrags and he would still get turned on by it.”

Renjun doesn’t react to that, his mind preoccupied with the thoughts racing in his head. He only realizes several seconds later that Donghyuck has placed his hands on his shoulders.

“What are you doing?” Renjun scowls. “I’m going to be late.”

“Close your eyes!” Donghyuck barks.

Renjun stifles a groan and closes as directed. Just as he was getting impatient, he feels a light tap on his shoulder and opened his eyes, his reflection gazing back at him in a mirror that Donghyuck has procured.

He gently touches his golden blonde hair that has been skillfully styled, his fringe pulled to the side in an easy curl. There even seems to be color dusted on his eyelids. 

“I get the hair, but did you just put makeup on me?”

“Appearance is the simplest way to charm a person’s heart,” Donghyuck says. “You of all people should know that.”

“Right,” Renjun mutters absentmindedly, his lips set in a thin line. He remains rooted in the same spot in silence, nerves frayed to the quick, and with the anxiety bubbling over, he hastily grabs Donghyuck's arm in panic.

“Hyuck-ah, what if he breaks up with me after I tell him the truth?” Renjun says, his voice cracking.

Donghyuck purses his lips. “He wouldn’t. He’s too far gone in love to even break up with you.”

"How do you know he wouldn't bolt when he hears the story? He would freak out-"

"You're freaking out." Donghyuck disrupts him, his hands clutching on his shoulders to shake him out from his trance. "I have seen how he looks at you for Zeus's sake. Have some trust in him, will you?"

“I hope you’re right,” Renjun mumbles, exhaling out a nervous sigh.

-

At least he was correct to predict that their date would progressively turn into a mess of huge proportions. The fault doesn't lie with Jeno, who looks dashing and accommodating as always. It's solely himself to blame, hugely exceeding his expectations at being a nervous wreck.

Two hours in and fear has already coiled his mind like insidious tendrils, and it shows in his body language. He is notably withdrawn, his attention spent on prodding at his food. The last straw was him knocking over a glass of wine on Jeno when he's distracted, mind left in disarray.

“I’m so sorry!” He rises in a frenzy, snapping his fingers on instinct, but it doesn’t go away. He groans out at his blunder and grabs the tissues on the table, furiously dabbing away at the stain. The blotches only worsened. 

His eyes sprang up when hands circle his wrists tenderly, and he's forced to look at Jeno. He doesn’t appear even remotely angry, and he feels even worse, the guilt making the bile rise in his stomach and his heart clenches painfully. “It’s fine Injun, relax. I’m going to the bathroom. Don’t stress it out, ok?”

He shuts his eyes tight when Jeno places a light peck on his cheek, and his eyes follow him as he walks to the back of the restaurant for the washroom. Renjun takes a look at the half-eaten food and the wine stain blooming on the table cloth and shudders out a breath. He can’t do this. He doesn’t want to face it. Not here, not now.

He calls for the bill and flees the restaurant.

-

He doesn’t know how Jeno found him just thirty minutes later, pathetically sitting alone on a bench with a view of the Hangang. What a fucking coward he was to leave the restaurant without saying a word and effectively spoiling the anniversary Jeno has planned enthusiastically.

Renjun wishes Jeno looked irate, even better if his face is set in a frown perhaps, since he deserved all that. The guilt is eating him alive, and his conscience hammers unyieldingly when Jeno anxiously runs over after spotting him.

“Renjun! Are you okay?” Jeno asks, his face full of concern and worry. “I came out of the bathroom and you weren't at the table. Why did you leave? Did something happened?”

“How did you even find me?” Renjun's throat constricts, and he asks in a small voice.

“I called you so many times and you didn’t pick up, and I recalled I helped set up your phone. I synced the location app on your phone to mine, and I used it to access your location... I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done it, it’s totally creepy, I know.” Jeno rattles rapidly, but Renjun doesn’t understand whatever the jargon meant. He only understands Jeno’s apologizing. He shouldn’t. He should be the one apologizing, not him.

“Injun, talk to me, are you alright?” Jeno pleads, his eyes searching.

“I’m sorry Jeno.” Renjun blurts out, and tears start to fall uncontrollably.

Jeno eyes widen in alarm, and he pulls him in an embrace, his hands caressing his back as he consoles him softly. 

_He doesn’t deserve him._

“Don’t cry, what are you even sorry for?” Jeno says after a few moments when Renjun stopped crying.

“Jeno, I’m not who you think I am.” He sniffs out.

Jeno appears stumped. “Okay, who are you then?” Jeno asks gently.

Renjun opens his mouth to answer, but it all happened in an instant. His eyes glazed over as his mind seared white, and he involuntarily jerks forward and shudders as a flood of memories permeates his consciousness.

———

_A necklace materializes and falls gently on his hands. Renjun gently opens the seashell pendant and discovers that a delicate gold rose lays within._

_“Wear this necklace when you’re ready,” Irene says, the sentence cryptic._

_“Ready for… what?” Renjun asks._

_“Time will reveal everything,” Irene whispers._

———

He feels it first, the distressing shakes on his shoulder. He hears a muffled voice calling him from afar, and he focuses on the voice resonating in his consciousness. It's Jeno's voice, he would recognize that anywhere, and it pierces through the void he's engulfed in. 

In a flash, his mind clears, and the distressing screaming of his name jerks him conscious. He snaps his head up to look at Jeno.

“Jeno?” Renjun whispers.

“Renjun, you’re scaring me.” Jeno quivers, his brows set in a tight frown. "You were like... gone. Like your soul left or something. Please tell me what's going on, what's happening?"

“Come, follow me. There's something I need to show you.” Renjun answers, and he pulls Jeno along with him, ignoring Jeno's sputters of protests.

Ψ

A glimpse of Renjun’s face when he storms back into the apartment and Jeno following on his tail is enough justification for Donghyuck that he should leave the apartment. He has an inkling of what’s to come, and he doesn’t even try to spare Jeno from it, opting to disappear instantaneously, causing Jeno to gasp in shock when he witnessed Donghyuck miraculously vanishing into thin air. He rubs at his eyes and whips his head back and forth, but the boy is still nowhere to be found.

Today has been nothing but a series of unforeseen circumstances that leave Jeno reeling from it, his brain operating at maximum capacity as he tries to make sense of it all. However, the most puzzling though, was the fact that the way the events played out felt almost familiar, the confusion and chaos a déjà vu. He just doesn’t remember when he felt the same way.

He walks into Renjun’s room and finds him on his bed looking intently at a small wooden box. The box looks expensive, the lid encrusted with a magnificent pattern of gemstones and golden thread woven around delicately. Renjun opens the lid, and in it lays a necklace pendant.

Nothing about Renjun today makes any sense, why would he make his way back home just to look at this necklace? Is this perhaps the thing that he wants to show him? He's still extremely bewildered with his reticence and uncharacteristic behavior throughout the night. He can only wait and watch in silence, eyes glued as Renjun carefully touches the jewelry. He takes the necklace out from the box and wraps the chain around his neck, and with a slight exhale he clicks the clasp shut.

-

The first thing he senses is a surge of warmth, an inexplicable heat emanating from beneath him. The heat rises gradually, spreading from his legs to his abdomen, and it lingers in the core of his chest. A spike of heat courses through his veins, the tingling sensation flowing down to his hands and rests at his fingers. He raises his hand and turns it over, marveling at the golden hues that seem to emit from within, his skin turning almost translucent. The room is aglow with a golden light, and from his reflection in the full-length mirror, it's actually his whole body that is kindled and lighting up the room. It doesn't hurt a bit, the sensation welcoming and familiar. He remembers this. This is exactly how it feels when he receives divinity for the first time.

“You are glowing.” Jeno’s jaw hangs out in stupefied shock, taking a few steps back from Renjun. Renjun snaps his fingers, and Jeno's even more astonished when the action feels so utterly familiar. Tiny sparks appear from the tips of his fingers, and Renjun's soft lips stretched into a full smile, and he beams so wide at the outcome. His hand shoots up to graze at the pendant on his neck, and he lets out a short burst of relieved laughter, seemingly absorbed in some thought. 

“What the fuck are you?” Jeno blurts out, and finally, he has Renjun's attention. He paces over and holds Jeno’s hand gently, and he gulped nervously, looking down at the sparks from Renjun’s hands, but realizes a beat later that it doesn’t affect him at all. He finds the gold light illuminating around Renjun’s body ebbing away, and he finally sneaks a glance at Renjun. He musters up the courage to ask him what has always been on his mind. 

"Are you an alien?"

Renjun laughs and shakes his head lightly. “I’m not. But I’m also not human.”

Jeno lets out a shuddering breath at his statement.

Renjun holds his index finger up and crosses the space between them. “I’m sorry I’m not brave enough to tell you the truth, but I think showing you would be easier for both of us.” His fingers reach up to touch his temple, a dull pressure felt on his skin. 

“This wouldn't hurt. But.. you may need to brace yourself.” 

Jeno swallows harshly, eyes darting at Renjun's fathomless eyes looking back at him, and he squeezes his eyes tight, surrendering at the hands of someone? something? Renjun's identity is still an enigma at this point.

-

His mind drops to a state of oblivion for just a second before the most intense white bursts in his mind. He opens his eyes but he doesn’t see Renjun or the room. A rush of imagery floods in, and he shrieks in surprise. It's hard to discern if this is all happening in his head or occurring in reality. His arms flail wildly, grasping at anything to feel grounded at least. When he feels Renjun’s hand in his, he realizes that this is in fact, just happening in his head. 

He’s in an expanse of space, so wide that he can’t detect where it ends. A collection of scenes appears before him, and he recognizes them as clips of himself but viewed from an undisclosed perspective. It’s like… he’s being watched, kept in scrutiny. All the memories are when he met his exes for the very first time. He recognizes all of the faces, except for just one. A girl.

The older-dated clips fade away in wispy smoke, and only one memory remains, the same one with the stranger. In the blink of his eye, the image extends out without warning, causing him to stumble on his feet when he finds himself transported into the scene. He knows the place, it's the cafe near the campus that he goes to occasionally. He's staring at himself, sipping on coffee and conversing with the girl. But he doesn't remember being here, or the girl at all. Is this memory or image even real?

He freezes when he hears the familiar voice that he’s so used to, and he turns to see Renjun walking over to him in the scene. He doesn’t find the scene remotely familiar, the name _Yeri_ spoken from his mouth doesn’t even ring a bell, but the Jeno in the scene looks like he knows her, and quite well in fact.

He grows increasingly disconcerted when Renjun looked almost murderous as the scene goes on, an expression Jeno has never seen before and never wish to see in real life. His body jerks up in shock with them when he sees the rupture of lightning across the sky. 

“What’s wrong with Jeno?” Renjun demands, “What is he doing wrong you’re not dating him anymore?” 

What does he mean by that?

“Enlighten me, because I barely know you to be honest. We’ve only met, like _two_ times.” Jeno said, and his mind halts. When was this? Is this just a figment of his imagination? He's certain that this isn't of the future, but fuck, when exactly did it occur in the past? His head is splitting, and nothing seems to click in place as he tries his best to recall.

_Human!_

There's just something about the way Renjun reaches up to snap his fingers, and he just wants to understand what's going on, but it's like all the strings are cut, all the connecting dots displaced so that he has no way of knowing.

"I owe you the truth." Renjun's voice echoes suddenly, and then the answer crashes in, awakening him from a stupor he never knew he was in. Pieces form when Donghyuck materialized out of thin air, when Renjun gave him an icy glare and blamed him with an accusatory finger. He stands with the Jeno in the memory and watches as if in slow-motion, starting from memory Jeno's outburst of anger at Renjun and Donghyuck's retreating figures. He senses what's coming before he sees it, the apathetic way Renjun raises his hands, experienced fingers sliding across to create a resounding snap. 

A look at himself, the Jeno in the memory, and it serves enough evidence that this memory certainly existed. He looks at himself in the memory, his face slack in a trance, the unfocused eyes looking far ahead unspecifically, and the pieces in his head click in place. 

He remembers this memory now.

Ψ

He should be mad that Renjun has taken his memory away, but truth is, he isn't angry, just weary and exhausted that Renjun has concealed his identity and his abilities from him for so long. The name Yeri doesn’t stir any residual emotions in his heart, the memories that returned are simply memories of someone he doesn’t care for.

“I’m guessing you have a part in these visions?”

“They are my memories, and the last one's yours. But you already know.” Renjun comes clean, his face set impassively.

Jeno stares him hard, questions forming. “How? The earliest memories are several years old. I don’t even know you then.”

Renjun hesitates. “Jeno, this may sound ridiculous, but I am a god.”

Jeno looked at him like he grew another head. He barks out a laugh. “You are not serious.”

“I am!’ Renjun insists. “There’s so much to explain, but believe me. There is a Mount Olympus in the divine realm, and also the Greek gods. And I am the-”

“Wait, Greek gods? Are you telling me Greek mythology is real?”

“It is real!” Renjun raises his voice. “I’m a god working for Aphrodite.”

“Aphrodite,” Jeno enunciates, skepticism barely disguised. “What kind of god is she again?”

“Irene is the goddess of love. I worked for her-”

“Just stop, Renjun. You want me to believe all that? You major in Classical Studies, it’s so easy for you to spin this out.”

“I am speaking the truth. How do you think I can do this-” Renjun sweeps his hands up in frustration, causing all the things in the room to levitate into the air. A snap of his wrist is all it takes to summon a book from the bookshelf. It stays in the air, following a certain trajectory drawn by his fingers as it circles the room.

“Fuck! Stop these voodoo magic now-” Jeno shrieks out, his eyes wide like saucers. “This is- s-seriously bat-shit crazy. What the fuck!" He ducks when the book nearly hits him. "Fine, I trust you- just make it stop!”

“It’s not voodoo-” Renjun sighed exasperatedly, but he twitches his fingers and everything drops back down in the room simultaneously, the book returning to its original spot. “As I said, I worked under her temple of love, and I am the God of First Connections. I have been managing all mortals’ first connections for hundreds of years. The memories are the times I monitored you and your matches.”

“You are the- What?” He interrupts.

“I’m the God of First Connections.” Renjun whines.

“Okay, I’ve like a thousand questions with your title, but I’m going to save it and leave the questions for another day. So the memories. You were basically spying on me?”

“I’m a god, Jeno. We don’t spy, but watch over the mortal world.”

“Well, I personally felt like I was spied. Placed below the magnifying glass-”

“I’m sorry if you feel this way, I truly do.” Renjun paces closer. “But we have never swayed any mortal’s choices for our benefit. You see, a human’s life only submits to his or her fate and destiny. There are hundreds of gods working above for the sole purpose of guiding and protecting the mortal realm!”

“Okay,” Jeno’s gears turning rapidly. “If you are the God of First Connections, why did I failed so badly in all my relationships? Did you have a part in it?”

“Of course not!” Renjun widened his eyes at the implication of his remark. “We can never manipulate or alter the predestined path of humans. Decisions and actions solely are of your own doing. We have no part in that.”

“Why are you here on Earth then? Are you here as my guardian angel or something like that?”

Renjun gapes, his mouth slightly parted. He runs his fingers into his hair and sighs. “I came down to survey you because of your unsuccessful matches. I had to see for myself what the problem was.”

Jeno looks baffled. “So- Jaemin…”

“I had to control his mind because I need him to introduce me to you. When both of you saw me in the cafeteria, he wouldn't know who you were pointing at, since we never met. He wouldn't be able to recognize me. The fabrication I fed into his consciousness was slowly disintegrating in his mind. I couldn’t risk exposing my identity then.”

Jeno sucks in a breath harshly. “So you knocked him out with Donghyuck with your magic hands,” He waves his fingers aggressively, but stops quickly, a realization forming in his head. “Wait a fucking second. Donghyuck… and Chenle. They’re both…?”

“Yes,” Renjun admits.

“Fuck.” Jeno drops down on the bed at a loss for words.

Renjun could discern the spectrum of emotions playing out on Jeno’s face in the minute they passed in silence. It is never easy for humans to accept that there’s something much bigger at play than what they have always learned of the universe. This is why the principal gods decided to stay cautious and keep their existence a secret, the realms would never be able to function and co-exist in peace if the humans found out that there are worlds and realms unexplored, and even the existence of gods that have been ruling for eternity.

“Sit with me,” Jeno calls with a resigned look and pats the space on his side.

“You believe me now?” Renjun asks apprehensively when he joins him on the bed. He twiddles his fingers nervously, the action causing the golden sparks to appear again. Jeno nods and gazes at the flashes fading, and he reaches out to hold Renjun’s hand in his. “So it’s always you who have been matchmaking me all these years?

Renjun nods.

Jeno snorts out an unamused laugh. “You’re not very good with your job then.”

“Well, I facilitate the first connections and impressions between you and your partner, as chosen by fate. Whether the relationship works or not, that’s on you.” Renjun mumbles, too frank for his own good. He earns a slight pinch on his shoulder as Jeno shoots a glare at his comment.

“So… How long have you been living in your world?”

Renjun gives a soft smile. “Just 445 years.”

“Just 445 years?” Jeno screeches, his eyes widened. “You have been around for centuries!”

“Considering there are principal gods who have been around since forever, the ages of mortal-born gods can never compare.”

“So that makes you an immortal." Renjun nods in response.

“You won’t die, or age.” Jeno states, his eyebrows knitted together, and whatever are going on in Jeno's head is making him nervous again.

“We can be killed by divine powers or powerful creatures, but there hasn’t been a war on our worlds for many centuries… So I guess, yes. We are quite immortal.”

A silence lulls between them and Renjun gazes at their intertwined hands. He gives a light squeeze, aware that something is weighing in his mind. “Jeno?”

“So when I’m old and crinkly, you will still… look like this?” Jeno asks in a whisper. 

The answer is painfully obvious, but Renjun knows there’s something more implicit to the question, something deliberately unspoken between them. It is indisputable with his powers he will never age, and therefore will never experience the effect of time like humans. Renjun swallows and nods in response.

"Yes, that's how immortality works." He grimaces, his reply perhaps sounding sarcastic, but it's just the truth.

"I'm going to get so much flake when I'm like fifty and my boyfriend still looks barely past twenty," Jeno jokes, rubbing circles with his thumb into Renjun's outstretched palm. He gasps in realization, and Renjun peers up, eyes wary. "And when I depart from this world, will you escort me to heaven? Wait, that's too presumptuous of me, maybe I might end up in hell-"

"Jeno," Renjun interjects because he doesn't want to delay any second longer. “The thing is... I was sent by my principal gods to live as a human for four years as punishment for my mistakes… and I will have to return when my term is up.” 

"What are you saying?" Jeno stiffly asks.

"I will have to leave Earth," He hesitates.

_It's just Jeno that he can't bear to part._

"In less than two years."

There's a shift in Jeno's demeanor, the gaiety disappeared as his expression hardens. The guilt eats him alive when Jeno snaps his hand away as if the mere contact repulsed him greatly. Nothing he says could save this tense situation between them, and it doesn’t matter how he should have approached this, because the very truth delivers like a punch to the gut.

He has expected the most probable scenario; that Jeno would never forgive him, and with the way they are now, it is soon becoming a reality. In the minute the words left his mouth the fragile impasse between them is broken, and he flinches when Jeno rises from the bed in a huff, staring down at him with burning eyes, his teeth bared out in anger. “You didn’t think of telling me this earlier?”

“I didn’t know how to break it to you, but I thought telling you today-”

“Today is our anniversary, Injun.” Jeno snarled. “Did you think by choosing to tell me today it would be easier because you expect I would accept whatever shit you decide to let me know on our fucking anniversary?”

He feels the bite in his words, every word delivered to sting. He deserves it a hundred percent, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.

“Jeno, it isn’t like this-”

“You couldn’t even tell me with a straight face that our relationship has an expiry date!” He lashes, his face contorted in rage.

“I wouldn’t have to if I wasn’t in a relationship with you in the first place!” Renjun’s words boil out, and Jeno freezes at his words. _No, no, he doesn't mean it, he takes it all back-_

“Were you thinking of disappearing without a trace when your time is up?”

“N-no,” Renjun struggles to speak, but Jeno is fiercely riled to hear him explain.

“Are you just playing around with me... like those infamous gods in the old stupid tales that came down here just seeking for some fun?”

“Jeno. Please.”

“No Renjun. You disappoint me.” Jeno hisses, his nostrils flared. “I really like you. Deep down, I’m always afraid that this would end up like the others. You have no idea how much I hoped- wanted our relationship to last as long as it could. I wanted a future, with you.” Jeno says shakily, tears welling up. He widens his distance from Renjun and slowly backs out from the room.

“And you’re telling me I have absolutely no control how our relationship is going to turn out, just because I fell in love with an almighty god and therefore thinks his selfishness is warranted?”

Renjun stays rooted on the spot, his jaw goes slack when Jeno walks out, his inner voice screaming at him to run out and stop him before it's too late.

He doesn’t. How could he, when Jeno has every right to be livid? He deserves all the abuse thrown at him at the moment. He hears the slam of the door and the deafening silence that comes right after, and in an instant, he loses control and broke down in tears.

Ψ

If Renjun thought he can make amends and try again after their fight, he was sorely mistaken when he finds that Jeno has been resolute about avoiding him in any way possible. Renjun couldn’t find him anywhere around school or his usual hangouts, and no matter how many calls Renjun made to his number Jeno would not pick up.

He isn't stupid, it doesn't take much to figure out that Jeno wants nothing to do with him anymore.

It was painful and awkward in the immediate days that followed. Jeno would skip out from their meetings whenever Renjun’s around, and Renjun knows only too well that the group will eventually sense something is wrong between them. Renjun doesn’t want the group to be in a bind, which is why he keeps his distance as the days passed, vanishing away in secluded areas when he spotted any of them coming. He has also discarded his phone into the trash bin, never needing it anymore if there’s no calls or texts from the one he hopes to hear the most.

Jaemin managed to corner him two weeks later, suddenly appearing right after his class ended. Renjun walked out briskly, but Jaemin was persistent, begging for him to tell whatever happened between them.

It was news to Renjun because he assumed Jeno would have told the truth to Jaemin by now.

“Renjun ah, Jeno became weird and depressed all of a sudden. He only goes to class just because he has to. He doesn’t go out of his room, doesn’t eat, doesn’t do anything. You aren’t even visiting anymore. What the fuck is happening between you two?” Jaemin desperately questions, his hands wrapped in Renjun's arm in a tight bind so that he can't escape.

He feels wretched knowing he’s the cause of it. “I’m sorry Jaemin, we… We have broken up.” Renjun admits. He pulls his arm away and walks quickly, trying to create more distance.

Jaemin looks appalled. “Why? Can you- maybe forgive him?”

“Please don’t think he was at fault,” Renjun says at once, the implication that Jeno's to blame leaving a sour taste in his mouth. “I was the one who was in the wrong. I broke his heart. Jeno deserves better. I’m sorry, but I really have to go now.”

Jaemin runs ahead and stops him in his tracks. “If you know you messed it up with him, shouldn’t you try to make him forgive you? Why are you giving up so easily?”

“I don’t want his forgiveness, Jaemin! It’s better that he hates me because I deserve it." Renjun grits his teeth, steps quickening when he turns left from the passageway. He disappears instantaneously, and when Jaemin chased after him it was too late. The boy was nowhere to be found.

\- 

He draws up the binds of his window and discovers that fall has arrived in a spectacular fashion, the vibrant hues decorating the trees in gold and scarlet. He pushes open the window and takes a whiff of the air. He loves the distinctive smell of autumn, where there is a tinge of earthiness mingled in the cool air. Renjun stares absentmindedly at the maple leaves that fall delicately whenever a cold breeze comes to shake them off from the branches. His tired and bloodshot eyes follow the leaves as they dropped on the pavement.

If he could rewind time, he would do it in a heartbeat.

He hasn’t seen Jeno for a month now, and he wonders idly if the boy has moved on ever since his encounter with Jaemin. He thought time would make it easier, but it didn’t, at least for him. He still misses him immensely, every waking second spent thinking of him. His body yearns for the affections he has grown used to. The familiarity that his body is accustomed to slowly abates through time, but they always come crashing back when he sleeps. He dreams only of Jeno, his eyes, his laughter, his everything, and Renjun wakes up with the remnants of the dreams reverberating in his mind.

The dreams only make the turmoil even more unbearable, and he doesn’t dare to sleep anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you there would be angst :x
> 
> \------------
> 
> Please feel free to comment and leave kudos!! ღ
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/dyoinjun) ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ


	6. Chapter 6

He hears his bedroom door opening one autumn morning, and when he peers up from his duvet cover Donghyuck and Chenle are lingering by the door. In his blurry just-awaken vision, he can discern the apprehensive worry written in their expressions, such emotions on their faces he's already accustomed to in the past month he's been cooped up in the house.

There’s nothing they could do to ease his pain when they reappeared in their apartment that particular day and found Renjun crouching into a small ball, his teary face telling that something bad had happened. He wouldn't explain, choosing to remain silent and looking absolutely shattered as they hold his trembling body in their arms. He bellowed his heart out through the night, and both stayed by Renjun's side until the boy's cries abate and gradually fall silent when he drifts off from exhaustion.

The weeks after was torture; no matter what they do or say, Renjun wouldn’t leave the house or his room. He tapped on his regained powers so they were barred from entering his room in any divine way possible, and they could only wait until his energy is depleted. Everything they say fell to deaf ears, and they resort to using threats to make sure Renjun never use his powers to lock himself from them in his room ever again. He only gave in when they warn him that they would inform Irene of his current situation if he kept this up.

Also unbeknownst to Renjun, the two gods are still in contact with the rest of the group. As luck would have it, Chenle happened to see Renjun chucking his phone away when he walks past his room, and he picked it up inconspicuously. The parties decided to keep things under wraps since they learned from Jaemin and Jisung that Jeno has been taking it as hard as Renjun. They figured they needed time by themselves, and would come running back for each other when they have cooled. What they didn’t expect was that the couple would choose to wallow in their pity and mope around in sadness for so long, both stupidly oblivious to each other’s suffering.

They unanimously agreed that something needs to be done for them if they decide to do nothing but avoid each other, it’s clear that they're suffering because they still longed for one another. They would rather tolerate them hopelessly in love than the depressing empty shells they are now.

Therefore, they have devised a plan and are presently in Renjun’s room, trying to convince the boy to leave the house for the umpteenth time, but he _surprise surprise_ , is as stubborn as a mule.

“For the love of Zeus, can’t you just grant his wish? Today is his _divinday_ after all!” Donghyuck retorts, exasperation distorting his face in a deep-set pout.

The divinday is the date when mortal-born gods are deified, and gods would celebrate with other gods in a day of merry-making and festive celebrations. On the flip side, the more pessimistic-inclined gods at the far end of the table would ramble to whoever would listen about how the divinday also meant the day they ceased to exist as humans. _Deathday_ , they laugh morbidly, would perhaps be more suiting.

“You promised!” Chenle whines persistently. “You said we should all go out together to do something fun!”

Renjun presses his face into his pillow, the groan he releases muffled. He knows they are just trying to make him feel better, but he can’t muster any energy in doing anything that requires him to leave the house. “I know you guys are just trying to cheer me up… Thank you, but I really don’t have the mood for it.” Renjun tries to explain but Chenle cuts him off with a dramatic wiggle of his finger, his lips carved up derisively.

“Please, get over yourself.” Chenle rolls his eyes. “Today is all about me, and I won’t allow you to mope around in your self-pity on my special day.” He quips brusquely. “I know you are miserable, but it is not the end of the world. The world will never crap itself on my divinday anyway, I won’t allow it.” Chenle throws a set of fresh clothes at Renjun and paces out from the room. “15 minutes. You better come out looking like you smell of fresh flowers. You stink!”

His departure symbolizes that the discussion is over and that Renjun would be dragged out by hook or by crook. Knowing Chenle, he has no qualms in doing just that. Renjun drags his head up tiredly and makes eye contact with Donghyuck who hasn't leave his room, choosing to comfortably prop his back against the wall in albeit jarring silence.

“Where are we going?” Renjun mutters, throwing him a look of vexation, his lips curved down as resignation settles.

“You shall see.”

-

“The theme park,” Renjun says with scarcely hidden displeasure, the last place he expects and wants to be at. He glares unhappily at the balloon Chenle’s holding, a stupid rabbit face painted on it, the grin on the character appearing to mock him by every second.

He tears his gaze away from the balloon and scans the park in slight curiosity. The park proves to be popular even on a weekday, with groups of friends and couples forming most of the crowd. The death-defying attraction rides, game booths, and snack stores peppered across the wide expanse of space is admittedly quite a fascinating sight. Similarly to Donghyuck and Chenle, it’s also Renjun’s first time at a theme park.

Though it quickly got trying when the bustling crowd and cacophony of noises prove too much for Renjun who has already got used to the quietude and stillness of his room for the past month. An impending headache seems to be coming, brought worse by the scratchy music pumping out from the damaged speakers that are extremely jarring on his ears.

“How long are we going to be here?” Renjun grimaces when a child in their vicinity suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs when his ice cream fell out from his hands.

“As long as you need.” Chenle snickers when he points vaguely in a direction behind him. Renjun spins around quizzically, and nothing prepares him when he sees _of all people_ , Jaemin and the rest in the distance. His brain stutters in shock, warning signs blared out as the group walks over, and he recognizes the familiar figure farthest away from him. Instinct drives him to flee, but Donghyuck and Chenle’s arms already circle him tightly, restraining him down in the exact moment.

He gives them both a withering scowl and struggles to wriggle out from their hold, but it proves futile. “How dare you guys plan this... Ambush!” He shrieks out when he sees the group coming up close. “This is a mistake! L-let me go!”

“Listen, fool, this is your last chance,” Donghyuck whispers sternly. “How long are you two going to keep this up?” Renjun whines frantically and shakes his head with pleading eyes, his expression full of dread and despair of what lies ahead.

A coughing sound diverts their attention, and the three of them whipped their heads to the direction of the sound. His eyes automatically find Jeno among the group, and he flinched violently when he realized Jeno’s staring straight at him too. He shoots his head down automatically, an onslaught of emotions clouding his mind and he feels suddenly hard to breathe.

“Hi, guys!” Jaemin tries for a friendly tone. “Long time no see?” The question lays hanging, and the group all looked in various shades of discomfort. He still feels the same pair of eyes on him, and he keeps his frame hidden behind Donghyuck for some badly needed reprieve.

There's nothing but excruciating silence among the group, the situation turning more awkward by each second. Jaemin and Donghyuck shoot a look at each other, their faces moving animatedly as they silently mouth in a discussion. “This is unbearable.” Donghyuck moans and flails his hands in surrender. “I know what can help. Rides! Let’s go!”

“Finally!” Chenle screams, and he drags Jisung along with him, his rabbit balloon fluttering in the wind as he leaps to the direction of the attraction rides.

-

Trust Chenle to choose the most foreboding-sounding name of a ride. Renjun finds himself trapped in a long snaking queue for the Hades Underworld, a massive roller coaster ride featuring a 200-foot vertical dive and numerous bumps that promises the riders ‘a chill to the bones’ experience, or so Chenle excitedly explained reading the pamphlet. Renjun can't even feel afraid when he’s preoccupied with the close proximity of Jeno... when it's been so long that they have seen each other. The barricades for the line are quite narrow that the group had to queue in twos, and Renjun scampers to get in line first, anything to widen the distance between them. His plan was thwarted when Donghyuck elbows him away and pulls Chenle and Jisung with him into the waiting line.

Luckily for Renjun, Mark stays right by his side as the queue moves in a snail-like pace. To some, it may seem that Mark’s too polite to shake off Renjun’s hands around his arms, but it’s more likely due to Renjun’s desperate incantation that places Mark in a favorable _state of mind_ for him to temporarily depend on. He deliberately ignores Donghyuck’s questioning glances at him, choosing to look at the surroundings instead.

At least he can loosen up with Mark’s company as they queue for the ride. They would chat about anything that comes into mind, and Renjun appreciates that he’s just there as a friend, without needing to answer any uncomfortable questions. _With his spell, of course._

He absentmindedly listens to Mark recap his basketball match with his hyungs, pride bursting when he explained how his team beat Johnny’s team spectacularly. Renjun glances discreetly at Jeno who is standing with his back facing him, and with the close distance, Jeno looks sharper, the same set of clothes he has seen on him looser than usual.

His eyes travel up to the prominent hollows of his collarbones as Jeno turns his body slightly to face Jaemin in a discussion. He frowns, uneasiness at the realization that Jeno has lost weight in just a short period. Somehow he feels responsible for that. Maybe a small dishonorable part of him wishes he was the cause of that. That would mean Jeno still cares about him.

-

Jaemin pulled the shades up, allowing sunlight to flood into the room. Jeno whines and squirms in his bed; he only managed to sleep around four in the morning and it felt like he has just shut his eyes when Jaemin intruded his room.

Jaemin pulls the quilt away from Jeno's sleeping figure and hits him painfully on his bare thigh. “Wake up dipshit, we are going out today!” Jaemin screeches noisily in the morning on purpose.

“Leave me be, man,” Jeno throws a pillow at the general vicinity where Jaemin is, his eyes still closed. “I’m going nowhere.”

“Are you going to decline Mark’s call for a get-together?” Jaemin admonishes. “There are only that many days left before his internship next year, Jeno.”

Jeno splits open his eyes and pushes his fringe away. He blinks a few times at the light that is shining onto his face. He has been counting the days, though the measure of time has changed for him, quite pathetically. Today is... day thirty-two from the breakup. Mark would leave for his internship in the states… about two months from the breakup. He exhales out, lamenting the fact that everyone he loves and cares for always leaves him in the end at some point. And yet he’s always here, rooted at the same spot, his life unchanging and monotonous, never advancing.

“Where are we going?” Jeno sluggishly says.

“The theme park, the very place to confront your fears!” Jaemin squeals eagerly.

Jeno moans out in horror. His friends know he never liked the rides, vertigo experienced after the revolting rides making him dizzy and queasy for hours. “Can I not go?”

“Hmm, sure, but Mark would bitch about it for ages. And I would make your life a living hell, even more then what you are feeling now.”

A combination of pissy Mark and vindicative Jaemin is never a good idea in the long run if he wants his life to have some semblance of peace and solitude. He hauls his body up from the comfort of his bed and throws another pillow at Jaemin's face in retaliation, completely clueless of whatever was plotted _for him_ that very day.

-

He sucks in a breath when he sees Renjun at a distance after entering the park gates. 

Jeno knew Renjun was beautiful when he saw him for the very first time at the burger joint— it was the first thing that his mind was clear about. But at one point, the physical attraction for his looks started to fade into the background when he uncovers more about him, and he finds him utterly beautiful even in the littlest moments. Naturally, he would find himself gravitate towards him as his feelings grow. He didn't recognize it at first, even needing Jaemin's help to decode that stunted part of his brain for him, but it was clear to him perhaps from day one that liking Renjun comes instinctively and uncomplicatedly, simply because Renjun was the only one for him all along.

With how matters have taken a turn, his heart broken in pieces by the same guy that makes his life whole, he should consider slapping himself on the face when familiar longing bursts in his heart as he spots him in a distance. In truth, he has momentarily forgotten why he was angry and decided to avoid Renjun in the first place. He finds himself in a dilemma when he can’t control the happiness that swelled within him. He rearranges his face and stamps out the joy that threatens to spill; repeatedly telling himself that he’s still angry, still mad at the god who lied and hid the truth from him. 

He meets eyes with Jaemin, his smug expression telling that he has a part in this unlikely coincidental meeting. He pinches his arm hard in revenge and Jaemin recoils, his lips set in a pout.

“I should kill you when I had the chance.” Jeno seethes as they closed in. He can slowly see Renjun’s features from here, and he looked just as frustrated, his murderous expression causing Jeno’s lips to involuntarily turn up slightly.

“Look at your stupid face. You are happy, and you’re trying so hard not to be.” Jaemin says right on the nose. “Stop being stubborn and admit that you like him too much to break up with him.”

Jeno gives him a withering glare and shushes him. He walks at a slow pace, deliberately staying at the back. Though he can’t stop himself from focusing on Renjun when they finally meet, his heart leaps when Renjun makes eye contact. The other immediately looks away with a flustered expression, and the warm fuzzy feeling settled in his chest like it never really left. Maybe he should consider slapping himself now, better late than never, how just a look of Renjun can cause such a lethal effect on him. No, Jeno. Be consumed by anger. Think angry thoughts.

The angry thoughts sadly didn’t last when they made their way to their first ride. He would question his lack of resolution after, but for now, he lets himself feel awash with contentment for once. 

Ψ

“Oh my god. Mark so did not score the winning points for the basketball match, what is he even talking about.” Jeno mutters and rolls his eyes, just loud enough for only Jaemin to hear.

They are still queuing for the stupid ride that Jeno’s dreading immensely, his brain split between thinking how he’s fucked when he’s on top of the tracks and the other spent on being hyper-aware of everything about Renjun. Because he hates his guts. Yeah, he’s still very angry. Angry thoughts.

Jaemin snorts and crosses his arms. “So you were listening.”

“Mark was speaking so loudly. Anyone could hear.” He shrugs and inserts his hands in his pockets.

Jaemin sneaks a glance behind at Mark, who prattles on about his basketball match, but Renjun’s mind seems to be... _Oh._ His eyes are fixed on Jeno. Jaemin spins back around with a meaningful smile.

“Hmm, I didn’t know Mark and Renjun are such tight buddies.” Jaemin remarks, luring Jeno into his little plan.

Jeno’s brows tightened. “What do you mean?”

“He’s just behind you. Turn back and see for yourself.”

“I’m not turning back!” Jeno whispers hotly. “It’s just going to be awkward!”

“Fine.” Jaemin groans. “They are linking arms. Happy with what you’re hearing?”

A sideways glance at Jeno and Jaemin had to hold his laughter when he saw the boy looking strained, his lips pursed tightly in a thin, quivering line. Jeno’s so obvious with his feelings that he can’t help but pity him sometimes.

It was timely when a light melodious laugh belonging to Renjun rings out, perhaps the very last straw for Jeno's sanity. What happened after was unexpected, a definitive record in Jaemin’s book. His eyes bulged in incredulity when Jeno spun around and dragged Mark by his sleeve, a quick excuse about Jaemin needing him to discuss something important. Jaemin assists of course, like the best bud he is. He drags Mark into a discussion about the ergonomics of roller coaster chairs, giving Jeno a secret thumbs up when he moves to Mark’s place beside Renjun.

Oh, how love can make people so utterly childish and juvenile, Jaemin muses.

-

If Jeno plans to make him feel miserable and tormented as they wait in the queue in total silence it’s working, because if there’s anything Renjun wants to do right now it’s to crawl in a hole. The awkward air between them is so conspicuous they might as well have written _‘We have broken up’_ on both of their foreheads.

Renjun willed his heart to stop beating so hard whenever their shoulders are touching while they pace forward. Nervous energy holds him taut, and he flicked his eyes up to look at Jeno, who doesn’t meet his eyes even once, staring straight ahead at the queue in front of them. 

Donghyuck turned around to look at Renjun and he grins almost maniacally when he saw who's now beside him. Renjun tries for a look that says he’s absolutely terrified.

“Hi,” Jeno says suddenly beside him and Renjun‘s shoulder shoots up, a soundless gasp escaping.

“Hi.” Renjun recovers, not knowing what to say. They move with the group when the queue speeds up. He can almost see the platform for the ride now.

“How have you been?” Jeno asked the question so impersonal sounding that Renjun doesn’t know what kind of response to give. What would Jeno like to hear? What are they even now?

“I have... Not been well. To be honest.” 

A humorless smile forms on Jeno’s face. “At least this time you’re honest.”

“I have been honest with you, Jeno. I just couldn’t tell you who I am.” Renjun exhales out and looks at the ground. He kicks at an imaginary pebble. 

Jeno shrugs noncommittally, and Renjun’s so unused to this version of him, so reticent and reserved, unlike his chatty self. He’s definitely still mad.

“Jeno, how long are you going to ignore me?”

“I’m not ignoring you.” Jeno denies.

“But you are still mad.” Renjun states.

Jeno stared at Renjun, an inscrutable expression on his face. “Why are you making it sound like I’m the one with the full reign of our relationship?”

“You didn’t want to talk to me,” Renjun explains hurriedly. “And I called you so many times-”

“You didn’t even think it was necessary to tell me about your identity and the fact that everything about us is just temporarily. In your own words, you didn't feel I deserve to know if WE WEREN'T IN A RELATIONSHIP.” Jeno retorts, the last few words enunciated to sting. 

“That is seriously unfair-" Renjun sputters, his feet stomping irritatedly. "I am bound by law to keep my identity a secret, but I've never once lied in my feelings for you." His explanation doesn't seem to be enough when Jeno still has his arms crossed, his expression unchanging, and he runs his hand into his hair, unable to endure another second of them ducking around the topic. In an urgency to make him listen, he grabs Jeno by the jaw to look straight into those dark orbs, the action taking the taller man by surprise. “So, is this it? Are you saying you’re not going to forgive me for the rest of the time I’m here just because I couldn't tell you who I am?"

"Are you breaking up with me? Because…” Renjun stutters, working through his words under Jeno's penetrating gaze. “I still... I still like you very much. And there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you and miss you." Renjun gulps in air, lips parched at the reveal. "But... the choice is yours, and I will accept whatever decision you make.” Renjun finishes and drops his hand away, his cheeks flamed red.

Jeno’s mouth opens and closes dumbly, not a single sound of affirmation uttered. He wordlessly stares at Renjun, and his eyes dart up to the platform when he hears the roller coaster train appearing after completing a round, the brakes hissing shrilly as it stops. It is a menacing-looking 24-seater train, the sinister design of a deviled monster with its tongue lolled out at the front of the cars not alleviating the jittery nerves in any way.

Their conversation ceases just as they reached the end of the queue, and they find themselves sorted together for the two-seater cars of the roller coaster ride.

“God-damn, I just couldn’t fucking take a break,” Jeno gasps out finally when he’s seated at the booth, the safety bars pressed over his shoulder. He incessantly touches the seat belt, tugging it a few times to make sure it’s clasped tight. He groans out in despair just as the barriers around the platform are closed shut.

He squeezes his eyes shut when the operator presses the button, jolting with a start when the train jerks alive and picks up speed as it makes its ascent up the tracks.

In his peripheral vision, he could see Jeno fidget distressingly, his knuckles turning to white from holding the safety bars so tightly. Worry creases Renjun's forehead as the train climbs a steady height up the tracks.

“Are you scared?” Renjun shouts.

“Have I mentioned I hate roller coaster rides?” Jeno chokes out when the train stops as it reaches the top of the slope. The train tilts down at an unbearable pace, and Jeno screams out profanity when he finally sees the full extent of the roller coaster tracks. He's scared stiff when he sees the awaiting twists and turns of the tracks.

“Hold my hand!” Renjun says, a faint smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. Jeno’s eyes darted up and down from his eyes to his hand in painful hesitation. 

Just before the train jerks forward signaling the drop, he decides to make a grab for it, fuck his emotional state for once. His body lurches forward as the train dips down, and he screams his lungs out as he submits himself to the purgatory ride.

-

Jeno’s mind returns to him when he walked down the steps after the ride, his knees wobbly and throat scratchy from all the screaming. He hates roller coaster rides. So. Fucking. Much. He’s going to kill someone if someone mentions rides again.

Now that his heart is finally beating at a normal pace, the thoughts of Renjun’s apology came crashing back. It was on his agenda to maintain a semblance of animosity towards him, fuck caring if he seems petty. He has the right to behave like a petulant child, he would own it, print it on a plaque if he has to.

However, deep down in full honesty, and also perhaps to everyone's knowledge, he is still crazy for Renjun. He is led by the strings the boy has tied so complicatedly around his heart that he’s not sure if they will ever untangle itself. Now that he’s presented with a choice, he fails spectacularly, his heart swaying without control. He takes a glimpse at Renjun, whose hair is in slight disarray, his cheeks flushed cutely from the strong gusts of cold wind after the ride. He definitely should not be influenced by that.

Oh, and their hands are still clasped tightly together. He lets it be and feigns ignorance.

“That was AMAZING!” Chenle squealed as he skips over to Renjun, jumping up and down in exhilaration. The rest of the group fumbles down from the steps, and it consoles him that Chenle’s the only one that looked like he enjoyed the ride. Jisung looked like his soul has left his body when he joins, and he slaps Chenle on his shoulder. “Your screams are so loud that there’s a ringing in my ear!!" Jisung complains in a huff.

“Can we do another one?” Chenle pleads with puppy dog eyes, and Jeno shoots his eyes up in fear.

“No can do. I need a break.” Donghyuck huffs out, and all agree quickly. He takes a glance at Renjun and Jeno, his eyes traveling downwards to their intertwined hands. Renjun notices and lets go of his hold in a fluster, and Jeno coughs out awkwardly in his palm, ignoring the smug expression on Donghyuck and Jaemin's face.

“I think we should split up and cover the places we want to go,” Jaemin suggests too coincidentally.

“Good idea. See you guys later for the fireworks.” Donghyuck bids with a wave. He pulls Chenle with him, and they walked straight ahead without a second glance.

Jaemin smiles, his teeth showing and puts his arms around Jisung and Mark. “We better get going!”

“What-” Jeno says, but Jaemin shuts him off his fingers pressed on his lips. He pushes Jisung and Mark along, but not before they pat Jeno’s arms in support.

Jeno and Renjun could only look helplessly at their retreating figures.

-

Renjun is grateful that Jeno isn’t as aloof as before when they strolled the theme park at his suggestion. He has told Renjun to stop him if anything interesting catches his eye, and so he did. The phrase ‘Divine And Psychic Reading’ painted on the wooden sign directs them to a purple tent on top of a small mound slightly out of the way from the main attractions. Divination has always been somewhat a contested topic in both the divine and mortal realm, and Renjun has heard stories of humans attaining the foresight in various degrees of accuracy. He thinks it’s simply the work of sweeping coincidences and humans’ easy conviction of the readings.

They pushed aside the gaudy beaded string curtains hanging at the entrance to find a dimly lit space, the furniture rather mismatched in contrast to the objects and trinkets decorating the tent. The owner of the tent must have an eccentric and peculiar style, Renjun wonders to himself. 

There is a scuffle of movement at the corner of his eyes, and he discovers a woman adorned with familiar long robes, except its in maroon red. She is frocked in a similar haphazard ensemble like her tent, where her wrists are cluttered with numerous bangles. As she sways over in greeting, her extensive neckpieces shimmer in pealing harmony. 

“Welcome!” She pulls them both by their wrists, and Renjun grimaces stiffly at the iciness of her hands. Renjun peers over at Jeno, who seems to be polite enough not to carry the same reaction on his face. She directs them to the middle of the tent where a table is placed, and Renjun could recognize a selection of the different kinds of divination reading materials placed on the table. Renjun can’t help but snort inwardly. It’s just so, so much pretense.

“Coffee or tea?” She offers.

“Tea.” They both said in unison, and she pours them their beverages, setting it on the table in front of them. She then makes her way to her seat across them, her accessories twinkling under the candle lamp that cast a weird glow on her face.

“My name is Joy, and I can help you with your questions and problems you may encounter at this point in your life. What are you two here to learn about?”

“Maybe,” Renjun gestures his hand in circular movements. “Like a general read? I’m just curious about how er… divination works.”

Joy regards him intently, her eyes in scrutiny. “Are you a skeptic to the spiritual and divine? I can sense the doubt in you, young one.”

Renjun shakes his head slightly. “I know there are higher beings,” the knowing look on Jeno’s face not lost on him. “But I’m just… not very convinced in the methods or ways to derive prophecies of a person’s life. It’s… not very conclusive.”

The woman laughs, seemingly not taken offense at Renjun’s words. “I would suggest tarot reading then. I will interpret and read the cards you’ve chosen… however, it's up to you to decide how it can apply to you at your current state in life. How does that sound?”

Renjun shrugs, it doesn't hurt to hear what she has to say, he figures. He nods wordlessly for her to continue. 

Joy pulled out the stack of tarot cards and presses her palm for a few seconds, her lips moving in silence. “You first,” She puts the cards on Jeno’s hands. “Ruminate on a question in your heart as you shuffle a few times. You can place the card back on the table when you’re done.”

Jeno gazed down at the cards in his hands for a few seconds, and he starts shuffling the cards. He won’t lie, he’s curious about the question in Jeno’s mind. Something about him looking so serious with the cards, his poker face betraying nothing makes it even more inquisitive.

So Renjun focuses on looking at Jeno as he shuffles deftly with his slender fingers, the faint sound of card hitting on card the only thing he hears. He’s caught off guard when Jeno glances up, something unreadable in his gaze. Renjun steels his eyes in some kind of weird competition between them even when Jeno puts the cards back onto the table. They only break eye contact when Joy told Jeno to pick six cards from the deck.

Jeno picked them out from the pile one by one, and Joy flips the cards in a display. She prods her head on her interlaced fingers, reading the cards in front of her.

“So… do you have a question in mind, or do you prefer a general read?”

In retrospect, perhaps Renjun should have been taken this tarot card reading much more seriously. He should also have anticipated that Jeno would have no qualms in tormenting him, using whatever means necessary.

“I’m concerned with my love life. I wonder…” Jeno rubs his jaw tentatively, a cheeky gleam reflected in his eyes. “If I should give my current relationship another chance.”

Renjun glowered in irritation when Jeno inclined his head and look at him something akin to defiance, deliberately putting their relationship to the tarot test. Relishing in the fact that Renjun can only listen to the results with no part to play. It makes him sick… that he’s slightly turned on by that. What the flying heck. He really wants to wipe that smirk off his face.

“The first card here tells you how you feel about yourself right now. To get The Tower signifies change, and you are afraid of the sweeping changes or disruption. But change can also signify the opening of new directions.”

“Change indeed.” Jeno sagely says.

“The second card here; The Star, signifies you desire some good fortune, a bright and happy future. In the context of your question, that could mean you wish for a long-lasting relationship, but might encounter some problems to fulfill it.” Joy explained.

Jeno scoots his chair closer to the table, his head nodding fervently in agreement. Renjun’s so embarrassed and frustrated to witness things unfold not in his favor. Jeno’s clearly enjoying this way too much.

“What about this card? The Hermit?” Jeno points to the next card.

Joy sips on her tea before answering. A dumb detail to focus on when Renjun sees her lipstick stain on the cup. The cup catches his attention, a wooden spinning wheel on both sides of the cup, with thread woven around the brim. Rather interesting design to be printed on a cup.

“The third card represents your fears. The Hermit can be understood as you being worried about being on your own and helpless in the face of change. It also tells you to take your time, and warn you not to make any hasty decisions if you’re not ready to.”

“Aha!” Jeno exclaims loudly, fixedly looking at Renjun as he says it. Renjun rolls his eyes.

Renjun has already tuned out from listening, a patronizing gaze thrown at Jeno when he positively vibrates in conceited smugness. Something about the cup speaks to him, the design triggering something in his mind, but the thought has not blossomed concretely yet. He knows he’s seen this somewhere.

“Don’t worry, whatever conflicts you have, will conclude positively!” Joy finishes, and Renjun’s attention back at them, the readings finally completed.

“So, does that mean I should give the person I like another chance?” Jeno asked callously, and Renjun tightens his hold on his cup.

Joy contemplates his question. “Tarot cards don’t direct you to a yes or no answer. In the end, it's your choice to decide.”

Jeno has nothing to say to that, finally staying silent after he had his fun tormenting Renjun during the whole process. He rubs the brim of his cup absentmindedly, and Joy picked up the hesitation on his face.

“I’m certain though, that you already know the answer.” Joy commented, an acute gaze directed at both of them.

Jeno’s eyes involuntarily widen, and Renjun fidgets in his seat.

Joy keeps the cards back into the deck and puts it out to Renjun. “Are you still keen to discover something about yourself?”

Renjun looks down at the hand outstretched, and his hands move across the table to pick a card when his gaze lands on the cup again. The cup suddenly represents something… frighteningly enlightening, and the thought blossoms in his head when Joy momentarily catches his gaze as he looks at the cup and back at her in quick succession.

The Moirai. The three spinners of fate, their spinner wheel, and thread, painted on the cup.

It shouldn’t cause for great alarm, perhaps merely a design that the woman has an appreciation for. But when Joy pushes the cup away in a split second, the very action validates his suspicions about her identity. He stares unnervingly at the appearance of this woman, and something about her causes raw fear, sinking into the very depth of his mind. He remembers how icy she felt when she touches them briefly on their wrists.

Renjun shoots out from his seat, warning signs blaring in his head. “No, we’re leaving.” He pulls Jeno with him as they edged away from her. Joy doesn’t leave her seat, contented laughter bursting from her lips, her dissecting gaze freezes Renjun in his steps.

“Suit yourself.” She says, her eyes losing the warmth in an instant.

Renjun grapples with the resentment filling in his mind and his steps falter. In a quick decision, he pushes Jeno out from the tent, choosing to stay behind to confront the woman. The years of pent up emotions from being a subject of unjust ridicule and mockery has made him hardened and defiant in the face he suspects that belongs to the very divine beings causing the grave upheaval in his life.

“What would Zeus do if he knows you’re here in the mortal realm?”

The mirth in the woman’s eyes doesn’t disappear. “I'm just a woman. What business do I have with the God of gods?”

“You are the Moirai. Don’t you dare lie.”

“ _We_ could be, but you have no proof.” She- They spill, and it sends chills down to the very crevices of his body.

Renjun’s jaw slackens, his knees betraying him as it trembles. 

“What do you want from me? I’m but a lowly god. I have nothing to offer.”

The next second darkness engulfed them in dense smoke and Renjun rubs his eyes as he struggles to see, the woman's face barely lit in low relief from the candlelight.

“You only need to trust, and succumb to fate.” Their voice reverberating through the dark fog, and he didn’t even have time to ask what it implies when he’s transported down at the bottom of the hill just as he blinked. He whips his head back to discover that the tent has disappeared, the woman nowhere to be seen.

Jeno is by his side the next moment, stumbling in his steps. “Wha-?” He mutters, disorientated.

Renjun peers at the sign that now reads ‘Construction at work. Do not enter.’ 

Infuriation charges up in his nerves, and his hands clenched up into fists just as the first lightning slices across the sky.

“FUCKING BITCHES!!!!!” Renjun curses out enraged, shocking Jeno. He never heard him curse, ever. He's startled again when the sky responds to his fury, and a multitude of silvery veins flashes like a whip across a clear afternoon sky and thunder rolled overhead in a loud burst, the deafening boom almost violent to the ears.

The sky turned overcast with the first droplets of rain falling on their faces. Within minutes the theme park closes to a hasty stop.

Ψ

He didn’t know that a pissed Renjun is capable of consuming three slices of cakes and four scoops of ice cream in one seating. He files the thought away for future purposes as he sips his hot chocolate daintily, trying not to make a sound as Renjun is still fuming across him. He winces when the sky illuminates up in stark white, the thunderous boom following seconds right after.

Jeno pulled Renjun to a cafe when droplets started to fall from the sky. Luckily they were nearby and they managed to score a couple-booth at the back of the cafe, privacy much needed for their current situation. Jeno glances at the crowded cafe, where many others had also taken shelter from the weather. The rain poured down hard, each droplet beating down the roof in a cacophony of muffled splatters. 

It is in these freaky occurrences that remind Jeno that Renjun is a god after all. He pulls his gaze away from the sky which is a perfect mirror of the god in front of him.

“Boy... you’re breaking the hearts of everyone in the theme park,” Jeno comments meekly.

Renjun viciously stabs the spoon into his ice cream. “What do you mean?”

“Because you’re angry, and you made the weather turned ape-shit. Now everyone is drenched, cold and miserable and the rides are all closed.”

Renjun gives him the cold shoulder, focusing on chomping down his ice cream as forcefully as possible. Nevertheless, Jeno knows the guy’s already mulling over the consequences of his temper in his head, judging from the guilt written on his face. He feels a vibration on his thigh and he draws out his phone to discover a few notifications from his friends, all informing that they’re stranded at different areas of the park.

He’s piqued when he receives a text from Renjun, but the boy is just sitting across him, though he realized the boy has never taken his phone out the whole time.

**[Renjun]** 1.18pm:

This is Donghyuck, I have Renjun’s phone… because he threw it in the trash

But that is unimportant

We know Renjun is pissed mad

Please don’t tell me you made him mad.

Jeno widens his eyes in alarm, and he bites at his bottom lip. There are several points in the messages that needed some addressing. Like what would compile Renjun to throw his phone, and fuck no, he didn’t anger him… not _exactly_.

“You threw your phone away?”

Renjun shrugs simply. “Didn’t need it.”

He swallows back the question that follows right after. He just has to accept the explanation, even though it answers practically nothing.

**[Jeno has jam]** 1.20pm:

He is angry... But I wasn’t the one who pissed him!!

He was probably mad at this tarot card reading woman?

His phone rings immediately after the appearance of the blue tick, and he passes his phone to Renjun who gaped at him questioningly.

“Donghyuck’s on the line.”

Renjun huffs out a breath and rolls his eyes, but still takes the phone from his hand. He leaves his seat, an apology whispered quickly.

Jeno observes the boy seemingly in a heated discussion over the phone, his face in a perpetual frown as he gestures animatedly in the air. He can’t help but break into a wry smile. It’s heartening to realize, at long last, they are meeting as their true identities, as a god and human, without any disguises and fabrication between them. Now that Renjun doesn't have to pretend anymore, this less subdued and brazen version captivates him. The affection for him feels even more pronounced and tangible. 

“What are you smiling about?” Renjun asked with a furrow of his brows when he passes his phone back to Jeno. He takes another bite of his ice cream.

 _You’re cute when you’re mad._ He internalizes in his head, but like always, his mind betrays him. "Well... Donghyuck didn’t think so... he told me to fucking keep it together." Renjun mumbles.

Shit, he must have spoken his thoughts aloud like a moron he is when Renjun blushes into his ice cream.

“I’m just trying to calm myself down. With ice cream. I'm already feeling better!” Renjun explains with a furrow of his brows.

Jeno panders if it makes him feel better; however, if stress eating worked the rain would have stopped pouring on his third round of cake. “Maybe if you talk it out, you will feel better,” He says, a tilt of his head in offer.

Renjun meets his gaze momentarily, the look conveying wariness and hesitation, the doubt discernable in his eyes.

“You can trust me. You know you can.” Jeno implores with as much sincerity.

“You really want to know?” Renjun whispers. “It’s going to be a long story.”

Jeno guffaws out and points at the overcast sky.

“We have all day.”

-

The story was certainly outrageously dramatic from beginning to end. He listened attentively as Renjun fervently explained how the Moirai played him and caused his eventual banishment to Earth. In his opinion, it was without a doubt a losing game from the very start. How do you even preempt from the mistresses of fate?

His first thought was to side with Renjun, support him by vilifying the ones that treated him unkindly, speak vulgarly of those that plunged his life into such a horrifying mess… How can anyone plot against someone who looks like a literal angel? How pitiful is his plight when it is already the 21st fucking century?!

His mind sways like the tide though.

The truth is... With every passing second of witnessing Renjun grumbling and griping about his wretched circumstances, he is also extremely captivating and earnest that he’s going to pass out from his endearing cuteness.

And besides, if he’s hearing the story right, he would then be indebted to the Moirai. How could he blame fate, when it was their plot that leads Renjun into his life? He daren’t question the intentions of the gods above, but if Renjun and his paths always seem to intertwine, he can safely hazard a guess that the Moirai had a part in it.

He tries to look sympathetic. He swears to gods did. It’s just the smirk on his face that doesn’t seem to fade off the whole time when Renjun finishes his story.

Renjun narrows his eyes to slits when he realizes. “You don’t seem very sympathetic to my predicament.”

Jeno clears his throat and scratches his temples. “I feel bad for you. I really do.”

Renjun crosses his arms. “No, you don’t.”

Jeno sighs eventually, running his hand through his hair. “Okay, you know what? I don’t.”

“You’re horrible. After all that I’ve said and it didn’t stir up any form of sympathy from you?” He whines, shoulders sagging sadly.

“If I hate them for what they did, I would be a hypocrite. I can’t blame them when they gave us the chance to meet and fall in…” He stops, suddenly feeling too hot and awkward. Mostly awkward.

“Love?” Renjun completes it for him. “What a fresh and alternative way of thinking.” He says sarcastically, but the bashful smile on his face tells differently.

“Do you regret it?” Jeno asks, throwing whatever petty pride he has left out of the window. “If… if you could turn back time, would you still have chosen to fall in love with me?” 

He has thrown him a curveball, judging from Renjun’s startled expression as he looks away, his lips parted open slightly in contemplation.

Perhaps that was the right question to ask all along. He needed the confirmation that Renjun would choose to love him all the same even knowing that he would be walking into fate’s trap set for him. He desires for him to say yes because that would make everything awful that happened all a thing of the past. He could sound selfish and entitled, but to err is human after all. He needs to hear him say that he chose him out of his own will.

Jeno holds his breath, trepidation mounting. Renjun finally returns his gaze, an unreadable expression on his face. His heart feels like it’s going to combust at any moment.

“Yes.” Renjun whispers, an inexplicable warmth engulfs from within when he sees Jeno’s triumphant smile and he chokes out a sob. “I can’t believe I’m saying this after I’ve complained so much about the Moirai, but I would gladly fall for their trap if that’s what it takes to meet you. And I really regret it all those mean things I've said, I'm so sorry-" 

"Shh, it's okay," Jeno’s arm crosses the distance to wipe the stray tear off Renjun’s face, but it seems to make it worse. Renjun breaks out in tears as the fraught chains suffocating his heart snap at his touch. Jeno reaches out to interlace his fingers in his, soothing words whispered over and over as he consoles him. Relief made the tears he’s holding begin to fall as well, no longer affected by the words that had lodged in his throat and feelings he shoved to the back of his mind. He snorts out in between tears, the thought that they are two grown men sobbing like this in a crowded cafe. It must not be a pretty sight.

In the buzz and clatter of their surroundings, the pit-patter sound of rain ceased. Light has managed to break through, rays reflecting the raindrops that fall from the clouds in a glittery effect. Through the mist there came the most startling of colors, the arc of a rainbow stretched far and wide on the blue sky. The appearance of the rainbow makes him finally feel at peace, and it manifests on Renjun’s face as well.

The people in the cafe starts to leave now that the weather has turned better, and Renjun tilts his head to the door inquiringly as he blows his nose with a tissue. “Do you want to leave? I’m… actually a little embarrassed right now.” He croaks out, conscious of a few stares directed at them.

“Okay.” Jeno replies and they make their way to the door, a queue formed at the exit as the people slowly filters out. He glances down at Renjun, and without thinking he pulls him close with a protective arm around the shoulder, and he misses this, this accustomed gesture and Renjun's warmth radiating on his skin. He meets his gaze and his heart swells immensely.

He lands a kiss on Renjun’s cheeks and the boy’s ear blooms red in response. He beams, bliss filling his heart as he holds him close. They leave the cafe with their hands clasped together, their arms swinging gently as they make their way to meet their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and perhaps subsequent chapters will have more worldbuilding of the realms, more greek mythology and magic, and minor characters to be introduced.
> 
> AND YES I can't bear to split them up for more than one chapter, I just can't T-T
> 
> I'm about halfway into this fic, please keep your eyes peeled for some sexy thangs ahead :>
> 
> \------------
> 
> Please feel free to comment and leave kudos!! ღ
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/dyoinjun) ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ


	7. Chapter 7

In the grand scheme of things, maybe they shouldn’t have agreed to meet their friends for the fireworks. True, he should acknowledge that their assistance is the major factor that paired them back together, but they aren’t making it easy for him when they are looking at them with the widest, shit-eating grins of the century.

“Please… for the love of God. Stop looking at us. It’s fucking creepy.” Jeno wails when they cast a look back furtively to snicker again for the umpteenth time. 

Renjun giggled softly and Jeno feels the laughter on his chest when they’re standing pressed together, Renjun's back on him as he wrapped his arms wrapped around his waist. He takes a whiff of his familiar scent; earthy cedar with a touch of jasmine, and man, it takes him back to the wee hours of the nights, to the cuddles and kisses they share, both not wanting to cut the sessions short even when they have morning classes hours after. Understandably his simple-minded brain would wander to some carnal-related frequencies. Fuck, he shouldn’t be aroused when they are inside the huge crowd waiting for the fireworks. He’s positive his friends are never going to let it go if anyone of them notices.

“Er... maybe if you stop looking at Injun like a dog in heat we wouldn’t be so concerned? We’re in public after all.” Donghyuck claps back, eyes rolled. Jeno’s eyebrows shoot up in alarm, incoherent words sputtered as his cheeks blotched red. 

How the fuck did he even know?!

Jaemin spats his drink and laughs maniacally, his torso doubling over when Jeno’s look of utter mortification evidently proved Donghyuck right.

"Shut it," Renjun pinches Donghyuck on his arm, though he decides to pull apart from him to create some distance. Jeno can't help but pout when he misses the warmth already, but when he feels his tiny hands slipping in his and squeezes his palms lightly, he finds it hard to contain the smile that threatens to spill on his face.

A loud boom pierces the chattering in the crowd and across the velvet night, the first fireworks burst through in brilliant display. Fiery blooms ignite and shine down on the cheering spectators, lighting up their faces in vivid colors of red, green and gold. Fireworks have never been his thing, the sentiment of it purely a gimmick that is too brief and fleeting considering the cons, like the exorbitant price and how it’s said to be really bad for the environment.

However, he would allow himself a different opinion for once, given that Renjun’s looking at the vivid display of fireworks marveled, his eyes lit up in fascination.

He glances around whom many have pulled out their phones to record the fireworks. He instinctively pulls out his phone, with the same intention in mind. “Let’s take a picture. With the fireworks.” Jeno says, shuffling Renjun so that their back is facing the scene, left arm outstretched with his phone in his hand. 

“Okay.” Renjun beams and they take their positions. Jeno should thank his lucky stars that he has the camera on burst mode because the last few shots of them are Renjun sneaking a peck on his cheek. He almost shrieks out in surprise; it’s not every day that Renjun would initiate kisses in public with their friends all around. He’s the needy and skinship starved one after all.

Jeno sighed contently; once again, his arms slide around Renjun’s waist and they unabashedly gaze at each other like this… like they belong only for each other in this world, simply immersed in both’s presence. In his eyes he sees all the inevitables; it’s destined his heart would be captured by him from day one, that he would have to accept the heartbreak and troubles for loving someone so unattainable and out of this world.

Unlike other couples, they can’t speak of the future, and even dreams of their prospects are futile. Those would be reveries that he ought to clear his head, and he's aware of how counterproductive and unhealthy it can be if it continues.

Besides, similar to the fireworks that cackle up and disappears in their sky-bound destiny, weren't there quotes or sayings that say how everything in life is supposedly predetermined to end somewhere? It wasn't even a fight to begin with, besides, he doesn’t even know who or what he’s fighting against. If he could punch his way out, sure, he would do that until his knuckles bruise and bleed. But when he's fighting against _intangible concepts_ like time... Or divine beings like the Moirai, he feels like he's already setting himself up for failure.

 _Stop thinking. You’re spiraling._ Jeno mentally berates himself. It will do him much good if he settles with what they have now, simply cherishing every moment with Renjun. Indeed, he will have to live with the understanding they will soon be realms apart and will have to learn to accept the void and emptiness in his heart.

But before it comes to that… he has the present to treasure.

Amidst his racing heart, there are only those words in his head, and he’s always been exceptional in allowing the emotions to reign full control of his mind. There’s nothing but the pounding in his chest when Renjun stares fondly with his mouth slightly parted in curiosity when he's quiet for too long, and he knows this is no better time but to say it.

“I love you,” Jeno admits, a confession said perhaps more for himself than Renjun. There’s urgency in his tone and Renjun regards him with a mix of surprise and something he doesn’t know.

Perhaps it's too hasty of him when they haven't even been speaking for a month, and he wouldn’t expect Renjun to say it back to him. He tries for an expression to mean that, he would honestly be fine if Renjun doesn’t return it-

He receives the answer by a quick flurry of movement, in the way Renjun drags him by his shirt so that their bodies are pressed together. Unwittingly he searches deeper in those soft features that he's enamored of. He never knew that he has been holding his breath when Renjun closes in to slot his lips delicately. 

“I love you too,” Renjun whispers against his lips, and he releases a shaky breath. It has to be true when his eyes opened to see Renjun’s chestnut irises shining brightly, his expression transparent and genuine and that’s when he’s certain.

When he returns the kiss, their teeth clanking against each other in the process, it must be an addiction by this point, a poison that he is willing to consume even it eats him alive in the long run.

“Do you trust me?” Renjun’s voice cracks, the heat between them rising to his cheeks, every single nerve set on fire.

Fuck, he’s in too deep anyway.

“Yes.”

He lets Renjun pull him away from the crowd, their minds alike as they chase the kisses they’ve lost all this while, unruly hands traversing burning skin desperately. He vaguely registers they’ve stumbled into a small walkway, and the noise from the spectators ebbs away as they went in further.

He pushes Renjun against a wall and his heart lurches when he sees his handiwork, the debauched look of swollen lips and mussed up golden locks on the god doing divine things to his nether regions.

Jeno’s taken by surprise when Renjun draws him in, his arms trapping him in a vice. “What are you thinking of doing?” Jeno whispers, claiming his ears, neck and even venturing down to lick the dips of his collarbones with his tongue. Renjun moans, helplessly leaning into his touch, and he loves the sound of that when it's a hundred times magnified in their little secret spot.

Renjun whines out and pulls Jeno’s jaw away from his collarbone so that he can look straight at him. 

“Jeno... I.. Erm. Shit- Doyouwanttohavesexwithme?” His words rush out, rosy cheeks blushing even deeper than Jeno thought possible.

"Do I want to have sex with you?" Jeno growls, the question thrown back from the incredulity. 

If he merely said ‘Are you down to fuck?’ he would have said yes in a heartbeat, but this is Renjun and when he’s talking in this archaic and prudish way of his it is also fucking dramatically adorable that he just wants to smash faces with this endearing idiot. “Are you kidding? I fucking want to babe. But I get that voyeurism can be super hot and sexy... but are you sure you want to do it here?” Jeno smirks.

Renjun chortles out a laugh and slaps Jeno on his shoulder. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

He presses his lips thin, brain searching for locations perhaps more suitable when Renjun snorts out, a palm stretched out in invitation. “Hold my hand.”

“Where are you taking me now?” Jeno sighs, desperation rising from the problem rising between his pants, but he takes his hands nonetheless. 

“My place.” Renjun grins devilishly. Without warning, Jeno’s eyes flash white for a millisecond and blink involuntarily from the abruptness. He jerks in shock, feet foundering when he finds himself magically transported in Renjun’s room. He sucks in a shuddery breath and clasps his heart, utterly stupendous of the sensation of having teleported from one place to another.

“What are you waiting for?” Renjun drawls, and Jeno jolts, startled out of his wits when Renjun comes into view from behind.

“Did you just fucking teleported?” Jeno shrills.

“Ahh, is that what you call on Earth? Teleportation?” Renjun smugly mulls when he removes his jacket. “We just call it traveling.”

Discussion is abandoned as Renjun takes his time to unbutton his shirt in a deliberate show of action. There's the unmistakable ghosting of a smile on Renjun's expression when their eyes meet, the provocating gaze intoxicating. Frankly, Jeno knows what he’s playing at, he’s stripping so slowly to taunt him, and it’s not like Jeno’s not letting him win, he wants him to win anyway. He fucking enjoys it, his dick _stirs_ in trepidation when Renjun finally drops his pants. Jeno's breath escapes him when he realizes Renjun's also hard with desire.

“Are we going to discuss semantics tonight, or are you going to fuck me?” Renjun groans impatiently when Jeno doesn’t make a single sound or movement the whole time.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Jeno strides across to slam his lips into Renjun’s waiting one, and he welcomes the arousal coiling in his veins.

-

Jeno has always prided himself as a pleaser and giver, sex-wise. He finds immense pleasure when his ministrations elicit those sweet sounds of satisfaction from partners of the past. He loves to please, laps at the compliments like a puppy after it ends, a job well done whispered in the heady haze of potent high.

Though tables are turned when it’s with Renjun. With him, there's only a profound desire for his attention and touches, and he relishes the desperation slinking in the heat of their entangled bodies. He becomes covetous, and the only thing on his mind is how much he wants to consume him, fuck him hours even if he’s well spent. Instinctively he pins Renjun down on the bed, his legs straddling on the sides. Renjun groans loudly, Adam apple bobbling up in response when Jeno palms down to his nipples. He rubs on his sensitive nip, marveling at how Renjun's body arched up prettily to each swiping motions. 

The sounds of his moans coming out from his pretty and swollen mouth make his blood thrum and his body heated with arousal. The air is stifling from the hazy lust, and there’s almost this crazed look on Renjun's face that he can’t help but feel weirdly pleased that he’s the one that caused it.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Jeno gasps out.

“And you’re still fully clothed. Pretty unfair.” Renjun whines and Jeno smirks and removes every article of clothing, and the whole time Renjun rakes over his torso appreciatively, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

He's no better. In no time he's already imprinted the image of Renjun sprawled beautifully, every splendid line of his body memorized. But good god, his pristine skin is unmarked and unblemished throughout, and he has to quell the temptation to paint the skin in red and purple with his mouth, the mere imagination of it sending shivers down his spine.

He balls up the sheets in desperation when Renjun’s fingers roam down his shoulders, dipping down to his pecs, the touch electrifying on his body. He muffles a groan when he ends at the inner side of his thighs, _so precariously close_ , and he had to restrain himself from bucking with the sensation of his fingers.

“When’s the last time you had sex? Before me... I mean.” Jeno croaked.

The question seems to carry a lot of weight when the blush on Renjun’s face is so instant and fierce, and he throws his arm across his face. Renjun whines when Jeno pries his arm, his eyes darting away to the side and Jeno knows something’s bothering him. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve never had sex,” Renjun confesses, eyes still trained to the side. “I mean… I may have when I was a human, but I’ve never done it when I was a god. Oh shit. Does that make me a virgin?”

Jeno’s eyes widened like saucers, and he burst out in unstifled laughter at the innocence of the statement and also the naked boy pinned below him, who truly has been a remarkable reversal of character the whole night.

The fervent intensity quiets down now as something more controlled, more passionate grows deeper in Jeno’s gut. His heart blossoms in deeper levels of affection, and it’s so characteristic of him that his mind decides now to dwell on the delicate finiteness of them being together… and he can’t bear it- can’t bear to leave him. He’s never going to waste precious time on stupid fights, never going to ignore and evade him anymore if their spats turn severe. The inner turmoil is killing him, but he kisses Renjun on his lips, light and shaky, and finally, Renjun moves his gaze back at him.

“If I’m your first for centuries, we should take this slow, and make it last, right?”

Renjun’s lips parted away in a gasp when Jeno cradles his jaw to access his mouth at the same time he grinds up against Renjun on the bed, their hard-ons finally finding friction as they rock their bodies together. Renjun groans out, loud and clear in the quiet night, and Jeno slips his hands down to grip his cock. He pumps the shaft a few times, his long slender fingers sliding up and down working to illicit those sounds of pleasure from Renjun. 

If he thinks Renjun has a nice sounding conversational voice, he sounds even fucking better when he’s whining and moaning like this, practically mewling out without reservation when his finger slides across the tip. Precum has already started to leak, and Jeno drags a finger to swipe it up.

“Look at me.”

Renjun does instantly. Faint pink dust his cheeks and he looks honestly ethereal, and without thinking, Jeno puts the finger into his mouth and sucks it all up.

“Fuck- You taste good,” Jeno says after pulling out his finger with an obscene pop. He bends down to bring their mouths together, and their kisses turn sloppy and wet when their tongues brush desperately for tasteful contact as his hands worked with the same fervent rhythm on Renjun’s cock.

A sudden cry ripped from his throat when Renjun’s hands wrap around his untouched cock. He couldn’t resist jerking his hips a few times when his cock’s so sensitive, and he whimpers into their kiss, their breaths muffled in the process. Renjun’s a fast learner when Jeno almost sees white with just the other’s hands rubbing up and down, deft fingers pressing down the head in circular motions.

“I want you to feel good too. Do you want me to keep going?” Renjun whispers, nibbling his ear as their tempo matched. 

“Keep going. Fuck, Injun-”

“What about this?” Renjun murmurs, nudging Jeno’s hands away and taking both of their cocks in his palm, his hands sliding up and down the shafts. The sensation sends both of them crying out in pleasure, and he sobs into the crevice of his neck when Renjun quickens his motions. A new flood of warmth hits him like a truck, and he’s overwhelmed by the feeling of their cocks rubbing tightly together, the friction almost unbearable as he thrusts up in tandem.

He’s not sure at what point the roles got switched, he’s supposed to lead since he’s supposedly the more experienced, but progressively it becomes obvious Renjun's the one in charge. He’s not going to complain, not when whatever he’s doing feels so fucking awesome.

Their breaths turned ragged and desperate when Renjun tightened his hold and grabs Jeno’s free hand to touch the heads of their cocks, the simultaneous touch making both of them thrust up deeper, harder, the heat between their bodies causing a fine sheen of sweat to form on their skin. 

“God damn-” Jeno stutters, his eyes rolled up in pleasure.

“Potty mouth.” Renjun scolds smirkingly, his fingers pinching Jeno’s arm lightly.

“You like it when I cuss.” Jeno managed to quiver out as they work together to chase after the feeling, and it’s overwhelmingly close with the way their thrusts are getting more erratic. He captures Renjun into a kiss, all clanking of teeth, open-mouthed and sloppy. They repeatedly slide against each other, and it feels so good, too electrifying that he sobs out in gratification.

“I’m close.” Jeno breathes heavily, and Renjun’s power over him is so painfully apparent when he dips his tongue down to lick a strip of skin near Jeno’s neck, the action deliberately meant to torment. 

“Cum for me Jeno, and then you can put your dick in me for Round two,” Renjun whispers into his ear, and Jeno’s moan is startled, his brain combusting from the implication. He bucks into Renjun as his orgasm tides in, gasps muffled against the god’s shoulder as cum splatters out on his stomach.

Renjun doesn’t let go of his hold as he chases for his release, and it’s torturous because Jeno feels the friction of his dick on his, and he thinks if Renjun goes on even longer it wouldn’t take much for his cock to stiffen again.

“Oh fuck. Jeno-” Renjun gasps, and Jeno rubs the tip of his dick even faster when he senses his orgasm coming. Renjun’s hips stuttered as he cums, frantic whimpers escaping his lips as it spills into Jeno’s palm. He finally lifts his fingers away as they lay boneless on top of each other, both utterly blissed out as they recover from the high, their chests rising up and down in quick breaths.

Renjun’s fingers thread through his hair as he hums a tune, face flushed and contented. Jeno’s still on top of him and he’s honestly not contemplating changing his position anytime soon. He’s going to stay exactly at this spot, sticking himself on Renjun like glue.

“I can’t believe this is your first,” Jeno says, and Renjun feels his lips mouthing the words on his skin. “It was.. totally even better than what I imagine our sex to be.”

Renjun snorts out, and Jeno looks up interestedly.

“I had centuries to learn everything that needs to be learned in the temple of love, babe. You have no idea.”

There's the hint of a challenge, gruff and layered thick with smug insolence. Visible is the flash of unmistakable provocation in the way Renjun’s eyes glint under the light, and the wicked curve of lips causes Jeno to feel fire coursing again specifically in his nether region.

“Round 2?”

Jeno's eyes turned into crescents, and his hands dip downwards again.

"Round 2."

Ψ

Time spent with the right person always seem to run faster, the days shorter when there are so many things he _needs_ to do now. It’s rather twisted that Jeno’s favorite thing to do, sleeping, feels like a waste recently, for he would trade the plentiful late hours of the night for activity if his body allows it. Alas, he’s not endowed with divine omnipotence of any sort, nor the miracle of waking up to find himself with superhuman abilities, so he has to deal with whatever physiological needs like any other ordinary human.

So it’s only natural that he has to fight against time. Three months in, he decided to ask Renjun if he wants to stay together at the most opportune timing, right as Renjun resolutely bounces on his lap, the sound of his buttcheeks slapping on thighs as the boy fucks himself open. The confirmation comes in the form of a cry; an agreement panted out from his lips when Jeno grabs Renjun’s cock and thumbs it with his fingers.

Within a week he packed his belongings; Donghyuck and Chenle graciously accepted his offer to switch places, and they moved into Jaemin and his shared apartment. It was a tense four-way stare off when he delivered the keys; Jeno could detect the looks on both gods were worry and concern for Renjun, but Renjun swore he didn’t miss the delightful mischief reflected in their eyes, probably excited to live with a human for their very first time without any supervision.

It’s also extremely characteristic of his best friend to send him off with a nonexistent tear in his eye and a bouquet of wildflowers (mostly weeds) he picked from the roadside, congratulating Jeno that he’s finally scored a real relationship and that he’s finally rid of him, but he knows deep down Jaemin is truly happy for him, even if he doesn’t show it.

“We will take care of Jaemin.” Was Chenle’s last comment when he closes the door, and it doesn’t help that it is Chenle who’s saying it. A tad more creepy since Jeno’s now aware of what kind of god he is.

The spectacular honeymoon period that lasted two months passed with them having fuckloads of good. gratifying. sex that Jeno appears high as a kite and blissed out during the day. Without Donghyuck to conveniently appear or Jaemin to look at them smugly from the sofa whenever they come out of Jeno’s room, it goes without saying that both of them would take every presented opportunity to fuck like rabbits. Frankly, every single corner or surface of the apartment has been utilized. It's remarkable how his cock could even cum after so many consecutive sessions.

And it's seriously unfair. Does being a god automatically mean you’re also majestic in sex? For when they switch positions Renjun fucks him so good it made him see stars, and to describe it more explicitly it’s like their body structure is perfectly matched and aligned so that Renjun’s able to hit the spot every single time. 

On the flip side, the high has to drop somewhere, and it did in their fourth month of living together. The exams period catches him by not so surprising surprise, and he has to cram his studies through consecutive late nights, sex withheld intermittently. He swore intercourse doesn't affect his studies, alleviates it actually, but Renjun is resolute that he shouldn't be a distraction for his studies.

It’s also _again,_ fucking unfair that Renjun doesn’t need to study or cram as much like any other self-respecting university student. To say that he knows Ancient Greek history than all the books and historians combined would still be considered an understated statement. Jeno’s sure he could recite centuries of it in his sleep.

All these grievances are set aside though when there’s a consolation to look forward to every late night. When he finally settles for bed, Renjun's presence would calm and soothe his exhausted mind. He would be asleep at the wee hours of the night, but he’s contented with wrapping his arms around his slender waist and pulling him into his chest as fatigue takes over him.

Renjun has never been the type to display his affections publicly, never the sort to handily proclaims his love for Jeno. And when Jeno realizes Renjun prefers to show it by little acts and gestures, the god grows even more endearing and precious to him. 

Just like this instance, when Jeno woke up to find his side empty without Renjun. When he softly pads across the bedroom, his heart warms at the sight of Renjun in the kitchen, his back bent in steady attention over the stove, hands stirring the pot’s contents in quick movements. He takes in every single detail; his voice light and airy when he hums a song, every tapping of his tiny feet as he moves to the beat. He breaks into a smile at the sight of Renjun twirling at the spot, and in mid-movement, he catches Jeno looking at him. His face would contort into the cutest frown, a rebuke quickly escaping his lips.

If only he could get used to this.

If only.

-

“Hey, Injun?”

“Yeah?” Renjun mutters under the covers of the duvet, angling his head slightly to look at Jeno as they lay on the bed for the night.

“I’m just asking… if… only if… after death and I’m worthy enough, will I be able to meet you in your world?” Jeno asks, question far from innocent and unlikely out of pure inquisitiveness.

He hears the snap and suddenly the bedroom lights are switched on. Jeno blinks repeatedly from the brightness, and when he turns over to the side he met eyes with Renjun, the boy’s lips pursed tightly. He immediately looks away.

“Jeno?” Renjun pokes a finger on his cheek, fishing for his attention. “What are you actually asking?” He asks, tone serious.

It’s almost painful to be subjected under Renjun’s hard scrutiny, but it’s too late to regret now. His hesitance simmers in the silence, plunging them in a palpable air of awkward tension. He’s never expressed his thoughts in spoken words, he realizes.

“I- I know your world is bigger than mine, and I know when the time comes, you have to leave, and I have to accept that. I know that.” Jeno pauses to breathe, and it’s nerve-wracking how there’s no change in Renjun’s expression when he peers up to look at him briefly. He curls his hands into the sheets, fearful and vulnerable that he’s allowing his heart bared open like that. He has never expected them to discuss commitments, no 'I will be with you forever' bullshit; it just sounds like a ridiculous child's play, and frankly delusional if he expects anything further with their relationship. Yet his stupid human brain posits the possibility they could meet in another way.. even if it’s in the far future, and these thoughts grew seeds of stubborn, steadfast faith. Before he could stop it, foolish hope has already festered in his mind.

“Every second of the time you’re still here with me makes me wish that there has got to be a way we can be together. B-Because I don’t think I can settle with knowing you’re still existing somewhere… And I hate it so fucking much, that when you leave, I have to carry on living my life with this fact.” His voice gave out and there’s nothing but stilled silence. The probable scenario riddles him with cold biting fear, and he looks down to hold back the tears. It’s painful just imagining it, so cruel and contemptuous how fate played them over and over again.

Finally confronted those thoughts that are dispelled in the deep recesses of his mind, his resolve wavers. It becomes a matter of seconds that his quiet sobs turned distraught, body heaving from the pain searing his chest. He must have caught Renjun by surprise with how he’s taken into his arms in haste, quick comforting hands rubbing his back repeatedly. 

They stayed like this, bodies entwined as their heartbeats are tuned together, and still, the only thing that mattered over his anguish is he would never choose to break off loving him, no matter what happens. He focuses on the gentle voice reverberating on his chest, the words of comfort and finally he stilled, his cheeks stained with dried tears.

Write him off as needy or clingy, but it is almost a level of reverence at this point. Renjun could be his antidote, drug, or poison depending on how he wants to think about it, but frankly, they all meant the same thing to him, that’s how far gone he is. When they pull apart from their embrace he lets Renjun takes his lips, his kisses ever so tender, and he can’t help but revel in his attention, all thoughts of the bleak future temporarily melted away as Renjun kisses him once more, twice, thrice, their mouths remained locked. 

_There’s nothing more important than the present._ A fitting quote in this instance, allowing himself to be lost in Renjun's touch, and it doesn’t take much for Jeno to cave into the heady trance of passion and heated desperation. Clothes are off within seconds, and it’s magical how their bodies fit together so perfectly. Renjun's in him this time around as he begged him for it, because the tightness and slight pain with every thrust feeds the pleasure surging in his veins, and it's tantalizing to ignore the inevitable for once.

When he’s positioned above the view is even more extraordinary, the unrelenting slamming of his ass down his hard cock even more satisfying when he’s able to see those blown out irises and lips parted for him in stupefied awe. He makes it his mission; to please, to satiate, to emanate those sweet sounds of pleasure from Renjun when he rides him like his life depended on it. Their moans became almost inaudible, drowned out by the piercing sounds of skin slapping on skin. He works himself open with each powerful thrust, savoring the hazy, swirly space of lustful desire and carnal pleasure.

With their hands intertwined they chase after the climax together, the sex heightened when Renjun drags him down to pound his cock even deeper, the new position taking in more of his length. With each motion, it sends him over the edge, and it doesn’t take long that he releases, his seed spilling out in sharp bursts. It proves too much for Renjun as well when Jeno clenches up, the tight rim enveloping his cock with enough friction that he cums after a few rough thrusts, a soundless gasp escaping from his lips. He languidly grinds down on his cock, milking the last of his orgasm as they catch their breaths, though his mouth is still busy pressing kisses on Renjun’s neck.

“Let me get some tissues-”

“No- let's just stay like this.” Jeno protests, preventing him from pulling away. Renjun sighed lightly, carding his fingers into Jeno’s sweaty hair, pushing away the errant strands stuck on his forehead.

“I’m going to make this right,” Renjun states to him and himself for the matter, and Jeno’s eyes widened, his expression questioning.

“I love you. More than you can imagine.” Renjun implores, the resolution in his gaze is unmistakable. “Promise me, you wouldn’t keep anything to yourself ever again?”

Jeno’s eyes droop down, his lips quivering, and Renjun caresses his cheek for his attention, his eyes searching. 

Jeno manages a weak smile, his eyes brimming with tears, the toll of his thoughts finally alleviated. “I promise you. And I also really, really love you.” He exhales heavily.

Renjun smiles, so utterly soft and affectionate, and Jeno takes his lips once again.

Ψ

“What am I going to do?” Renjun whines to Donghyuck and Chenle, both still silent after he disclosed what happened between him and Jeno (sans the sex of course) yesterday. He rubs his fingers pads onto his steaming mug of hot chocolate, his eyes darting around at the Christmas decorations dangling above their heads in this quaint cafe he and Jeno frequent these days.

“This time next year, I would have four months left. I can’t imagine Jeno and me staying sane till then.” He swallows harshly, the gnawing anxiety eating him bit by bit, the lines in between his brows deepened as he frets over his complicated situation.

It was distressing to witness Jeno broke down like that yesterday, and it pained him when he could say nothing to comfort him, nothing worthwhile to stop his tears from falling. Despite the inevitability of their parting, it still kills him to see the despondency stricken on Jeno’s face.

He only has sixteen months left. That’s how little, precious time he has. The situation has become rather satirical; the punishment that he so lamented, the slow arduous time he has to spend on the mortal realm have changed in their meaning entirely. What a cruel, demented kind of a joke, and it sucks to be the butt of it, courtesy of the three old witches. 

“You could stay here till Jeno’s time ends.” Chenle blurts in casually. Donghyuck‘s eyes widened in shock, and a peek of Renjun is enough proof to push Chenle’s cup closer to him.

“Why don’t you just drink your chocolate? And shut up.” Donghyuck whispers threateningly. Chenle pouts but wisely doesn’t say anything more.

Renjun’s not mad at Chenle, not when the god is still so young and clueless about many matters… but he does flinch in reaction to that. There’s something about the choice of words, the implication in the meaning that would rub off in the wrong way. It can’t be helped that inherently gods have always viewed humans as a study; given that their view has always been from above, by the macroscopic. Compare it with centuries of their existence… some gods may innately regard the mortals’ time as inconsequential.

However, how could he just… simply stay till the end of Jeno’s lifetime? It’s so perfunctory laden as if he’s just casually watching a movie and leaving the theater when it ends. Loving Jeno never felt like a responsibility or burden that he has to bear, not when he unconditionally loves him with all his heart. Every single path and decision he made has set himself to have his heart seized by Jeno, and even in this strange convoluted kind of twisted journey he’s thrown in he’s able to find his bearings because of him, the first and the only human he will only have eyes for. 

After what happened yesterday, it’s absolutely out of the question, so callous in a manner to just ‘up and leave’ the world when Jeno takes his last breath, when the point is, he’s not sure how he’s going to survive without Jeno’s existence in his life. It shouldn’t end this way. He wouldn’t allow that. 

“I don’t want time to end for Jeno,” Renjun mutters.

Donghyuck’s face falls in an instant. “You’re not serious.”

If he received divinity from Irene centuries ago, why can’t Jeno?

“We were mortals first, aren’t we? Why can’t Jeno attain immortality just like us?” 

“How long has it been since the last god that appeared at the gates of Mount Olympus? Hmm? Two hundred? Two fifty?” Donghyuck asks, his fingers extended in a count. 

“I don’t know, but why does it matter.” Renjun snapped, his patience wearing thin.

“A mortal needs to experience death first, and then his lifetime’s merits are evaluated for Apotheosis.” Donghyuck wearily says. It’s crazy difficult to find a worthy being in these chaotic times, you should know that at least.”

Renjun thrashes his body violently in frustration, his back dropping in a defiant slouch. “I have to try for him, Hyuck-ah. He has been nothing but good to me, and I want to do something, anything before it’s too late. I don’t want to regret for all eternity an-”

“Fine! Fine, I get it.” Donghyuck interjects with a grimace. It is unsettling that Renjun is so willing to risk anything for Jeno, and even if he was the one that encouraged him initially, he doesn’t want Renjun to make any rash decisions that can cost him. Maybe he regrets encouraging him then… just a smidge. 

“What about taking this up to Irene? She could help. The principal gods have granted immortality in the past too.” Chenle suggests.

Renjun shakes his head, the thought of troubling Irene too indecorous. “She has enough on her plate, and I don’t want to inconvenience her. I don’t think the other gods would like that I’m asking favors too when I’m serving my time here.”

Donghyuck exhales out a long-suffering sigh and considers deeply for a few seconds before motioning for them to sit closer. “What?” Renjun asks, whipping his head back and forth in fear that someone they know is nearby.

“There is still another way. It just involves some… Backdoor operations.” Donghyuck whispers, low-pitched. “What I am about to tell you, is top secret. And I heard it from a very credible source.”

Chenle looks interested for the first time today, his hands clasped together in anticipation.

“Remember Glaucus? The mortal who miraculously turned immortal upon eating a magical herb?”

Renjun wracked his brains and tries to put a face to the man. He remembers him, on Zeus’ celebration of the Games, where everyone was present on Mount Olympus to honor the god. The man… he answers by the name Minseok. 

He sat some seats away mingling with the other gods of the sea, and Renjun remembered him as a courteous and affable individual even if they weren’t directly in conversation. A guard relayed a message that Poisedon required his presence, and that was the last he saw of the god when he left the table.

“He goes by Minseok.” Renjun supplies. “So you’re saying I should find the magical herb for Jeno so he can turn immortal?”

“No, the realm would be incensed that not one, but two mortals bypassed the standard procedures to attain divinity. It would cause a ruckus.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“It is rumored that Minseok’s immortality wasn’t a fluke. Apparently, he cultivates the herb.”

Renjun sucks in a hasty breath, his eyes enlarged in surprise. This… this changes the whole narrative. “Where did you hear this from?!”

“Just someone? I’ve already promised I wouldn’t divulge his or her name.”

“Why would someone tell you such a massive secret? This is huge, and-”

“Oh, give me some credit, will you? There must be a reason I’m the God of Charms?” Donghyuck cuts him off, slightly affronted. “I can’t help if some gods gravitate towards me and tell me things!” 

It is for the best that Renjun doesn’t probe, knowing Donghyuck he would sidetrack and drill on to great lengths with the end nowhere in sight. “Right…” Renjun mumbles. “So, the magical herb.”

“Oh right. The herb,” Donghyuck recovers. “My source revealed that the Moirai has been using the herb for Zeus knows how long, because it seems to be the only thing that helps to maintain their beauty and vigor. Since they are like… even older than time.”

The memory of the woman in the tarot card tent flashes across his eyes and Renjun glowers unhappily. “They’re rarely seen out in the realms, what use do they need it for?”

“Tsk,” Donghyuck inflicts, his expression morphed into one of exasperation. “So they can go about doing their business undetected? How disconcerting would it be if three ancient bats suddenly appear along the street? You would want to wheel them off to the nearest nursing facility, oh, bless their old crinkly souls!”

Chenle’s laugh is poorly contained even when Renjun hushes him with a poke on his ribs, though he can’t stop his giggle from spilling as well. “So I was saying, something happened between the Moirai and Glaucus. They fought.”

Renjun listens, impressed that Minseok would stand against the Moirai. No one ever dared to stand their ground on them, to do it would be courting death. He would allow himself to gloat. Just for a minute.

“Minseok was frustrated living as a half-god, he had immortality, yes, but he didn’t attain divinity, no godly powers that naturally comes with all true gods. He pleaded the Moirai to bestow him those powers, but they refused. They said he was only fated to serve as a half-god, and he was foolish and greedy to think the herbs he cultivates could exchange the powers he wanted.”

Chenle winces. “That’s harsh.”

“They were, but their response isn't surprising if you think about it." Donghyuck shrugged. "After their fight, Minseok became reclusive and have the herbs hidden, which causes the Moirai’s supply of the herb to dwindle. It seems they couldn’t do anything about it when Poseidon has Minseok’s back.”

“Junmyeon? I remember he sought for him during the celebrations. Did Minseok work under his jurisdiction?”

Donghyuck blinks a few times, a cryptic smirk on his lips. “Well… When I say Junmyeon has Minseok’s back, it means Minseok has his back bent for Junmyeon, and I’m pretty sure you know what that means.”

“What?!” Renjun covers his mouth in shock, and Chenle spats out his drink, the chocolate slobbering down his mouth. Donghyuck casts him with thinly veiled disgust as he throws him a napkin, and he covers his face in embarrassment when their reactions attracted some attention from nearby tables.

“I’m not even going to ask where you get this news from,” Renjun gawks in astonishment at his best friend who can be downright terrifying and formidable with the type of scoop he possesses from his sources. Donghyuck simply snorts and sips his chocolate.

“I’m quite certain that Junmyeon is the reason why he wished to attain powers,” Donghyuck says a beat later. “Any ideas why?”

Renjun hums in thought and drills his fingers on the tabletop. He can’t wrap it around his head, and he’s perplexed, to say the least. How does the mighty Poseidon even find time for his lover? He’s third in rank of the entire realm and has the oceans to watch over beside the regular meetings on Mount Olympus with the others. It is common knowledge that the god has been swamped with work for centuries.

Besides, Minseok will never be able to travel down Junmyeon’s palace or enter the divine realm with the lack of powers, he has never been-

Wait. That’s precisely it.

Because Junmyeon would barely have time for him, simple as that. They must be unable to meet all this while, with Minseok confined to inland and Junmyeon with his hectic duties… Time for Minseok would just be spent on waiting and missing the person he sorely wishes to see. It's not hard to understand why Minseok desired powers, because when immortality works like a double-edged sword, all the time in the world will be for naught. He must have felt useless… perhaps even expendable. He must be uneasy and lonely all these while with no friends to seek solace from. 

“He feels inadequate in their relationship.” Renjun answers.

“Spot on,” Donghyuck calls and points his finger triumphantly.

On instinct, he touches the necklace that he has been wearing ever since that day he regained his powers. A plan pops in his head, and he’s confident Minseok wouldn’t be able to turn down to.

“And I just have the thing that Minseok needs.” Renjun draws out the necklace resting on his neck, and Donghyuck grins impishly from ear to ear. Renjun knows that look on his best friend from anywhere. Donghyuck has already invited himself into the plan without him ever asking.

“Do you know where Minseok is?” Renjun asks.

“Tomal, the southernmost of the Peninsula.” 

“Okay, then we just have to pay him a visit.”

“We?” Chenle pats his chest expectantly, his face lit with the prospect of an adventure. “Am I included?”

“No.” Donghyuck and Renjun flatly say in unison.

“That’s not fair!” Chenle’s face falls, features set in a pout.

Renjun puts a hand on Chenle’s chubby ones, the gesture placid but tinted with a gentle warning. “We are on a mission, and I know you mean well. But if anything goes wrong, I would have to deliver my head to Baekhyun, and you wouldn’t wish that upon me, would you?”

Chenle whines unhappily and slumps back into his seat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did this chapter become so smutty?  
> (Sorry not sorry)
> 
> I know in the last chapter I said this fic is halfway done, but the fact is... this fic is drawing to a close. Perhaps that's why I took such a long time to write this chapter to speed up the plot a little. (ugh my babie)  
> I'm also writing a noren one-shot concurrently, maybe that's another reason why this update is delayed hahahahhaha
> 
> \------------
> 
> Please feel free to comment and leave kudos!! ღ
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/dyoinjun) ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ


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